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CracktonMoj

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I think he posts on here as Pete The Treat.

Is 'Pete the Treat' not Hubert of PTW/UCW fame? I only say it because that's his MySpace name...
If that is the case it more than likely is, I knew it was someone from UCW and from the way it was written I guessed Gangster. Obviously I guessed wrong. I know he used to post under UCW PROMOTER, I just heard he still posts under here under an alias. I echo Lister's suggestion/question too btw.
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25 - Wheeler

 

Random mask, pleather, HIGHSPOTS BELT, tiny... yeah it's another flippy geek who doesn't know how to work, and instead does MOVEZ. Kills himself in front of thirty people. Enters the ring to random WWE themes or random metal. Uses WWE finishers as transitions because that's the only way he can get over. Wears CM Punk's gear but in pleather, also a vest to hide his terrible body. Rotten on every level.

Edited by CracktonMoj
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24 - Matt Mensa

 

Bland, bland bland bland bland, with a side of bland, with bland sauce. People like Matt Mensa mystify me - why put the effort into learning how to wrestle when you've clearly put no thought into anything else about BEING A WRESTLER? He has matches that start off slow and boring, and you think 'oh, that's OK, it'll kick into high gear and suddenly it'll all make sense, lots of good matches are like this, Bret Hart was like that numerous times, and he's awesome'. But then the heavy artillery gets brought and you go 'meh', and near falls happen and you think 'hmm', and then the match ends somehow and you're like 'That's it, then?' Pointless.

Edited by CracktonMoj
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I'd like to take the chance to point out that on the conclusion of this list (on Sunday), Dean Ayass and myself will be welcoming MOJ onto a special SHITARSE WRAP-UP edition of the $&M Show early next week where we'll countdown the list, offering stories as we go. It will be grand stuff~!

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23 - Surf Digby

 

Firstly - as far as I'm concerned, that picture is GREAT. Hand on heart, no sarcasm GREAT. Look at that face. However, discounting that... shit name, shit performance, and he does nothing interesting or likable to make anyone care ever. I sincerely considered using the UKFF logo as his picture, because that seems to be where he trains. Always tries stuff that is way beyond him or that he can do but badly. To give an example, he misses planchas with such astonishing regularity that it's feasable he may be doing it on purpose as an 'innovative spot'. Moreover, his ring attire comprises the entire back catalogue of H&M's

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QUOTE(sstevens619 @ Jul 23 2008, 12:47) Rainz : GNPJust to point out, Rainz doesn't own the promotion, but he does book it. (Would be strange him owning Gerry Norton Promotions after all).

And also to add Rainz has and is currently working for promotions such as DPW, NWL, 3CW, SSW, NGW, NBW plus others, I have been to loads of shows and seen him wrestle there.Mike Castle is right GNP does indeed stand for Gerry Norton Promotions.
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Bland, bland bland bland bland, with a side of bland, with bland sauce. People like Matt Mensa mystify me - why put the effort into learning how to wrestle when you've clearly put no thought into anything else about BEING A WRESTLER? He has matches that start off slow and boring, and you think 'oh, that's OK, it'll kick into high gear and suddenly it'll all make sense, lots of good matches are like this, Bret Hart was like that numerous times, and he's awesome'. But then the heavy artillery gets brought and you go 'meh', and near falls happen and you think 'hmm', and then the match ends somehow and you're like 'That's it, then?' Pointless.

Those comments seem far too fair for this list.
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22 - Gangster

 

Massive, massive Trowbridge-based shitarse who runs UCW. Complete rip-off of Stone Cold, and can't even do that properly. His entrance music is an edited version of Austin's theme - complete with TAPE CLICKING SOUNDS where the edits happen. Can't crowd-work, can't sell, can't even hit his own finisher (a stunner) properly, doesn't even sound like a gangster unless a gangster's a turnip-and-manure-munching, horse-shit-for-brains bumpkin yokel. Actually gets his mum and dad to commentate live on shows, and they're equally moronic - the mum interrupts her commentating in the middle of a match to chat with her neighbours - and this gets on to DVD! Wears his title belt to Sainsburys, where he stands in the magazine section reading the wrestling magazines, in the hope that someone'll come up to him and ask 'Are you a wrestler?'. He once had a three-way with Raven and CM Punk. It was shit. A few years ago, organised a sponsored bed-push and a jumble sale in order to book Mick Foley - although it was in fact billed as a charity thing. Once had a match with American All Star and a man named Rampage that just completely defies description as how bad it was. It may turn up on SHITARSE TV soon, who knows.

 

UCW's roster, meanwhile, comprises midgets, shitarses, children, more shitarses, people who are deaf, additional shitarses and Dave Moralez managed by Gilligan Gordon, who stick out like an oasis of competence amongst the complete desert of talentlessness that is the regular roster. The occasional talented wrestler they unearth tend to find themselves booked in long, drawn out, wretched multi man bouts on the undercard, which are hard to do if you're an accomplished wrestler, never mind a first year rookie. One of those bouts got buried by Mick Foley during his promo with these words: 'After that long, boring, drawn out match... it's time for a long, drawn out, MICK FOLEY PROMO :thumbsup: '. Christ, using Foley's name in this entry makes me feel dirty.

 

Anyway, to summarise, Gangster has no clue, at all. None. None whatsoever. And therefore earns the title of Shitarse Deluxe.

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21 - Carnage

 

Cool name, yes? That's about as far as it goes. Balding, pasty, fat man in a beard and a blue singlet, who for some inexplicable reason was AWW champion for over a year. Actually not too bad at the basics sometimes, but just has no charisma at all. Wrestling in street clothes and walking out to a Disturbed song don't help. He then does a generic Raven arms-out pose, with his toothless mouth hanging open like he's brain dead. Gets mostly laughs from the kids, meaning nobody takes him seriously as a threat, meaning nobody gets emotionally invested in the babyface, meaning the match is played out in front of utter silence. Then when he's a babyface... he does EXACTLY THE SAME THING. EXACTLY. Once, when wrestling face, was so inept that HEEL ROCKSTAR SPUD got over as a face against him. Also fancies himself as a bit of a brawler, but doesn't do anything remotely shocking or even interesting in hardcore matches. Has very very basic talent, but does so much to compromise the tiny amount of talent he does have.

Edited by CracktonMoj
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BONUS SHITARSE TIME

 

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STAXX

 

This man did not make the list. However, he's getting a writeup. Why? Because he's a LITERAL SHITARSE. Yes, Staxx shat himself in the ring once. He was wearing white gear. It stained the mat. And it was the opener, meaning everyone else on the card had to roll around in it. I have no clue if he's any good or what, (although he did gain some votes) but come on people, HE ACTUALLY SHAT HIMSELF IN THE RING, so he's being mentioned here. Also, he annually makes his own UK50 on talkwrestling forums which he mods and usually places himself around tenth - and Doug Williams top. Yeah.

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I havent heard of any of todays entrants till just now.

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  • 2 weeks later...

For days we have waited... For days we have wondered... For days we have felt the hunger to know more shit arse's!

 

But fear not ladies and gentlemen, Because That Day Is Today!

 

Come on Moj, hit us asap buddy! :thumbsup:

Edited by Jesus333
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