Report What's the worst date you've ever been on? in Off-Topic Gold Posted November 10, 2010 I've had a few crackers haha. One I mentioned on here before, but will retype anyway. A few years ago I met some girl off the internet who seemed pleasant enough, but when I met her to go to hers she was an absolute Jeremy Kyle style pikey! She had grotty stale make up and was just odd, but I reluctantly agreed to go to with her as not to be rude. However her house was an absolute shit tip! Her parents would give Onslow and Daisy a run for their money, proper slobs in filthy clothes, and there was grime and muck everywhere. The house wasn't even decorated, filthy floor boards and dirty plates just stacked. Absolute rotten, like the type of house on 'A Life of Grime', no word of a lie. I was freaking, but she took me upstairs and there were actual fleas crawling on her bed! So I said I needed the bathroom to give me a moment to think how to escape. But there was literal SHIT up the walls. How does that even happen?! So I just thought fuck it, I need to go. And apologised and said I had to leave, and rushed downstairs. She then tried giving me a kiss goodbye, but I declined, then ran all the way home. I showered and showered and showered and still couldn't feel clean!! Rough as fuck! I've never met a girl off the net since! Another time I got texting some girl who worked in New Look whos number I blagged from a friend and arranged to meet her after her shift after a fair bit of nice texting. However she no-showed and I waited 50 minutes after no texts or calls back before leaving. Never did hear from her again. Random. This last one is quality, but the end will only be truely funny if you are aware of who the person is, I will give it a shot, no doubt anyone familiar with him will find it highly amusing. Anyway, I was sat in Bath Abby after an amazing day out date with a girl just relaxing and thinking how well it was going, when an arm grabbed me in a sleeper hold. I didn't recognise this person (abv cos they had me from behind) but they smelt a bit and I noticed a wrinkly old hand. And I started to think fuck who's this? And asked but they wouldn't reply, and the girl started freaking out and looked terrified, as I then thought it was a tramp! The girl then curled up at the end of the bench petrified while I didn't know what to do to remain calm. Then the person let go after what seemed like forever and it was none other than UK wrestling superfan MAD ELI! He knew me from about but was extremely ott for him to get me in a sleeper haha. I was like "what the fuck were you doing?!" but he just gabbled on nonsense about wrestling and goodness knows what as the girl still looked on like wtf. I hadn't explained my interest in wrestling to her and she was baffled that it wasn't a close relative or anyone I really knew as I tried explaining the situation while still flustered. Needless to say thanks to British Wrestling's badge headed embassador she was too freaked out by the crazy episode and we never met again.