Paid Members lambyUK Posted December 21, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted December 21, 2011 So, waking up for my birthday Monday morning I was given a thin envelope from my girlfriend for my birthday. I sat there thinking what could it be? HMV voucher? Next voucher? Maybe even a voucher for a massage at a push? But no, I open it revealing a voucher for One Colon Hydrotherapy treatment! At first I was laughing, then dread set in. Â Now, it's not like this was a present that was totally out of the blue. I've mentioned this in conversation to her in the past as a thing that I would perhaps be interested in but never got around to doing it. It's basically a health thing why I've mentioned it in the past after reading reports on it and how it helps with stomach issues, weight loss (I'm not overweight for the record), mental clarity etc etc and it's sort of came from the issues my Mum has had with her stomach/digestive system. Â Basically, I'm asking has anyone had this type of treatment before or know anyone who has had it done? How was it etc and how did you feel during it and afterwards? Â Simply put, i'm not looking forward to having a pipe lodged up my arse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted December 21, 2011 Moderators Share Posted December 21, 2011 Well at least this is one time you won't shit yourself on the bus home. Â Zing! Â Â I would totally get this done. I imagine it's the rectal equivalent of that awesome feeling when you get a clean and polish at the dentist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patiirc Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Least you cant say you'll be full of shit if you go ahead with it  Seriously though, ive heard mixed reports, some swear by it, you meet some odd types at rehab/pain clinic. Others say they couldnt really notice much of a difference other that they didnt feel bloated.  I guess its down to what you want to get out of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members lambyUK Posted December 21, 2011 Author Paid Members Share Posted December 21, 2011 Well at least this is one time you won't shit yourself on the bus home. Zing!   I would totally get this done. I imagine it's the rectal equivalent of that awesome feeling when you get a clean and polish at the dentist.  Unfortunately it was pissing myself, not shitting! Now that would have been bad.   patdfb, haha, I've had all the jokes from lads I play football along the lines of "you talk so much shite it was inevitable" etc etc.  But, yeah it's various reasons. Constantly feeling bloated and for general well being really. My problem is I eat too much bread which is my resolution for the new year to significantly reduce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Halitosis Romantic Posted December 21, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted December 21, 2011 I've had it done. Chest is right - you come out feeling awesome, like you're a new person. If it wasn't so expensive, I would go for the whole 6-10 treatment package if it wasn't quite steep, and I'm sure one day I'll have the money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Joe Joe Jr Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Makes me think of the Penn and Teller episode about this. Â If you have a voucher for it, might as well go for it for the experience and I don't think there are many risks. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Off course you have to post pics here after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Halitosis Romantic Posted December 21, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted December 21, 2011 One word of advice - don't look at the pipe. Never look at the pipe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Dead Mike Posted December 21, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted December 21, 2011 I'd be chuffed with that, as others have said I'd totally have this done but it's the expense that's put me off. A mate had it done at a place in Chester & whilst it was happening the woman was making small talk with him, such as 'Oooh, you like red meat don't you?'...'Where do you go in Nantwich for a good steak?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members lambyUK Posted December 21, 2011 Author Paid Members Share Posted December 21, 2011 I'd be chuffed with that, as others have said I'd totally have this done but it's the expense that's put me off. A mate had it done at a place in Chester & whilst it was happening the woman was making small talk with him, such as 'Oooh, you like red meat don't you?'...'Where do you go in Nantwich for a good steak?' Â That's brilliant. I wholeheartedly expect to look down finding a Han solo figure and a few Lego bricks from my childhood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Halitosis Romantic Posted December 21, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted December 21, 2011 I'd be chuffed with that, as others have said I'd totally have this done but it's the expense that's put me off. A mate had it done at a place in Chester & whilst it was happening the woman was making small talk with him, such as 'Oooh, you like red meat don't you?'...'Where do you go in Nantwich for a good steak?' Â That's brilliant. I wholeheartedly expect to look down finding a Han solo figure and a few Lego bricks from my childhood. Â I was briefly tempted at one point to go on a colonic holiday, to Thailand - lots of colonics, healthy living, and wheatgrass and whatnot. The reporter in the Guardian that did it finally passed a marble he'd swallowed in his childhood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted December 21, 2011 Moderators Share Posted December 21, 2011 I can well imagine it'd be real "spring in your step" stuff when you're finished, but every year I've gotta go for a rectal exam because my dad had Bowel Cancer and apparently it's hereditary and better safe than sorry and all that and it really, REALLY, fucking smarts when he shoves his gloved finger up there and has a mess about. Would the extreme pain, and strange feeling of water in the guts outweigh the benefits? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Halitosis Romantic Posted December 21, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted December 21, 2011 The pain lasts, I would say, about 3 seconds - I won't say it doesn't feel weird in there, but it's just a little uncomfortable. And the water? It's warm, and feels pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maytrix Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Any doctor will tell you that your colon is self-cleansing, and that there is absolutely no evidence to support that these procedures are of any benefit. Just eat plenty of fruit and veg and make sure you get enough fibre, your colon will do the rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Halitosis Romantic Posted December 21, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted December 21, 2011 Listen, if my bilious levels are off, I'll become melancholy, and I don't want that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Your Fight Site Posted December 21, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted December 21, 2011 The human race survived millennia without spraying water up their arse holes. Therefore, a colonic irrigation isn't number one on my Christmas wish list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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