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50 Shades of UKFF: an Erotica Competition


HarmonicGenerator

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Terri Runnles stepped onto the tour bus. From the outside it was just like any other bus, but on the inside it was a beautiful boudoir, decorated with a huge rang of sex toys and wrestling memorabilia. Her eyes instantly latched on to the shelf of golden dildos, in the middle of which was what appeared to be Zac Gowen's fake leg. Like everything else in the room, it had been ribbed and sprayed gold.

 

She turned and looked at Goldust. At first she thought he was in full wrestling gear before realizing it had been painted on. Without a word she slipped off her dress and edged back to the bed.

 

He reached into his anus and pulled out a black permanent marker. Leaning over Terri he stared into her eyes as he proceeded to draw a thin mustache across her top lip. As she readjusted his wig to its new position, he felt the sweat dripping from his forelocks. Intoxicating. The foreplay wasn't over, under the pillow was Cody's protective face mask. As soon as Terri put it on, Goldust felt his penis go stiffer than a Ring of Honor match.

 

She closed her eyes as she felt Goldust's hand dance around her stomach, slowly moving to her inner thighs. Without warning she felt his entire fist rammed inside her, luckily she was ready. He fucked her Snuka so Savagely, it felt Perfect and made her Hart Race.

 

"Come on Cody, scream for me! Scream like you do for Sandow!" The sensation was too overwhelming, she couldn't even hear her instructions.

 

As she came she felt warm liquid ooze down her legs and soak the sheets... Something wasn't right...

 

Terri pushed Goldust away and looked down with horror. It looked like Slick Ric had gone down on her after blading.

 

"What have you done to me?" she said as she reached down between her legs. Tentatively putting her fingers inside herself, she pulled out the remains of a rat, held together with a combination of its own blood and both of their cum.

 

"You've killed Misty..."

 

"No. She was already dead" he replied as he went down to taste the remains on her dripping cunt.

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Terri Runnles stepped onto the tour bus. From the outside it was just like any other bus, but on the inside it was a beautiful boudoir, decorated with a huge rang of sex toys and wrestling memorabilia. Her eyes instantly latched on to the shelf of golden dildos, in the middle of which was what appeared to be Zac Gowen's fake leg. Like everything else in the room, it had been ribbed and sprayed gold.

 

She turned and looked at Goldust. At first she thought he was in full wrestling gear before realizing it had been painted on. Without a word she slipped off her dress and edged back to the bed.

 

He reached into his anus and pulled out a black permanent marker. Leaning over Terri he stared into her eyes as he proceeded to draw a thin mustache across her top lip. As she readjusted his wig to its new position, he felt the sweat dripping from his forelocks. Intoxicating. The foreplay wasn't over, under the pillow was Cody's protective face mask. As soon as Terri put it on, Goldust felt his penis go stiffer than a Ring of Honor match.

 

She closed her eyes as she felt Goldust's hand dance around her stomach, slowly moving to her inner thighs. Without warning she felt his entire fist rammed inside her, luckily she was ready. He fucked her Snuka so Savagely, it felt Perfect and made her Hart Race.

 

"Come on Cody, scream for me! Scream like you do for Sandow!" The sensation was too overwhelming, she couldn't even hear her instructions.

 

As she came she felt warm liquid ooze down her legs and soak the sheets... Something wasn't right...

 

Terri pushed Goldust away and looked down with horror. It looked like Slick Ric had gone down on her after blading.

 

"What have you done to me?" she said as she reached down between her legs. Tentatively putting her fingers inside herself, she pulled out the remains of a rat, held together with a combination of its own blood and both of their cum.

 

"You've killed Misty..."

 

"No. She was already dead" he replied as he went down to taste the remains on her dripping cunt.

 

I'm a man who appreciates innuendo and humourous raunch, but that's just unoriginal and borderline creepy, sir. Like, I'm not being crass but I can actually picture a heavily tattooed gent smearing peanut butter on his crown and having a jack russell lick it off as he was writing that.

My vote is to Houchey! Absolute fuckin blinder!!!

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'SWEET JESUS, SHE HAS A PENIS'

 

********************************************************************************

******

Henry stretched out on the sofa, wearing only his wrestling boots and knee pads(his singlet long since discarded somewhere on his dressing room floor) and let out a low growl of pleasure as Sammy the tranny set to work on suckling his 10-inch Love-Length.

"Ah fuck, for a chick with a dick you sure give good head" he moaned and let out another growl as she started bobbing her head slowly up and down on his throbbing cock, cradling his balls in one hand and using the other to stroke her pert, erect nipples.

He grabbed a handful of her hair and held her head firmly in place as he started thrusting his hips upwards forcing her to take more and more of his length into her mouth and soon her throat, she gagged a little but relaxed her throat muscles enough to allow a good 8-inches of his hard cock to fit into her mouth. She moaned loudly sending vibrations all the way down his shaft and he loosened his grip to allow her to pull back and use her tounge on the head of his cock, licking it all over and tasting his salty pre-come as it dribbled out of the tip.

 

Niether of them had noticed D'Lo Brown enter the dressing room, neither did they notice him pull off his singlet and start stroking his own pulsing cock which had immediately become stiffer than a Dynamite Kid forearm at the sight of his friend being expertly sucked-off, neither did they notice him picking up Henry's singlet and start sniffing the crotch as he pumped his meaty manhood and listened to the sounds of Mark moaning and growling as he continued to face fuck Sammy.

'"You're lookin' at the real deal now!" D'Lo yelled at the direction of the sofa, shaking his head and shoulders and spraying pre-ejaculate all over Mark's singlet, Mark's head immediately snapped round and he took in the vision before him of D'Lo furiously fist pumping his cock and shaking his head like some kind of demented bobble-head figure... He wanted him.

"Hey man no spectators, you're either in or you're out" he yelled as D'Lo realized he'd given himself away and was now looking more worried than Justin Credible cashing one of Paul E's cheques

"I'm in bro" he said nervously as he made his way over to the sofa and placed his length in front of Mark's face.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!" yelled Henry as he batted D'Lo's dick away from his face causing him to wince a little in agony

"I thought you might wanna go down on the Brown" he gasped

"Hell no i'm Mark fucking Henry, i aint sucking no man's dick."

"What the fuck am i supposed to do then" he replied almost exasperated as his dick was now throbbing dangerously and almost begging to be touched

"Get on all fours bitch" he ordered. Sammy pulled herself off Henry's dripping wet cock and did as she was told.

"Not you bitch, him" Henry yelled getting more angry, he was going to make D'Lo pay for this, friend or not he was going to make sure he was walking worse than Brian Christopher after a shower with Bradshaw and Bob Holly when he was through with him.

 

D'Lo did as he was told getting down on his hands and knees as Henry roughly grabbed his firm ass cheeks, spreading them apart to have a look at D'Lo tight, quivering asshole. Henry couldn't wait any longer, he wasn't going to fuck around with lube or stretching.

"Oh somebody's gonna get their ass split!" roared Henry as he shoved his mammoth love-truncheon deep into D'Lo's ass burying all 10 inches to the hilt, his heavy balls slapping against his ass as he immediately pulled out and slammed back in twice as hard.

"FUCK! Slow down man that hurts" moaned D'Lo as his asshole instinctively flexed around the massive shaft that was moving deep within him.

"Shut the fuck up bitch and take it, you're gonna enjoy being fucked like this, you'll be begging for more you slut" He waved Sammy over and motioned for her to get in front of D'Lo's face and spread her ass cheeks.

"Go on man, eat her asshole" hissed Mark with another painful thrust into D'Lo and D'Lo not really feeling like he had a choice but didn't want to risk getting an even harder pounding from him began to start tounging the hole in front of him. First he swirled his tongue around the tight muscle, gathering spit on it and smothering her hole with it, then he inserted his tongue into her and Sammy cried out in ecstasy. D'Lo fucked her with his tongue to a smorgasborg of moans and screams of joy. D'Lo grabbed her dick and started to pump it, he continued to tongue-fuck and pump her until she came, screaming his name and spraying the dressing room floor with hot, white spunk.

 

"Good man but i'm not done with you yet" Henry grunted with another thrust and pulled D'Lo up onto his knees and wrenched his arms up into a full-nelson hold, Sammy started backing her ass up until D'Lo's stiff manhood was in her asshole but he didn't have time to enjoy it as Henry started roughly thrusting his hips again, pounding D'Lo even harder who began thrusting into Sammy almost on reflex like they were in some kind of fucked up version of the Soul Train Line.

D'Lo could feel himself getting close, the combination of Henry's monster meat-rocket pounding against his prostate and Sammy's surprisingly tight asshole gripping his cock he knew he wasn't going to last much longer so he started trying to move his hips as fast as he could, his balls slapping against skin and then they drew up and tightened as he shot his load deep inside Sammy's ass as it clamped down on his cock, she clenched so hard he thought she was going to tear the damn thing off.

Then she relaxed enough for him to pull his dick out and as he did his jizz started dripping out onto the floor but before he could take a breather he felt another sharp thrust and and a pair of arms forcing him to bend over so he was almost at a ninty degree angle yet he was still held in the future masterlock so he couldn't do a thing to stop it.

"I said i wasn't done with you yet" Henry shouting increasing the speed and power of his thrusts by tenfold as D'Lo screamed for mercy and begged him to stop or at least slow down so he could enjoy it.

"Admit it, you like it, don't you? Ya little bitch! I'm Mark Fucking Henry! This is what i do!" he sped up again his hips pumping so fast it they were almost a blur, eventually after three more long violent thrusts he buried his love-length deep into D'lo's now aching asshole and roared animalistically, erupting like a sexual volcano shooting his creamy load deep inside D'Lo's anus.

 

D'Lo panted as he felt Henry's cock being pulled out of his ass and his man-fat dribbling out and down his balls, as he glanced around the room his eyes glanced upon a clock on the wall and he realized he had to go.

"Shit dude i've gotta run, i've got a match with Droz in less than 5 minutes" he said scrambling to his feet and hastily pulling his gear back on. He turned to leave when he felt a sharp, stabbing pain somewhere deep inside that almost made him fall over.

"Fuck! What the hell did you do to me? I can barely walk, never mind work a match." he said still wincing in pain.

"That's funny cos i didn't hear you complaining" he replied laughing loudly

"Oh you better reconignise what you've done, i told you to slow the fuck down and now look at me. My asshole has been stretched like a rookie in the Hart dungeon"

"Relax bro you'll be fine, what's the worst that can happen?"

D'Lo lost for words simply shook his head, limped out of the dressing room and headed for the ring.

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"I've read the sexy letters in your magazine but I never thought anything like that would happen to me until one day in 2001. I was just a midcarder called Shane (or sometimes Gregory) Helms, I was at Jeff Hardy's trailer when a fire broke out, I couldn't get out but somehow the mix of smoke from the fire combined with the hundreds of different chemicals that Jeff had lying around affected me, I was given sexual superpowers - I now had a massive dick and every woman was desperate to fuck me... also the fire killed Jeff's dog"

 

STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING

By Steve 'Big' Knobs

Women couldn't resist Sugar Shane since the fire at Jeff's house, they never liked him before but now they were gagging for it 24/7, he'd used his new found raw attraction to fuck a few teenage fans after shows but now he had bigger prey to go and conquer, he decided to go all out and conceal his identity with a cool costume, no one would know he was previously a midcard cruiserweight, now he would be the Hurricane and he had his sights set on the snatches of the WWE Divas.

 

In the dressing room after a show one day Hurricane spoke to his friend Matt Hardy, "Matt, you're good with women, who do you think would be the hardest chick in the WWE to bone?" "Mighty Molly for sure," V1 said looking up dreamily from the cheeseburger he was scoffing, "I think she's a virgin". That's when Hurricane decided to put his new found mojo to the test by by finding the purest diva in the WWE and fucking her senseless. Hurricane stormed into Molly's locker room and said to her "How do you feel about coming back to my apartment byatch?" "I'd love to!" she replied with a wink.

 

 

Still wearing his mask and cape he drove Mighty Molly back to his place, his schlong was rock hard. He was paying as much attention to safety as someone getting Pat Patterson and Chris Benoit to babysit their twin sons, he had one hand on the steering wheel and the other down Molly's tights cupped over her mound, expertly fingering her as he sped home.

 

They burst into his apartment, after kicking a stoned Shannon Moore out of the flat Hurricane roughly tore Molly's clothes off, revealing her pale and soft yet strong body, he wasn't surprised to see she had a fairly hairy muff, she was standing coyly but he could see it in her eyes that she wanted him badly, she slowly removed his top and cape. "Leave the mask ON" he insisted, Molly smiled and started to peel down his lime green tights revealing his unfeasibly massive erection, Hurricane's libido was on fire as he pushed her over his bed, licking his lips he admired the big butt that had been the butt of Trish Stratus' jokes.

He shoved his face in her arse and started to lick her out from behind with all the slurping and enthusiasm of a hungry toothless Nigerian eating that new KFC with no bones. After feeling her cunt throb on his face as she came, he got to his knees and started to fuck her hard doggy style, his hands tightly on her hips as he rammed his hard cock in and out of her tight wet cunt, Molly could hardly take it, she was face down in the pillow moaning like Paul Bearer. There was a knock at the door and in walked Stacy Kiebler wearing her Super Stacy mask and nothing else, Hurricane pulled out and stopped in his tracks, she looked incredible. Without saying anything Super Stacy got down on her knees at his dick, Molly shuffled up next to her and they took turns licking his rigid shaft and sucking his helmet, kissing each other in between, Stacy deepthroated him, taking his love truncheon deep down her neck, meanwhile he pushed Molly's head further down his body til she was licking his balls, then his arsehole, she looked deep into the eye of the hurricane, and plunged with all her might, sticking her tongue between his butt cheeks, he felt a wave of ecstasy as he took a step back from the girls, he shouted "Stand back! there's a hurricane coming through" and blew his load like Kurt Angle's milk truck, shooting what seemed like gallons of jizz into their eager mouths. as they licked his spunk off each other's faces he smiled with satisfaction and thought to himself 'I've beaten The Rock and I just fucked Mighty Molly and Super Stacy, it's a good time to be the Hurricane'.

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Haha! You would get the superhero one, wouldn't you?!

 

Some of these are great. But there is a disproportionate amount of male rape in these fantasies that I'm not entirely comfortable with.

 

I agree, that's why instead of going for disgusting and weird I went for a classy "confessions of/letter to penthouse" style scenario

 

I was given the option to use Super Stacy OR S.H.I.T Rosey, I went with Stace obviously.

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'SHALL I?' by Clint Poundstone

 

Jetta was nervous, this could be the biggest night of her career so far. She'd never been to Hanley before & walking into the changing rooms of the Victoria Hall the aroma hit her like a forearm to the chest, a heady cocktail of musky pheromones, childhood dreams made true & Lynx Africa, she was eager to please and knew the men in this room held her dreams in their hands. Two men were stood in the corner, deep in conversation with the slighter of the two holding a clipboard and pen. She recognised Brian Dixon instantly 'Come here love, let me introduce you to Keith. He'll be taking good care of you tonight'. Keith Myatt looked her dead in the eye but her attention was drawn to his hand, slowly unzipped his camouflage combat trousers and reaching into his pants.

 

'Come here duck, why don't you show me what you know?'

 

Without a moments thought she dropped to her knees & was eyes to eye with his glistening manhood. She couldn't tell if the smell was from Keith's cock or the cheese & onion pasty he'd put down on the pasting table next to him. She quickly forced his throbbing gristle to the back of her throat as she fought back her gag reflex.

Brian was feverishly scribbling away on his clipboard, as Myatt held her head, thrusting it repeatedly into his groin counting '1-2-3-4

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"Shit dude i've gotta run, i've got a match with Droz in less than 5 minutes" he said scrambling to his feet and hastily pulling his gear back on. He turned to leave when he felt a sharp, stabbing pain somewhere deep inside that almost made him fall over.

"Fuck! What the hell did you do to me? I can barely walk, never mind work a match." he said still wincing in pain.

"That's funny cos i didn't hear you complaining" he replied laughing loudly

"Oh you better reconignise what you've done, i told you to slow the fuck down and now look at me. My asshole has been stretched like a rookie in the Hart dungeon"

"Relax bro you'll be fine, what's the worst that can happen?"

D'Lo lost for words simply shook his head, limped out of the dressing room and headed for the ring.

 

Just amazing

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The first results are in!

 

Yes, although five of the match-ups have only had one competitor post so far, and one has had neither (The Reverend vs. Surf), two of the match-ups have had BOTH their competitors post their entries! And since our judging panel are nothing if not efficient, I can announce the winners of those two contests, who will progress to the next round.

 

 

In the battle of insert_name_here vs. Keith Houchen, there could only be one winner.

 

i_n_h did very well with 'Sweet Jesus, She Has A Penis', but it would have taken something transcendent to surpass 'The Erotic Adventures of Scott Steiner', which one of our judges described as "the funniest thing I have ever read" in over a decade on the forum. I can't disagree, I legitimately fell off my chair laughing at 'Erotic Adventures'. So, with that said, the winner by unanimous decision, and going on to face the winner of Reverend vs. Surf....

 

KEITH HOUCHEN!

 

 

In the battle of Dead Mike vs. tattoos are gay, it was another landslide victory.

 

One of our judges described this contest as a "no brainer"; Dead Mike's was one of "my favourites of them all so far" (continued said judge) and an all-round superb entry, whereas tattoos are gay, in his quest to be seen as the most depraved individual on the forum, bravely gave us something best described as "uncomfortable" but also by one judge as "shit". Sorry. So, by another unanimous decision and set to face the winner of Shane O' Mac Version 2 vs. Forrest, the winner of this contest is...

 

DEAD MIKE!

 

 

I shall be in touch with both winners to inform them of their second round scenarios once their opponents have been decided.

 

As for those of you who haven't posted yet, get on it!

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