Accident Prone

A thread for your stories of severe embarrassment that made you want the Earth below your feet to open up and swallow you whole, recent or otherwise. Inspired by what happened to me today.

I accidently smashed a bottle of wine whilst stocking up the cupboards this afternoon after the Saturday big shop. I was trying to save time by stacking the new stuff around the old stuff, instead of taking the time to fit it all into a usable system, and ended up squeezing too much onto one shelf, causing a bottle of jammy red to fall to the kitchen floor and smash into smithereens.

After much sweeping and mopping, I drove to a nearby ASDA to replace it, stood in the self-checkout queue with the new bottle, and watched in slow motion as the bottle just slipped out of my hand and smashed into smithereens on the shop floor. A few "Waheeys!!!" could be heard as I blistered red with embarrassment, and an ASDA employee put his hand on my shoulder and whispered, "Don't worry mate, happens to everyone".

On 3/19/2024 at 9:58 PM, DavidB6937 said:

WWE2k23

Got it on the cheap now the new one is out. Haven't bought one in a good 4-5 years so thought I'd give it a chance.

Actually pleasantly surprised. General presentation is really good. A few ridiculous glitches still but doesn't feel nearly as much of a slog as some previous games and doesn't look terrible either. Well apart from the faces and teeth freaking me out on cut scenes.

Helps that I've got it on my Steamdeck so I can just dip in and out whenever. Just working through My Rise at the moment but yeah definitely the most solid all round WWE game I've played in ages. I'll definitely pick the next one up once that goes cheap too.

This has piqued my interest in getting 2K23 on the cheap. I always assumed that WWE games ran like ass on the deck but your review had me check out the protondb reviews, and it's all positive for the most part. I gave up on the WWE games a decade ago when they introduced some mechanics that didn't really gel with me, and I wasn't a fan of being forced to buy all the DLC just to keep up with the Community Creations, but I'm ready to give them a second chance after ten years of largely ignoring/laughing at them. On the wishlist it goes!

On a related note, some bigger boys put a load of older wrestling games on my deck, and I've been having a blast with the Holy Trilogy of WWE Games (Shut Your Mouth, Here Comes The Pain, Smackdown Vs Raw) and all play beautifully and can be upscaled by 4. 

8 hours ago, The Gaffer said:

Still gives me the willies! It's that 4chan "Nya nya nya nya nyah you're annoyed!" thing my hard baked reaction to is to just be irked by. 

Yep, 4chan is a pretty apt comparison...

3 hours ago, Frankie Crisp said:

Most Tired UKFF gag

We finally draw a line at Tony Sniff jokes. As per the rules of this award, future references of this may result in banishment and sadly you won't be told by Clauidia Winkleman.

I can't believe this could potentially be the end of the Dads. A truly dark day in this forum's history.

Just a cheeky little bump as these auctions end tonight. Thanks for all your interest!

Time for another clearout in the AP household! If you have any questions about the auctions, just let me know!

https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/neronomy

3DS:

Majora's Mask

Pokémon Moon

Animal Crossing: New Leaf

Ravenhearst

Return To Ravenhearst

LEGO Harry Potter 

Dead Or Alive: Dimensions

DS:

Mario Kart

Alice In Wonderland

Professor Layton and the Curious Village

Mystery Case Files: MillionHeir

Blu-ray:

Ashens And The Quest For The Game child

DVDs:

Dragon Ball season 4

Dragon Ball Z season 5

Official ROH Compilation DVDs:

Creating Excellence

Ring Of Hero (Chris Hero comp)

Descent Into Madness (Steen Vs Generico comp)

Year 6 (Best of 2007 comp)

Superkick Party vol 1 (Young Bucks comp)

Superkick Party vol 2 (Young Bucks comp)

3 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

What a shop that was!

Warms my cockles to see a Tempest love-in crop up here. Loved that place, I remember buying the first couple of Cursive records there and the guy serving me threw in a Crank Records sampler CD for free. I'll have to pop into Oasis sometime soon, but I'm never in the City center these days.

As an aside, my cheapo suitcase record player has bit the dust, and I'm gutted because now it means looking at a proper one that I cannot possibly afford.

Funny thing about Worlds End, is that I saw posts everywhere about the PPV card highlighting AEW's deep roster as they'd crafted a PPV card filled with "bangers" without any of The Elite (or CM Punk, for those still salty about that). AEW has always depended on those six wrestlers to push PPVs from being merely average to the realms of great-to-excellent, and Saturday was proof that the AEW talent pool isn't as deep or as well-utilised as it should be as what we got was a PPV that was marred with an undercard that jumped from dull (Miro vs Andrade, Strickland vs Dustin) to utterly shite (Toni vs Riho, Abadon vs Julia) to awkward as all hell (Sting's Squadron vs Callis Family).

I even felt like the main event was an extended squash with a weak finish, and the less said about that fucking post-match, the better. The opening 8-man tag, Eddie vs Mox and Cope vs Cage were the only highlights, but even they were fighting a crowd who appeared like, at some points, that they'd rather be anywhere but an AEW PPV.

If anything, you could always depend on AEW to deliver an excellent PPV, no matter what bullshit or internal strife was going on, and so I hope this one is the exception to the rule. 

40 Year Old Virgin blew me away when I first saw it in the mid-00s. I had never before seen a comedy before that relied so much on improv, quips and barbs, whilst also balancing itself with the sweetness of the main story as well as the chemistry between all the leads and bit players. The soundtrack, the throwaway gags, the one-liners, the weird ending, the set pieces, all of it works together to turn what could've either been a run-of-the-mill romcom or run-of-the-mill sexcom into a genuinely funny and touching story of one man's quest to tackle the gazelle.

And, despite some really problematic dips, it's still excellent.

1 hour ago, RedRooster said:

Broforce is only £2.55, and it’s great fun - particularly in co-op. It’s a fast-paced old school run ‘n’ gun game, and I loved it despite not having much nostalgia for that genre. 

Not a Hero is £3.35. It’s a bit of a weird one to explain as far as the plot goes, but gameplay wise it’s basically a 2D Hotline Miami. I played the absolute shit out of it when it first came out on the PS4, and at that price I’ll be playing the shit out of it again on my Steam Deck. It’s loads of fun.

Enslaved: Odyssey to the West is, to me, the very definition of an overlooked gem. It’s only £2.99 right now. The game is co-written by Alex Garland (the guy behind Ex Machina, Annihilation and Men) and as a result has a very strong story. I guess it’s essentially a hack ‘n’ slash game, although that description in itself does it a bit of a disservice. It’s also quite short, meaning it’s potentially a great ‘palate cleanser’ between some of the games you’ve already bought. It works great on the Deck, so you’ll have no issues there.

Excellent stuff! Dependable recommendations, as always. I've ditched Halo and Rogue Legacy 2, and opted for Enslaved after that great review. Along with the Orange Box, it pushed the total to £41. Well happy with that, should keep me busy for the rest of the year. Not A Hero has been added to my Steam wish list too, as I've got a softspot for Devolver Digital.

Got gifted 40 Steam Bucks as a late Xmas present from my sister-in-law today, and I'm over the moon. Looking at Steamdeck-able titles in the Winter sale, I've got Elden Ring, Doom, and Wolfenstein: The New Order in my basket right now with a few dollarbucks left over. I'm thinking of going a little over and grabbing either the Halo: MasterChef Collection or Rogue Legacy 2. I'm open to suggestions too if anybody has an under-the-radar essential game in the £3-£4 mark.

Either way, I'm well chuffed. God I love the Steam Deck, I feel like I've only scratched the surface with it.

56 minutes ago, Gus Mears said:

I passionate hate my Samsung TV. There's an issue on it which means MLB TV looks like you've dropped three tabs of acid and there's no fucking way to sort it out. So I have a Roku box solely to play the thing I've already paid for in shit quality. Rubbish.

Yep, me too!

My old telly was a 32 inch basic LG TV that I bought in the late 00's from Spud in Currys or Comet or whatever it was in the Bullring at the time, that me and a mate then dragged and carried on a bus to my house in rough-as-fuck Hodge Hill. We hooked it up and played Saints Row 2 and Halo 3 before heading out, probably to some dingy emo dive under a rock in the outskirts of the city centre. That telly would go on to last me several house moves and was still working perfectly when I decided that 32-inches was too small for 2019's media.

So while I loved the 50-inch upgrade when I bought a new Samsung TV in 2019, I soon found that all the Samsung TV apps are crap for the most part. I had to plug in the same FireStick that my old LG used, whilst also taking up valuable HDMI real estate. That and the fact that my Xbox 360 just plugged in and played with no issues on the old TV, yet here I in my mid-30s fucking around before work with guides and settings and YouTube rabbit holes just to get a simple games peripheral working.

I'll definitely be doing more research into the best telly OS next time I decide that my TV is too small. I cannot believe we live in a time where we have to consider a TV's operating system before making an informed purchase. Philip K Dick didn't see this coming!

4 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

His latest one, he just goes out the house and heads North with a tenner is also worth a background watch. At this point its mostly about the scenery for me, and Tom is in fine form as he makes his way 70 miles from his gaff.

Maybe it's just his actual Geoguessr videos where he comes across as a bit of a twat, as I've quite enjoyed watching the last couple of mission ones.

Yeah he comes across as a nice bloke in his walking vids, but the few times I've watched his Geoguessr content I tend to cringe a little. I don't think he's a right-wing Brexit Tory UKIP toxic TopShop tyrant, but he reminds me of those guys that I get real pally with at weddings and I think "Ah, a new friend! Time to break out the social media and arrange some pints at a later date!" only for him to spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I'm not a racist but...".

I really enjoyed that Birmingham mission too. The part near the end where he pops up in a park after crawling out the HS2 site is actually right opposite my nan's house, and it hit me a bit because she passed away last year and it was just kinda nice to see the view from her living room window suddenly appear on a YouTube video.

My lovely wife got me the official Steam Dock for Christmas. I've got tons I want to do with this, mostly setting up my Steamdeck with various ports (like this tasty Zelda: Links Awakening port), game mods (mainly Fallout 3 but I'd like to have a go at getting some No Mercy mods working), and a more personally curated emulation set-up. It'll also be grand for when the house is empty and I can just play my indie games on the living room telly.

Speaking of which, fuck me was that a bastard to get working. I plugged the dock into my telly, set the Steamdeck on the dock, plugged in the power source and...nothing. The screen showed me a "Cannot find source" error message and it sent warning lights through my brain and heart and arse. What followed was 90 minutes of wading through endless troubleshooting posts on Reddit and the Steam forums.

My telly is a Samsung, is that a problem? Yes. Apparently Samsung TV's have all sorts of compatibility issues with the official Steamdeck Dock.

My dock is plugged into a power surge protector, is that a problem? Yes. Apparently the power surge protector means that the telly can't recognise certain signals correctly.

I have other games consoles hooked up to the TV, is that a problem? Yes. Apparently the TV is trying to find similar signals to connect to.

So I was fucking around with settings on my TV and game modes and setting the source to treat the dock as a PC and trying various variations on the "turn it off and on again" methodology, until a wild last-minute ride through YouTube led me to a 90 second video with 136 views and a man with all the camera control of an otter on a skateboard and the thickest southern accent this side of a confederate civil war, and he finally revealed the answer; just set your Steamdeck refresh rate to 60FPS and the TDP to max.

Boom. The fucker beamed onto my telly and I got to enjoy 5 minutes of Turnip Boy in glorious 50 inch colour before I had to go to work. I'll try it again tomorrow to see if that actually was the solution or if it was just a fluke, but by God I am excited to dig deeper into my deck now that I have access to a big screen and all those extra ports.

THE GOOD
Best Women's Wrestler - Athena - Everytime I've tuned into ROH PPVs she's knocked it out of the park.

Best Men's Wrestler - Jon Moxley - Dependable and consistent and works through almost everything.

Best Tag Team - Crap year for tag wrestling. I'll go for Jay White & Juice Robinson for dragging some great matches out of FTR.

Best British Wrestler - Will Ospreay - The best British wrestler of all time? Possibly. 

Best Non-wrestler - Prince Nana

Best Event - AEW Revolution- Hangman/Mox, Bryan/MJF, Elite/HoB are the peaks of a card that never dips below AEW's high PPV standard.

Best Wrestling Show - AEW Dynamite - Even though half of it has been shite, the other half was routinely good to great.

Best Feud or Angle - Mox vs Hangman - It annoyed all the right people, so that alone gets it a thumbs up.

Best Heel - Swerve Strickland

Best Babyface - Orange Cassidy

Best Podcast - GRAPPL Spotlight

Moment of the Year - Adam Page drinks Swerve's blood

Match of the Year - Adam Page vs Swerve Strickland, Full Gear

Breakout Star - Swerve Strickland
 
THE BAD
Biggest Letdown - CM Punk, The Elite, and Tony Khan refusing to be adults and doing what's best for business and for the fans.

Worst Wrestler - MJF - A pro wrestler of his stature, position and pedigree should've known better but he let it all go to his head and his worse instincts came out.

Worst Match - MJF vs Adam Cole, All In 2023 - Ah yes, a championship main event at Wembley based on friendship and hugs and Amateur Dramatics and a match layout that went against every single fiber of my being. 

Worst TV Show - AEW Dynamite - Even though half of it has been good to great., the other half was routinely shite. A massive fall from grace.

I hope Orchid's potential inclusion opens up the door for other classic screamo bands and some of the new guys in the scene like Massa Nera to come over. I've recently been getting back into that whole scene again (I never stopped listening to screamo, but I've been really digging and binging it lately), both old and new bands, and I wouldn't mind crossing Circle Takes The Square of my band bucket list. 

5 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

The Hotelier playing Home, Like No Place... in full. Fucking hell. 

Who can put me up?

 

THURSDAY DOING A 'WAR ALL THE TIME' + 'FULL COLLAPSE' MIX?!

YOU FUCKING WHAT , MATE!?

Joyce Manor, Hot Mulligan, Soccer Mommy, Touche Amore, TWIABPAIANLATD, Hotelier, I am defo fucking considering this. If that payment plan option is still active in January then I will 100% be there.

On 12/13/2023 at 10:33 PM, hallicks said:

@Accident Prone re: your list there. I read Dune (part 1? Book 1?) around 2 years ago. It’s exceptionally hard work, and whilst I enjoyed it in parts, I had absolutely no interest in reading any further. It was never one that I could really lose myself in because the prose is so arse backwards. Like he can’t just say, “and then Paul went for a shit,” it has to be, “looking vacantly at the side wall, decorated with art from the Bene Gesserit school on Planet Wankdorf, forwards movingly did Paul head in the direction of the Atreides bathroom, where a movement of the bowels was become upon him.” And it’s about 500 pages long and the text is dense as fuck, you can read for 5 minutes and your mind just wanders off because he’s still babbling on about some in-world historical bollocks that you could never possibly care about. The film was fairly alright, mind. 

Ah right, sounds like one to put aside for after I finish Infinite Jest then, as that book is very much in that vain. Perfect bedtime fodder.

5 hours ago, SaitoRyo said:

Good on you, @Accident Prone!

I'm sure you'll be able to manage 10 next year. I'd also recommend checking out the general fiction or 'classics' sections of charity/second-hand bookshops, where you'll no doubt find some gems. Older editions also typically have better covers and more character to them than brand new ones, in my opinion. 

Cheers! Yeah I'll be checking out the vast charity shop stretch on my local high street, armed with my Good Reads list to see what I can pick out before hitting Wordery and the like.

I've got 100 books in my 'Want To Read' list, which is a mix of fiction and non-fiction, but I've narrowed the eight fiction (along with 1984 and Animal Farm) down to the following:

- The Brothers Karamazov
- Giovanni's Room
- The Count of Monte Cristo
- The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway
- In a Lonely Place
- And Then There Were None
- Dune
- The Night of the Hunter

There's loads more on my list, but those are the ones I'll scanning charity shop book shelves for. I feel it'll be easier to pick titles out if I have that narrowed scope. Very true about charity shop books having more character too!

6 hours ago, SaitoRyo said:

I'm quite a big reader, though I've tended to go through inconsistent spells in recent years due to only having free time in the late evening because of kids and whatnot and thus being knackered when it comes time to actually open a book. 

I've been a bit better this year, probably averaging two or three a month (depending on length). At the minute I'm about a third of the way through Cruising Paradise, a short story collection by Sam Shepard. 

See I'd love to get to that point. That's my aim. I haven't set a target, but say, by the time I'm 40? So Four and a half years-ish? That's where I want to be. I also have a kid and whatnot, and when I get home it's dinner with the wife and kid and then putting the kid to bed and then the explosion of choice regarding TV or movies or video games or other projects, and I want the discipline to say to myself "No, read a fucking a book", despite how knackered and lazy I am.

On 1/17/2023 at 9:39 PM, Accident Prone said:

I've never been a fiction person when it comes to books. I prefer my first-hand autobiographies, essay collections, books that are simply an encyclopaedia of interesting thoughts and ideas, and books that are basically glorified top ten lists.

I turn 35 in April, and I've felt incredibly uncultured/dumb as a bag of hammers for a while now. Almost depressingly so (maybe one for the mental health thread, who knows?). Anyway, I've decided to make reading a priority this year when it comes to my downtime, and I used a £40 Christmas gift card and a £5 off coupon to grab some of the standards and classics, at least the ones that sound interesting. It's time to educate my dumb ass,

Bearing in mind that I've read next to fuck all for 35 years, here's the parcel of softbacks that should be arriving tomorrow:

- Infinite Jest

- Fahrenheit 451

- To Kill A Mocking Bird

- Of Mice And Men

- Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

- Catcher In The Rye

 

I am incredibly excited to dig in, but please tell me how terrible these choices are, haha!

 Well I fucking did it.

I  smashed the last few pages of Fahrenheit this morning. I'm in no position to critique or analyse any of these tomes as I am a newcomer and simple pleb when it comes reading, but I would rank the books as follows:

5. Fahrenheit 451

4. The Catcher In The Rye

3. Of Mice And Men

2. Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?

1. To Kill A Mocking Bird

I enjoyed Fahrenheit more when the shit hit the fan, but the journey there was a bit tiresome. Maybe on reinspection and reread, now I know the means to the end, I will enjoy it more.

I'm still slowly plowing my way through Infinite Jest as my bedtime book. I'm about 250 pages in, which is about 20% of the book. I've just finished the long chapter where we follow the radio host through a house party, which was riveting, but my favourite chapters are the one's following the trials and tribulations of the tennis academy. My other favourite chapters include the description of the rehab grounds, the druggie anxiously awaiting his fix, and the burglar who breaks into to an important political figure's house (I'm being as vague as possible so as to not go into spoiler territory). I can't say I'm a big fan of the extreme dialect chapters though. Those are a slog to get through.

I'll be aiming for 10 books next year. I've already been gifted copies of Animal Farm and 1984, so I'll need to select 8 more to fill the year out, which is what I'll do with any xmas vouchers. Here's to more education and making up for lost time!

45 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

I will give this a go, but that is an atrocious album title and they should be ashamed.

Sir, this is screamo. If the song titles and album names aren't absurd and/or pretentious, then there's something wrong.

If you're into your Screamo/Post-hardcore/Metalcore, then the new Dreamwell album, 'In My Saddest Dreams, I Am Beside You', is going to knock your fucking socks off. Highly recommended.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl90_BpgY9g

16 hours ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

 

Excuse me for including the fat tongued wanker in this clip, but to the surprise of virtually no one McConaughey is obviously a big fan. No-one would expect Skandar Akbar to be name checked on Graham Norton. 

Fucking hell, Jamie Oliver is such an unabashed, flag-shagging, pandering wanker.

"Yeah we had Big Daddy! And the GIANT HAYSTACK!"

What an utter twat. A Celebrity Twat, as it were.

I own one of those cheapo suitcase record players, so my vinyl collection reflects the quality of the playback machine in that it consists entirely of compilations from the 70s to the early 90s. Mostly anthems, ballads, yacht rock, with a few other twists and genres thrown in for variety, and all bought from charity shops and car boots. I must own at least 50 of the fuckers, and they all sound terrible. It's fucking amazing.