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Scott Malbranque

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About Scott Malbranque

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    Mid Carder
  • Birthday 10/01/1979

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    http://burstballoonknot.blogspot.com
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  1. DVDs and Films You Have Watched Recently 3 - The Final Insult

    The kitchen roll hole was well looked after. We'll leave it there.
  2. DVDs and Films You Have Watched Recently 3 - The Final Insult

    Harsh. Harsh, but fair.
  3. General Adnan's Football 17/18

    I'm not sure about this Theo Walcot business. It doesn't even look like Theo Walcott for starters, and to be honest, I think Lookman has proven his worth lately when given the chance in that role.
  4. The Health and Fitness Thread

    I’m on a variant of 5/3/1 training at the moment, Stavo. The normal way to do 5/3/1 is four days a week, but I have it switched up so I can do it 6 days a week (Mon-Sat with Sun off). The official way to hit a 5/3/1 is like this and this gentleman can explain it better than I can could ever dream of doing: https://www.t-nation.com/workouts/531-how-to-build-pure-strength For some reason, I wasn’t responding as well as I would have liked to this and found there wasn’t enough volume for me personally (again, everyone and every body is different) so I switched it up to fit my needs and skipped deload weeks and my accessory work is all super and giant sets as I find that has me pissing sweat much more than a half hour on a treadmill could ever do. So cardio is done for the most part through very little rest on my weight training. That’s what works for me. Every day I usually start off with 5 sets of 10-15 reps front facing chin ups supersets into the same amount of sets and reps on clap press ups. Or if I’m particularly buzzing going into me gym I’ll do weighted chin ups into weighted dips and then do some Gary and Phil Neville style shuttles up the farm/garden. It’s all very Rocky IV in this weather too. On the accessory work, some cycles I’ll do low reps heavier weight and other cycles I’ll do high reps lower weight or sometimes high reps with heavy weights and will switch up exercises etc. Really depends on how strong or shite I feel on that day. Essentially a rough, basic breakdown of my week would look like this, but again, the accessory work would be switched around and changed... Monday – Squats and Abs Squats 5/3/1 basis with a 5x5 warmup set Accessory Work Superset: Leg Curl into Donkey Calf Raises (4 sets 5-25 reps) Superset : Gobley Squats into Box Jumps (4 sets 5-25 reps) Ab Work I usually do the P90X Ab Ripper X. It’s wonderful. I have very limited movement in my legs and can’t do weighted lunges as I’ve no cruciate in my left knee and my medial ligament is goosed, so my pots do be gone when I’m even attempting barbell lunges or anything like that. Just basically linebacker leg training... Tuesday – Military Press Military Press 5/3/1 basis with a 5x5 warmup set Accessory Work Superset: Landmine Press into Kettlebell swings (3-4 sets of 5-25reps) Giant Set : Barbell Bench Paused Press into cable or dumbbell side raises into rope front raises (4 sets of low reps on bench, into high reps of the other two...) Boxing and bag work. Weighted hangs Wednesday - Deadlift Deadlift 5/3/1 basis with a 3x3 warmup set Accessory Work - Arms Superset: Bicep exercise into tricep exercise (5x5 heavy) Giant Set : Tricep into bicep into tricep (Bog standard 4x10-12 reps) Superset : Pull ups into Dips (3x10-20 reps) Ab Ripper X Thursday – Bench Press Bench Press 5/3/1 basis with a 3x5 warmup set Accessory Work – Chest and Back/Push Pull Superset: Cable Crossovers (lying or standing) into Barbell Row (4x10-15reps) Superset : Incline Bench into Cable Rows (varying grips) (5x8-15 reps) Superset : Weighted Chest dips into Barbell or Dumbbell paused shrugs (2x25 reps) Box jumps Friday – back to squat day Saturday – military press day Sunday – Rest Monday – deadlift day Tuesday – Bench Press Rinse and repeat until progress stalls or you get bored and then I switch it up. Every about 6 cycles of 5/3/1, I’ll switch it up and do the only “celebrity” workout that has ever made a dent and that’s Joe Manganiellos Evolution workout. Would recommend that book to anybody. The man speaks so much sense and on Weeks 5-6 of the workout, I nearly throw up regularly every time I’m on it. I downloaded an app called Wendlerized which is so basic and brilliant. It tracks your 5/3/1 workouts, tells you what weights to lift, your progressions and on your ‘as many reps as possible’ set will give you the reps to beat. Very, very long winded and boring on my part, I know, but I don’t know how else to explain it without going into what must seem like an ignorant, unnecessary amount of detail. And also apologies about the formatting...poxy Fisher Price pc in work...
  5. The Health and Fitness Thread

    Stavo's spot on there with pacing and with regards to first thing in the morning workouts. It all depends on the person and if you feel you aren't responding as you'd like, then try timing it similar to Gus there. I'm doing first thing workouts for the last few years now, 6 days a week, and it's still very hard to do, but I find I respond better to early morning workouts with regards to fat loss and body recomping so that's why I'm sticking with it, even though I'd much prefer to go from 7pm to 8pm or something like that, but my work/home life doesn't allow for that so I have to go first FIRST thing in the morning. I get up at 0530, take a GDA (it's a nutrient shuffler, essentially) and then 15 minutes later take 50grams of carbs (Karbolyn) with some Agmatine and Citrulline (the latter two mainly just for pump and aesthetic reasons as I can't take creatine) and then wait a 45 minutes to an hour to workout. Training fasted is an awful cunt. I do it for a month in summer on a cut or when I'm about to go away on holidays, but my strength and energy levels drop drastically and it really isn't something I personally think you should do on a constant basis, but in saying that, every body is different, and it really is all trial and error until you find out what works for you. If you're looking into fasted training first thing, you should look at sipping on a BCAA supplement like Xtend Raw intra workout too. It really does help and isn't just a gimmick.
  6. General Adnan's Football 17/18

    A 0-3 hammering by Ipswich at home for my 21st birthday in 2000 was a horrible one for me. Unsworth had an absolute shocker of a game. There were plastic bottles fired at they team as the walked down the tunnel at full time in what was an awful, toxic atmosphere that day. It was followed by my losing my Toy Story wallet and all my money inside at Cream that night and then spending hours trying to convince my mate that Sonique wasn't Skunk Anansie. There was also this lad. Our very own Ali Dia:
  7. Minor news items that don't deserve a thread

    It's a wonderful miracle of nature but on the practical side I'd say her poor husband is going to be hearing "Are you in yet?" for the foreseeable.
  8. Jamie Oliver

    I can take or leave him for the most part. The only time he ever comes on my telly is when herself is flicking through the stations during a Corrie or Fair City ad break, and he'll pop up on one of the channels I never even knew existed, in Nairobi, making a soup out of various leaves, turmeric, pepper and breast milk while she'll turn to me and say "Ah, isn't he great? He can do anything." I suppose, I can leave him actually. I also really don't like the look of his mouth when he talks. It really annoys me. Looks like he's constantly and enthusiastically reciting the alphabet with a half pack of Opal Fruits in his mouth.
  9. Raw is 25!

    This. I rewound that moment when it first happened so much that the tracking on my VHS started poxing up. That roar from the crowd when Jericho pops up still gives me goosebumps to this day, so can you imagine what it did to Jericho, who is a very big fan of himself.
  10. Doomed anecdotal megathread #2

    You're a great man, Colonel. A great, wonderful man. If you take Ashwagandha, Maca, Red Ginseng and 50mg of Zinc a day (Take the first three only five days of the week as they're adaptogens) it makes your horn a bit more bulbous. I swear by the combo. I went to see John Digweed a month ago and when I went to the trough to have a widdle I didn't even have the dreaded pill willy (those who know, know).
  11. DVDs and Films You Have Watched Recently 3 - The Final Insult

    Leather is very handy to clean though, C-Bol. It all - all of this - started with me ma and da going down the pub of a Sunday, and one Sunday in particular had Joely Richardson running around in the nip in Lady Chatterly on BBC. I'd never seen anything like it, and the gap in the sofa cusions made sense. Sure, I still get caned over jockeying sofas. One of my mates posted an Ikea brochure to my gaff on my birthday last year with a note that said "Better than Xhamster". The missus was stumped and I had to say "Ah it's just a joke coz you made me put up all them flatpacks in the summer and I was just moaning at them about it..."
  12. DVDs and Films You Have Watched Recently 3 - The Final Insult

    I’m a huge fan of the original Jumanji and even though I curled my lip at the idea of a remake/rebook, I now feel the sequel surpassed its predecessor completely. It was so, so enjoyable and one of those flicks that make you say “This is what going to the pictures is all about! This and that cheese sauce stain that you find on your chin and the collar of your t-shirt three hours later.” If I was a younger man again, I assure you that Karen Gillan would have had nations...continents full of potential populace emptied into the toilet pot/sock/crease in the sofa or bed/my abdomen. She is absolutely stunning. But I’m trying to focus on growing up, now that I’m two years away from 40. So any release these days is just for duty’s sake.
  13. The 2018 Royal Rumble surprise entrant pool

    After cleaning house and dispatching of many, many a female competitor from past and present, Natalya stands tall in the ring awaiting the countdown to the next competitor. The crowd begins to chant 10...9...8...7...(Is it Lita)...6...5...(Oooh, is it Rousey)...4...3...2 (TRISH?)...1.... Something that sounds akin to a goose being tripped over and stood on blares over the PA and in a big twist, is followed by a variation of Bret Harts music. It’s obviously someone Natalya knows, and knows well. It’s Alison Hart!!! But the WWE graphic displays her name as the name that has haunted and followed the new entrant throughout her life - HART FART. In a throwback to gimmicks past for Natalya we’re about to engage in what can only be described as the Dispute of the Poot and the Bicker of the Gickers. It’s going to go off...and my money is on the lady who’s had that cross to bear for decades longer. I would also like to hope – on a personal level – that I could see Planet Stasiak once again, and Vince Vaughan’s character from Brawl in Cell Block 99.
  14. DVDs and Films You Have Watched Recently 3 - The Final Insult

    I was actually going to give it a wide berth going by what your good self, and a few others I've spoken to, have said about it, but I now feel obliged to sit through this and give an opinion. Out of sheer respect to you D-Mal, I'm going to brave this tonight. It looks like Alien Nation by way of some poxy CS Lewis story. But in saying that, I was seemingly the only person who thought Elysium should have been deemed the most important sci fi film of it's generation, so I have to go in open minded to this...
  15. General Movie (Film for snobs) News Thread

    Trailer for Soldado. Looks tremendous and love that they kept the fans happy with elements resembling the score from Sicario.
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