Scott Malbranque

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About Scott Malbranque

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    Mid Carder
  • Birthday 10/01/1979

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  1. I'm a huge fan of it's initial run and I even enjoyed the movie and was ridiculously excited and excitable for this, but I'm with Gooch there. This is shit.
  2. Genuinely lads, I don't think I'd be able. I had a finger up there once and it wasn't erotic in the slightest. It just felt like I had a constant need to do me toilets
  3. Had an endoscopy in 2011 and tough guy here decides I didn't need a local aneesthetic. Wound up in the foetal position, crying, after two failed insertion attempts, drooling into some sort of cup placed at the side of my mouth while an old woman was rubbing my head saying "Now, now, son. You're doing brilliant." I then sharted and we all knew what had happened but nobody mentioned it, so on top of the sore throat I had nappy rash to contend with. I truly dread the day I'm in for a colonoscopy, coz it happens to us all, doesn't it? I always wondered though, does it rub off the supposed g-spot with that weird discomfort or is it just plain sore? And Monkee, that is incredible!!! Incredible! I'll listen to Hanks on what's probably my fave edition of the Nerdist podcast on the way home now out of respect!!!
  4. Garbage - The World is Not Enough is probably my favourite Bond song ever as even though the movie is absolutely desperate, it's a wonderful, wonderful song that is instantly recognisable and relatable to Bond. Also, Mr.Bungles' Thunderball interpretation. Also, I love Shirley Manson's voice. It always sounds like she's really enjoying having a shite.
  5. Big shock waking up to that this morning. Immediately thought of Herbie as he was a big fan. Saw them live at Sunstroke in 1995 with White Zombie, Mudhoney and Pennywise, and although Pennywise blew everyone else on the bill to shreds with their set, and Soundgarden were quite lethargic and boring, I was standing there thinking “I’m obviously in the presence of greatness, so even if they’re shite today, it’s nice to be able to see them live”
  6. Absolutely delighted to read that. Perfectly mirrors how I felt about Hackers and Jolt Cola. In 1995 through 1996 my nickname was seriously Jolt...and I owe that to Hackers. Fucking wonderful movie, and an incredible soundtrack. All volumes. The stopping traffic scene had me nearly crying with joy in the cinema!!! I remember it was on MGM movies a while back and I made my missus watch it and she was like "What's this shit???" and if I wasn't such a gentleman I'd have genuinely dribbled some piss into her Sleep Tea that I make her... Oh I love you, Brewster.
  7. If Urbans not in, I'm out. His bottom lip alone outacted most performances by any actor in the last decade.
  8. In fairness to the Hairy Apist, they could be taking a Cronenberg approach and duping us all :
  9. Very sad about Robert Miles. This gig/set used to be played at many a house party after the night before to keep us going. I was never a massive fan of Children as it just reminded me of 'night almost over or last song' alarm bells, but he had some absolutely glorious tunes and melodies...
  10. Right lads, I’ve been out of commission for a bit (very rough time - long story) but was thinking to myself last night about this, and I’ve nowhere else to submit this except here, to you wonderful people. I take ignorant, mutant size plops that regularly take three flushes and a stick, and even when they come halfway up the rim of the pot you can see a serious amount of curling going on at the bottom. I was thinking about how to establish the net length of my giks and the only option is to go outside to my garden and do it : There’s a fair amount of land there as yiz can see, so I have plenty of space for this experiment. Basically, what I’m suggesting is I squat down and get ready to do my business, but as it starts anchoring out, I’ll start walking in the squat, on my hunkers controlling the bum muscles so the plop doesn’t snap, until I’m finished. I recently clogged my mates toilet in his apartment (six flushes, a metal bar and Cillit Bang) and he had to get a coat hanger into the septic tank the next day as there was backdirt spilling out of the drain thing, out the back of the apartment block, so he reckons if I did that, I should be aiming for a meter. He’s still stewing at me though. I have two dogs, so I can blame them if it’s noticed or stumbled upon.
  11. I've read the book a few times over the years, but I won't watch it purely because I really, truly dislike Ricky Whittle.
  12. Broadchurch is tremendous. I have a massive crush on Olivia Coleman!! For what it's worth, I enjoyed Season 2. It was what it needed to be given it's just about the aftermath. Line of Duty Season 4 has exceeded all my expectations after the absolute belter that was Season 3.
  13. I think the last movie I really enjoyed Willis in was Lucky Number Slevin (or if that counts), but yeah, he has this smug, toxic aura off him these days. I have faith that he’ll play David Dunn with that same vulnerability as he did in 2000 and not an unrecognisable Bruce Willis version of the character that is essentially every character he’s played 90% of the time since. You’ve no idea what the ending to Split did to me though. I can’t stress enough how it genuinely upended me and has turned into my favourite ending of all time. I sat there stunned and almost shaking with every hair on my body on end. Even though I veet my plums, undercarriage etc regularly, when I heard my body reacted and spawned new hair growth down there specifically to stand on end to show it’s appreciation for what was going down on screen. Marauders is awful.
  14. I don't know how he's going to top the ending to what was the greatest magic trick ever pulled off in my cinema going experiences, but I've pined for 17 years to read this news, and greatly anticipated for the last few months:
  15. Lads, do any of you have a link to TIJ 184 (Jericho's 25th Anniversary) show? I had it ages ago and can't find the stick it was on and I want to listen to it in my car on lunch and I'm snookered here now... Edit - It's grand, I found it. Went onto Player FM and used that Video Download Helper add on to take it down. This technology lark with apps and add ons is lovely, isn't it?