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  2. Wrestle island returns to Birkenhead youth club after a series of sell out shows in 2018 .
  3. Kaz Hayashi

    Old people say funny shit

    This one is more of a beautiful story with a couple of one liners. My grandparents at the point were both in their mid 70’s. My granded used to get Readers Digest and other magazines. He was addicted to buying shit from them, like those royal themed rare 1 of 1,0000000000 coins worth a quid, but priced at £9.99. My gran had sciatica and was having a particularly bad spell of it. Anyway, one of the papers he got came with a supplement section, in which featured his beloved troves of common as muck rarities, such as carriage clocks, with a picture of Big Ben engraved on it, you get the picture. Anyway, he saw something my gran might have liked and with the best of intentions ordered it for her. A few days later my dad had been out to do a bit of shopping for them and when he got back, he did a double take at this item stood upright on the table. He said: “Hey mum, so ehh, what’s all this about then?” Gran: “Ohh yes, well he’s (grandad) bought it for me to help massage my aches from sciatica.” Dad: “hmmm” Gran: “It’s not is it?” Dad: “....... no” Gran: “YOU SEE EDGAR, I BLOODY TOLD YOU, IT’S ONE OF THOSE BLOODY THINGS” Grandad: “What things” Gran: “THOSE BLOODY THINGS THAT THEY SHOVE UP THEM” (including a full on motion) Grandad: “DONT BE SO BLOODY STUPID” They bickered for a while, her angry and him denying to believe that such things even existed. Anyway, the stubborn bugger decided he was right, it was a simple massager. It was shaped like a penis, but he refused to acknowledge the fact. So he decided to head down to Timpsons in the old precinct. He approached the counter, pulled the cock shaped vibrator out of the bag and explained that he needed some batteries for it. Timpsons man: “Get the fuck out of my shop”. My Grandad, still 100% in belief that it was a simple tool to sooth sciatica, picked the vibrator up and angrily stomped down the street with it in his hand. In his fluster, he’d forgot to pick up the bag. He got home and explained what had happened to my gran and my dad. My dad told his brother Derek the story as part of his Christmas present (both in their 50’s). Obviously falling off his chair at the sheer audacity of it all, he decided to pop over to my grandads house, steam up the living room window with his breath and draw a big cock and balls. My Grandad admitted defeat, but couldn’t send it back, unless he went back to Timpsons to retrieve the bag as the receipt was inside. So they kept it in the garage.
  4. Today
  5. PunkStep

    What’s the best aquatic animal?

    If Jim Henson produced Eurotrash
  6. PunkStep

    Paul Hardcastle's Domestic Football 18/nuh nuh nuh 19

    Atleti are basically Chelsea's CEX, but with Spanish footballers rather than PS3 games.
  7. Yesterday
  8. neil is brill

    Did you have a go at the wrestling, then?

    I had a stab at the wrestling too. Must've been around 2002-2003. Started training with Brawl in Northampton. I was constantly getting into trouble, shitposting on their forum and all sorts. Unsurprisingly, I ended up having just one match there before "defecting" to the original EAW which was owned by two members of the shitarse 50, Special Agent and Samson. With EAW, not a lot changed. I was still shitposting, sometimes in gimmick, sometimes not. I had just 1 match there before Samson stole the ring, broke away and formed the mega shitarse promotion ACW with fellow shitarse 50 member, Bull Harley. I wrestled there, twice a month for 2 years. Capturing their Lightheavyweight Title 3 times. Before being dropped by them because I didn't want to wrestle for free. I avoided being on the shitarse 50 myself by not wrestling at all that year, or ever again for that matter. These days I just work an everymans job, whilst Samson is currently in prison for child sex offences. Met some cool people along the way, wrestled my first match against El Ligero, wrestled Ashton Brown too. Both were good enough to drag something out of me that resembled a wrestling match. Wrestling wasn't for me really, I'll leave it to the professionals.
  9. Chest Rockwell

    What’s the best aquatic animal?

    That looks like a muppet
  10. Keith Houchen

    Old people say funny shit

    My alky aunt has a history of coming out with mad shit, but that's mainly because she is a mental alky. Two safe ones are as follows. I think it was my dad's 50th or something and there was a few drinks in the pub he went every day and where my mum worked, but this was special because it was held in the lounge. Anyway, I couldn't make it as one of my favourite bands (I was a metalhead back then) was playing in Birmingham but I managed to get back for the lock in. During a lull in the conversation, said aunt asked "How was the gig, Kool Keith?" I said it was really good and enjoyed it immensely. She asked if they played the Christmas one even though it was late spring/early summer. I put it down to her being mental but she kept on about it, saying they must have played it as everyone knows it. I had no idea what she was on about but then I twigged. "Slayer, I went to see Slayer". Whenever I hear the "It's Chhhriiiiisssssssmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaass" bit to this day, I can hear Tom Araya screaming it in my head. Another time was a family reunion, everything was going really nicely and fun was had. I was talking to a cousin I hadn't met in the lobby and as we returned to the table, we caught the end of an anecdote from my aunt. My cousin and I stared at each other after we sat down and heard the line "And that's why they cremated her in Slough, because she had AIDS". After 10 or so seconds of silence I asked who got cremated in Slough because they had AIDS. In a slightly raised voice and tone that gave the indication she was astounded that someone didn't know this fact, she told me. No it wasn't some friend of hers it was.....
  11. Nostalgia Nonce

    What’s the best aquatic animal?

    Octopuses are fucking ace. Super intelligent, hard as fuck, and can change the colour and texture of their skin to blend in with the environment. They're basically the Terminator II of the sea. I was fortunate to see one on a reef when I was snorkelling in Egypt. To see it appear from nowhere is mindblowing, a completely different level from butterflies that look like leaves and chameleons.
  12. Briefcase

    The Official UKFF RAW Thread...

    First Raw I have seen in a few weeks and thought it was one of the better ones and came across to me like the WWE is trying to be unpredictable again, almost as if there is another promotion they might be worried about so are changing things up slightly (which they hinted at a few weeks ago but this felt a bit more like what they promised). More backstage scenes which I know has been something they haven't done lately, more prematch talks, of course the change to the Rumble main event and the IC title change. Vince and the Limo, Elias casually getting involved in that, The Alexia 'thing' all came across like something from the attitude era.
  13. Nostalgia Nonce

    Old people say funny shit

    My Grandad always used to call my Gran "Mick", despite her name being Betty. As it was all I could remember him calling her since I was a nipper, I just accepted it, but when asked by a friend the reason for it, I realised I had no idea. Apparently, during the war all my Grandad's friends had nicknames for their wives, but he didn't have one for my Gran and so just instantly christened her Mick to join in the conversation. The war ended in 1945, he died in 1997. For at least 52 years, he called her Mick for no other reason than she didn't already have a nickname, and she hated it!
  14. Keith Houchen

    Jose Also says it's 1, 2, 3 more and done for him. . .

    It's the old adage, isn't it? If you're thinking of retiring then you should retire there and then. However, call this his pension fund year, fuck knows he's deserved it but I worry he might be remembered for the losses at the arse end of his career if his heart isn't in these fights.
  15. Nostalgia Nonce

    Love it!

    A girl I used to work with experimented with jelly snakes, only to find out that they congeal when introduced to such environments. The A&E staff were very sympathetic, apparently.
  16. Liam O'Rourke

    Did you have a go at the wrestling, then?

    Holy shit, I was on that weeklong course. Talk about a small world.
  17. johnnyboy

    DVDs and Films You Have Watched Recently 3 - The Final Insult

    I'd say it leans far more into the comedic side of the comedy/period drama billing. Plus, Emma Stone's boob. Enjoyable even without the boob, but that's an extra half star. Vice It's good, takes some wonderful liberties, but just runs out of steam in the end and the finale drags a bit too much for it to be great. Also (massive spoiler) However, I don't want to know how they did Bale's face. It was either CGI or Big Macs, but I'd rather imagine that they stuffed cotton wool up his arse like a build-a-bear. Colette Dominic West couldn't ruin it. I cannot praise a film more highly than that.
  18. CleetusVanDamme

    Paul Hardcastle's Domestic Football 18/nuh nuh nuh 19

    Morata to Atleti's supposedly done too, I'm very curious to see what kind of fee we get, if it's permanent.
  19. lightningxlock

    The Metal/Punk/Rock Thread

    I NEED to see Neurosis at some point in my life so I'm tempted but not sure if this will be that time. Went Supersonic for a day years ago and wasn't too impressed. I saw Godflesh there and I know this will be sacrilege but frankly they bored me to tears. Think Jesu are ace, though.
  20. air_raid

    All Elite Wrestling trademarks filed

    Not sure that matters. Even if the deal ends up being closer to the "supershow" model than a fully fleshed out roster with main eventers down to JTTS, you can make wins and losses matter. Dragon Gate UK ran 2/3 shows a year with a small touring roster and still had a semblance of a ranking system by announcing the wins and losses of each guy before a match, with -2 IIRC putting you out of the company and +5 making you eligible to contend for the title. Which was really starting to work except the company stopped existing right as two guys reached +5. You don't need big numbers to establish a pecking order and further reasons to want to win other than your hand raised and a bigger purse.
  21. LCJ

    All Elite Wrestling trademarks filed

    I think Fulham have a side that would breeze through the Championship but struggle in the Premier League. I can’t see them surviving but stranger things have happened. Might depend on how they address the situation in the transfer window.
  22. So Also has came out and said he wants to retire by the end of 2019, by fighting three times this year and all of the fights taking place in Brazil (February, May and somewhere in the last half of the year). The McGregor loss is what he's going to remembered for in some casual fan circles, but it absolutely shouldn't be. He's one of the greatest of all time, who unfortunately for him, ran into Max Holloway and Conor McGregor at the tail end of his run. He says he doesn't want to continue to fight just for money if he can't compete at the top level, and he's going on a retirement run here of sorts, determined to win his final three in his homeland. Good on him, and I hope he does it. There's a nice little video package above of all his best (and worst) moments. https://www.mmafighting.com/2019/1/16/18185525/jose-aldo-plan-2019-fight-three-times-brazil-retire-from-mma Fighters talk retirement all the time and don't often follow through. Another parallel with wrestlers. One thing though that often happens is the second they start talking retirement publicly, they should have already done it. Let's hope this is Aldo seeing the dusk setting on the end of his career and having a plan to go out on his own terms, following through with it and we aren't bringing this thread up again in 2021 - Where a Jose Aldo, on an 0-3 run is coming out of retirement for Golden Boy MMA.
  23. scratchdj

    Paul Hardcastle's Domestic Football 18/nuh nuh nuh 19

    This is what I was dreading about VAR: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/football/46897270
  24. stevestryka

    Did you have a go at the wrestling, then?

    From what I remember he was nice enough, it was at a show for TAP in Leicester and I'm sure he had no clue what was going on, if I remember rightly there were literally a handful on people in the audience. I also belive both him and El Generico were on the same card and neither were advertised and people thought it was cool back them to surprise the audience by booking wrestlers than the people who would want to see would only pay to see if they Knew they were on the card. Anyway I digress. Being more of a WWE guy I didn't really know who he was when he was there other than a "proper" wrestler and big bloody bloke compared to the rest of us...I also remember thinking his gear must be a nightmare to wrestle in :-). He spoke to everyone and didn't seem to have much of an ego, certainly not with me anyway...and he had a match with the "booker" as of course most bookers love sticking themselves in with the big boys. He worked pretty stiff, but I think half of that was the fact he was actually a real bloke with actual muscles, hit an awesome curb stomp which I had never seen and thought was the bees knees! Shook hands, thanked everyone and went on his merry way. For what it's worth I've had positive experiences with everyone I've met really. CM punk was a really nice guy when he came in came early, spoke to everyone was happy to offer advice. We ran an angle where he came out after our top heel was pulling my little brother from the crowd (who was about 11 at the time) and he even took the time to have a chat with him and explain how things would work so he didn't get freaked out. Jake was nice but obviously still going through a lot of personal problems which was a shame, we were lucky enough for him to come in make it through a match and leave pretty much without incident, and he was happy to talk about the old days of WWF without sounding too jaded. Cabana was a bit cocky and loved his own voice and jokes, but the couple of times I was on a show with him he was always happy to put people over and let them shine in matches. I think by far though one of the nicest guys I met was Tommy End, on my first session at DPW he ran drills with me personally and even asked if I had my gear (which of course I did) and would I be willing to cut a promo for a show they had coming up so I could say a British faction were coming in to take over. Made me feel very welcome. Waffling now...I'll shut up!
  25. Keith Houchen

    Top Twitter

  26. returner82

    Wrestling Pod Casts / Radio Interviews

    Can you expand a bit on that? I've no interest in listening to him but keen to hear what he had to say.
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