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Glenryck Pilchards

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Posts posted by Glenryck Pilchards

  1. I managed to avoid the whole shit-show by attending Oasis at The Etihad Stadium. The start of their set was delayed by over an hour because the safety barrier broke by a surge of people and they couldn't play until it was fixed. As a novice weed smoker, I had a bit too much of a 2 foot spliff and I was getting a bit drowsy with all of the waiting around. 

    I decided to have a sit down in the stand and I dozed off. I woke up during the encore. 

  2. Back in 2002 I was touring a local college as a potential venue for my sixth form education.

    I walked round a corner and there was a lovely young couple where the male said to female " 'Ere! Can I Twang yer bra?"

    That question has been etched into my brain ever since 

  3. It turns out that Dominic Cummings jointly owns his parents farm, so it is his second home.

     https://amp.theguardian.com/politics/2019/aug/10/dominic-cummings-owns-farm-got-eu-subsidy?__twitter_impression=true&fbclid=IwAR24kkzzZ1aJR1wbB75wFkov_cIduVRisKcvq2AWwKFJazj5STHOEidNuy8

     

    The staunch Brexiteer has also received over 200,000 Euros in farming subsidies from the European Union. 

    https://farmsubsidy.org/search/?q=+P+C+%26+N+M+%26+R+A+CUMMINGS

    And on further inspection there is this little snippet from Google - the farm's postcode is DH1 3SU it is a residential postcode in Cock o the North, County Durham.

     

    You really couldn't make it up. 

     

     

     

  4. 1 hour ago, Mr_Danger said:

    This is very Seinfeld/CYE but in work we have a (female) cleaner who stays/comes in to the toilets to clean whilst we’re using them. I’m not sure this is standard practice and she even asked me if I wanted her to whistle whilst I went once. Some utter deviants even use the urinals in front of her. I’m no prude but even by our toilet standards this is fucking odd isn’t it?

    Depends how big the toilet is. If it is like a service station let her crack on, If it is a single toilet then I think it is crossing personal boundaries. 

  5. It is a beautiful day today so I have the window wide open, listening to the wonderful birdsong floating in the air; Apart from one little cunt who is mimicking the beeps of the Tyre Air machine at the local petrol station, it is doing my tits in. 

  6. There is always a need for some technical advice on here, so I thought this would be a useful thread. 

    I need help with Excel. I am currently looking after a shared document on SharePoint where my colleagues are inputting information everyday, but the tabs keep getting moved about and throwing them out of order. Is there a way of locking the tabs on the spreadsheet so it stays in order?

     

     

  7. After playing a couple of online quizzes over the last couple of days I feel that the best solution is as follows. 

    I will ask the questions via a video conferencing program and you have the option to be either on video, audio only or text only in the conference call. 

    The quiz format will be a buzzer quiz. To buzz to answer you would just need to enter any text in the chat box in the conference call. If you are video or audio enabled I will ask you for your answer, if you are text only I will ask you to type your answer. Typists will only have 10 seconds to answer, unless it is a long answer and my discretion will be followed.  

    You will get two points for a correct answer and you will lose a point for an incorrect interruption. 

    Obviously it would be encouraged to have the video/audio enabled for better craic, but I understand that some people require to retain their anonymity hence this solution. 

    I will be looking at starting this from next wednesday, so sign-ups are available until this Friday. If we get a couple more signed up I will make a draw to split the players into two semi finals and I will PM all players with the invite to the conference call.  

  8. So not quite the uptake I was expecting. I suspect the audio/video might be putting people off participating, so I am looking at alternative options. 

    I am doing online quizzes with my friends tonight and tomorrow using different methods and if I can find a way of anonymity for the wider public, but identifiable for the people who are playing I will do that so hopefully @HarmonicGenerator will compete.

  9. ESPN8 was fictitious when in Dodgeball in 2004. In 2017 ESPN embraced it on a slow sports day and showed all kinds of weird sports like Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Challenge and the like. I would expect it to make a permanent slot in the schedules for the next couple of months.

  10. Yes, your eyes are not deciving you. The ressurection of Brain of the UKFF is amongst us, and it has taken a worldwide pandemic to instigate it to cure boredom whilst there is no sport on. 

    Instead of using Sporcle for a range of topics, we will be doing things a little differently this time round and effectively nicking the format of Brain of Britain off Radio 4 where there will be five rounds of questions. Each person will be asked up to 5 questions in a round, but if they get one wrong the question will be offered to the other constestants and then move on to the next contestant. 

    The plan is to use Skype or an alternative chat client, record it and post it on YouTube for the viewing pleasure of the UKFF Kingdom. If you are camera shy, don't worry I will hide you and put a funny image up relating to your username to represent you 

    If you are interested in taking part please post a message below and what days are best for you to take part and if your happy to have your mug on screen. 

    Will @Shy Dad retain his crown? Have a go and you can be crowned the Brain of the UKFF!

  11. 1 hour ago, tiger_rick said:

    They'll suspend the season. The pressure will be too great not to. It won't do much, honestly. This thing will spread through pubs, bars, restaurants, public transport, etc. But they'll need to be seen to do something and if it takes pressure off public services, then it's probably right. Football isn't important in the grand scheme of things.

    The spreading of the virus is not the issue for football or any other large events. It is the resources that are used up. Any event of over 15,000 people has to have a police and ambulance presence, which in the grand scheme of things is a waste.

  12. I used a free £5 bet with Paddy Power for £2.50 e/w on Barcadys and used half of the winnings on a double of Simply the Betts and Concertista which has put me massively in profit for the week. 

    I had a shocker on day 1 and 2 so it is quite welcome to boost my betting pot for the final day. 

  13. On 3/11/2020 at 5:37 AM, Uncle Zeb said:

    Anyone know if 55-year-old Johnson has any pre-existing health conditions? Wondering how hard I need to be crossing my fingers here.

    He is bound to be riddled with gout as well as syphillus, crabs and any other STI you can think of.

  14. Egghead quizzer Dave Rainford has sadly died. I have quizzed and drank with him on a few occasions and he was one of kind. The second time I met him he welcomed me like we were long lost mates and I was shocked he remembered my name. 

    He has been in poorly health for a while but this is still a shock. I shall be having a pint tonight in honour of him. RIP Dave.

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