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The UKFF Celebrity Twatlist


HarmonicGenerator

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After seeing him for the first time on You Have Been Watching tonight, I think Jack Whitehall is fully deserving of his place on this list.

I agree also. He started out with a couple of decent lines but from there on in everything he said was painfully unfunny and it was met with silence - so it was worth it just to see him fall flat.

 

Not sure Brooker is a fan either. He seemed to get slightly more annoyed with him as the show got older. Although Brooker has an unwritten rule where he hates most young people.

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12

Michael McIntyre

michael-mcintyre.jpg

 

What's he famous for?

Comedy, apparently.

 

And he's a twat because...

He's a smug, self-loving cunt. He laughs at his own jokes, and his laugh itself is horrendous, which makes it even worse. He deals with horrendous stereotypes despite unknowingly being one himself. He's somehow managed to get to the stage of doing arena tours, and he's just not funny. Ponce.

 

Was he voted a Top Twat?

No.

 

And so to summarise, Michael McIntyre is worse than...

Rape.

 

 

 

 

11

The Mighty Boosh (but particularly Noel Fielding)

mighty_boosh-gal-nme08.jpg

 

What are they famous for?

Their TV programme and being well in with the NME, innit

 

And they're twats because...

Says one voter, how can you not like the Mighty Boosh? It's so 'random'. Never mind that it's not particularly funny and makes no sense. [Fielding is] another one of those skinny jean-wearing twats who've contributed to the younger generation looking and smelling a lot messier these days.

 

Were they voted a Top Twat?

Yes.

 

And so to summarise, The Mighty Boosh are worse than...

skinny jeans and the rest of the twats who wear them. And students. Also students.

 

 

 

 

10

Chris Moyles

moyles460.jpg

 

What's he famous for?

Being fat, rude and on the radio.

 

And he's a twat because...

To paraphrase a couple of voters, he's an unfunny cunt who surrounds himself with other unfunny cunts who think they're funny cunts. You actually feel yourself becoming less witty, funny and intelligent as you listen to him talk. Shut up, just shut the fuck up you fat fucking fuck.

 

Was he voted a Top Twat?

Surprisingly, no.

 

And so to summarise, Chris Moyles is worse than...

The BNP.

 

 

 

 

So we're into the top 10 now, here's the list so far.

 

30 Alex Turner

29 The Ting Tings

28 Johnny Vegas

27 Peter Kay

26 Jade Goody

25 Frankie Boyle

24 Cristiano Ronaldo

23 Jack Whitehall

22 Princess Diana

21 Gok Wan

20 P!nk

19 Pete Doherty

18 Jeremy Clarkson

17 Oasis/Liam Gallagher

16 Morrissey

15 Jonathan Ross

14 Lewis Hamilton

13 Jamie Oliver

12 Michael McIntyre

11 The Mighty Boosh/Noel Fielding

10 Chris Moyles

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9

Danny Dyer

severance4.jpg

 

What's he famous for?

Being a cockney nutjob, innit, you slag. 'ave it, blindin', and so on.

 

And he's a twat because...

 

Argues one,

 

"Funny little cabbage-headed chubby bloke who's somehow carved a career out of being a walking Guy Ritchie film. Laughable luvvie who does a worse cockney stereotype than Dick Van Dyke."

 

Argues another,

 

"One-dimensional 'hard man' who plays pretty much the same role in everything he ever does, Fs and Cs his way through such performances, looks towards genuine hooligans with anything but risible contempt, got where he is using the HHH method of rubbing shoulders with Ray Winstone while getting film parts for his equally-no-mark mates with little to no effort. Has pulled the ultimate oxymoron by blagging a Zoo column that occurs a handful of pages before a "twat of the week" feature, and has nailed Gillian Anderson on screen. Envious? yes, absolutely."

 

Was he voted a Top Twat?

What do you think?

 

And so to summarise, Danny Dyer is worse than...

Having your cock fall off then fuck you in the face.

 

 

 

 

8

Davina McCall

1173_2.jpg

(hey, I recognise that bloke she's with. Twats must attract each other)

 

What's she famous for?

Big Brother ...

 

And she's a twat because...

 

Let's hear from Mr. Seven again:

No other cunt on the television makes me go apoplectic faster. Seriously, the hairs on my skin stand to attention, my blood starts to boil and I clench my fists so tight my knuckles threaten to explode. From her "wacky" schtick which extends to little more than shouting at "random" moments to her disgusting knacker tattoo on her wrist, everything about this bitch screams "Rape me with a knife". I won't lie though, I'd love to fuck her. Before I kill her slowly obviously.

 

Or to take a briefer response, there's the fact that she's an annoying witch.

 

Was she voted a Top Twat?

Oh yes.

 

And so to summarise, Davina McCall is worse than...

the economy.

 

 

 

 

7

Robbie Williams

robbie-williams_000953_MainPicture.jpg

 

What's he famous for?

Singing.

 

And he's a twat because...

As Seven says, he's basically the definition of the word...

 

Was he voted a Top Twat?

Multiple times, yes.

 

And so to summarise, Robbie Williams is worse than...

Syphilis.

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Not sure about the boosh, i think a lot of the hate comes from the fans of there stuff, who are incredibly twattish.

 

Not a huge Fielding fan, but Julian Barett is a genuinely funny guy, and anyone who has seen Nathan Barley knows he's a great actor as well.

 

How has robbie williams been beaten?? thats ridiculous

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