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The UKFF Celebrity Twatlist


HarmonicGenerator

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Woot 2 of me rants made it into the quotes... I only did a top 7 as was done ranting by then but here they are

 

 

1. Lewis Hamilton

 

Rage cannot contain it anymore. Jumped up, Whiny, 'Self made' Prima donna. Everything about him is just pure and utter twatty. Cant stand the fucker. He can drive a race car, but seriously would smash his face in repeatedly for being a complete cock.

 

2 Jordan.

 

'Im a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world' Plastic, fantastic! Needs kicks to the bucket repeatedly. Took Gareth Gates virginity iirc, shagged a load of footballers, would probably melt in front of a naked flame. Cunt.

 

3 Triple H

 

The reason that Wrestling is dying. Synonimous (sp?) with stars that have held their position for too long is the forbearer of doom within the WW whatever they call themselves these days. Boring, Done to death. and a face only his mother could love.

 

4. Chris Kamara

 

Jovial Soccer Saturday Pundit, with 'Soul-Glo' hair and tache. If he is trying to act like Darrell from Coming to America. You could write his football knowledge on a postage stamp. He gloats alot about all the jobs he has turned down.. If he was 'That' good why the fuck is he not in management now. Oh yeah, his 'fun reports? I'd rather stab me eyes out with and acid tipped spike.

 

5 Tom Cruise

 

Fucking prick... smiling inane grin plays the same role in every film, has about two facial expressions. Could nd probably has been out acted by a peice of wood. I just cant stand it every time he appears on film i want to smash him tae fuck, because he has invaded my privacy.

 

6. Colin Farrell

 

See Tom Cruise except replace smiling inane grin with complete tosser. Minority Report as you can imagine was hell and if it was a choice between, that being the only film i could ever see or going blind. Blind would win every single time.

 

7. Alex Deakin

 

Cock weather man. Perma tanned idiot that thinks he is gods gift to weather presenting. Dan Corbett should step up an machete him live on air to show him what a cock he is

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My top ten:

 

1. Kerry Katonia

2. Cristiano Ronaldo

3. Russell Brand

4. Jonathan Ross

5. Michael McIntyre

6. Jordan

7. Lewis Hamilton

8. Ashley Cole

9. Jonas Brothers

10. Lady Gaga

 

Very happy with the fact my top seven made the list. Slightly disappointed though that Katonia wasn't number one, but then I can't really complain with Jordan taking it.

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2 Jordan.

shagged a load of footballers

Really? Which ones?

 

Teddy Sheringham, Dwight Yorke and Frank Lampard (recently said she wants to finish what she started*shudders*) spring immediately to mind.

 

Iam sure there are others ive missed

 

 

The thing with rants is this, they are outbursts and can exaggerate the truth somewhat..

 

3 isnt loads but there are some in her supposed *Bleurgh* 'low number' of ex boyfriends and as ive said iam sure ive missed a few

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1. Bryan Robson - boring, unfunny, managerial talent lacking, alcoholic fuckface.

2. Jade Goody - I wouldn't dig her up, but if I met her in the street, were she still alive, I'd dropkick her

3. Chris Moyles - unfunny cunt who surrounds himself with other unfunny cunts who think they're funny cunts.

4. Chris Evans - He fucked Billie Piper

5. Janet Street Porter - Said the Red Dwarf episode "Gunmen of the Apocalypse" was impossible to shoot and made no sense, and that the writers should shitcan it and do something else, the only reason they didn't was they'd already shot it. the show won an emmy, and the series won a British Comedy Award

6. Jamie Oliver - Cunt.

7. Russell Brand - Poncing about swearing in "ye olde worlde english" does not make you funny

8. Harry Hill - talking shit about badgers does not make you funny

9. Bono - Cunt

10. Simon Cowell - for turning a singing competition into a room full of wankers telling other wankers they're wankers.

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2 Jordan.

shagged a load of footballers

Really? Which ones?

 

Teddy Sheringham, Dwight Yorke and Frank Lampard (recently said she wants to finish what she started*shudders*) spring immediately to mind.

 

 

D'oh, how did I forget about Dwight Yorke! I don't read tabloids or have any interest in Jordan but I guess you can't escape hearing or knowing some things, it does seem like its the same old footballers' names cropping up when it comes to shagging glamour models.

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1. Bryan Robson - boring, unfunny, managerial talent lacking, alcoholic fuckface.

 

His appearance on Superstars when he had to do the push-ups challenge and didn't back down despite the fact that only have one working shoulder proved to be an hilarious disadvantage gets him a bye in my book.

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2. Jade Goody - I wouldn't dig her up, but if I met her in the street, were she still alive, I'd dropkick her

 

 

Dropkick, huh?

 

You must be pretty athletic for a fat fuck...

 

I'm just loving the fact that it's only now you're picking up on that comment, when it was used and credited to me on the actual Jade Goody entry.

 

Just because I'm fat, doesn't make me unfit, there's a huge difference.

 

Keep on stalking kid, you're doing quite well.

 

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2. Jade Goody - I wouldn't dig her up, but if I met her in the street, were she still alive, I'd dropkick her

 

 

Dropkick, huh?

 

You must be pretty athletic for a fat fuck...

 

Bit harsh, Brah.

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2. Jade Goody - I wouldn't dig her up, but if I met her in the street, were she still alive, I'd dropkick her

 

 

Dropkick, huh?

 

You must be pretty athletic for a fat fuck...

 

Bit harsh, Brah.

 

This 'brah' shit really has got to stop. That fucking bounty hunter has a lot to answer for.

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