A friend of mine gave me an excellent piece of advice regarding "rejection" by a woman. He said that I should never think of it as someone rejecting me because I'm not good enough. I should just realise that 99% of people have really shit taste. "They can't all have shit taste, can they?" you might ask. "Just look at the music in the charts," he replied. It's true. Most people have awful, awful taste and if they can't see why you're awesome enough for them, that's their problem.

2 years is no gap at all. Get her number, give her a call and say "hey, how's it going? I'm kinda disappointed we never got to know each other a bit better. What are you up to this weekend? A few of us are going out to the pub/cinema/ice skating/skydiving and I thought you might want to come."

The worst that can happen is she says no, in which case you've lost the cost of a phone call. It's not that big a deal.

...you don't know me very well...

anyone balls to it, when I say shes left I mean she's moved back to Torquay for the holidays, then coming back to take her exams and then God knows what

Spoken like a true virgin.

...yeah

In your case, many, many inches. Just joshing...you don't have to show me, no, zip up your pants, keep it away from me.... run!

Gotta teach them to dodge young these days...

Aww sweetie, the baby is actually tucked up so far that its no where near even the more...larger...members? lol
Sex is extremley good in pregnancy, as orgasms help the blood pump better into the baby

It can also help move things along if the baby get a little too comfy past your due date

Ok i need some advice.

Me and my girlfriend want to get engaged, its all going great after just under a year and we want to take the plunge. The problem is my girlfriend is a bit of a jewelery expert. She used to work in a jewelers and has the perfect ring in her mind for her engagement. This has always stopped me officially proposing as for one i couldnt afford the kind of ring she wants and two it would kind of ruin the surprise.

Anyway i have just found out im going to get a nice bonus at the end of April so i can actually get the ring. This is where i need some help. She works for the same firm so she knows that im getting the ring. How can i still give her a romantic proposal she would want with maybe for someone really creative an element of surprise?

Any tips would be appreciated.

Just dont tell her when your going to do it, keep her guessing, and have some fun with it

Hah.. totally. You should create a false situation (or situations) in which it will seem like you're going to propose and then don't. She'll love that...

I was with you on everything there... Right up to the nice bonus

I feel your pain, before the bonus i thought i was never going to be able to afford it. To be fair to my missus she was prepared to go half ( i know how un-romantic that is) to get the ring she wants.

If im being honest spunking a grand on a ring to me is a waste but i guess to her its what she has always dreamed of. My mate got his girlfriend a five pound ring for their engagement whilst on holiday in Egypt. Lucky bastard.

No ps3 and plasma for me then

people at my work do. you they are constantly going "Tommy can you hear me, Tommy can you hear me"

But when the woman from sales says see me feel me funs guaranteed to follow

By being a smart ambitious young lady? Success attracts stupid people I'm afraid. Look at it this way: it took getting my nose busted and a night sleeping rough in bristol (really, just don't ask) before I realised that my ex was a braindead coke fiend who'd bring about my demise as well as her own if I hung around her. Then I met the woman I'm currently with and I have never ever been happier. Guess what I'm trying to say MAT is soon as you get shot of this spastic (literally if you so choose....I know a guy.....) then the sooner you can find the ACTUAL Mr Right. Then there might be cake. I mean, hey, who don't like cake, right?

Okay, What kinda ring, doeqsnt really matter unless shes some kinda materialistic retard, the fact that your giving it to her as proof of your love should be all that matters. Mine wanted a Blue topaz ring, nowt fancy, thats what she wanned, less than 100 quid... No budget constraints then or nothing.... so it Shouldnt really matter.

As for proposal. what place means a lot to you both, it could be where you met, it could be somewhere you both hold dear... Picnic and proposal.. as long as its important to both of you it doesnt have to be extravangant or bollox. Just cos other peopl go ott doesnt mean you have to!

Re the ring well as i said she used to work in a jewelers and i guess she spents hours picking out her dream engagement ring. Its not the price she is bothered about its the settings, look and all that shit that i know fuck all about. I guess in a way it is materialistic and i dont really want to pay it but she is the best thing to ever happen to me and its her dream so i dont mind.

The proposal thing well i dont wanna go OTT just want something a bit original if that makes sense. I might even do it at home and get my dad or someone to create a nice little romantic set up for when we get in from work, at least she wont be expecting that.

Apologies in advance.


I've been seeing my current Girlfriend for about 2 and a half years. I'd say shes attractive, loyal, caring I would trust her with my life. I know she would do anything for me. I was her first, and sometimes I think the sex could be better, but I think thats down to us not talking about it as much as we should.

Anyways, Weve split like twice in the last 2 years, and it's always me that breaks it off. I put it down to the fact that I'm a 24 year old fuck head and I just dont know what I have when I have it.

I'm unsure of if we should stay together, a part of me wants something new, but I feel if I did break it off I'd become more of a bum than I am now and probably wouldnt find anyone half as nice as she is.

When I think of life without her, I feel like shit. I know she loves me for who I am and would do absolutley anything for me, shes kind, selfless and understanding of anything that would come out of my mouth. Although sometimes I think we could have more in common
I'm trying to put stuff into perspective, but I get absolutley nowhere. The last thing I wanna do is get back with her and let her down again. the worst thing in the world would be to hurt her even more.
But When I think of not being with her that hurts too. Like I can't imagine her not being there.

Sorry to drone on, but I've been feeling both ways for a month or so and i just cant get my head round the way I should feel
I guess I should add that i'm a pretty negative person and the grass is always greener on the other side.. yadda yadda yadda

I have shared some of the best times of my life with her and I could see more. Surely even thinkin at all like this should mean its worth fighting for.
yes, i agree im fucked up, but If I can be with someone who I can talk openly to and theres a chance we can be happy as a couple. surely thats gotta be something to get my head into gear

Sometimes I think its more of a case of I need everything in my life to be perfect, when in actual reality, nothing will ever be perfect. i'm not saying I should settle for less, but actually stop thinking that everything is way more bad than it actually is.


A similar thing happened a few years ago wtih another girl and I ended up regretting it.

I don't wanna do that again.

Sorry again,
Any advice appreciated.

I think, if she's as understanding as you say, then, you should just talk to her about all of this.

Fair play if you can do the spank the million billion pounds on a ring that shows eff all in the large scheme of things tho. Admittedly i know sack all bowt you and yer bird, and i dont wana sound condescending, but itll prol come accross like that.

If its a ring of a fairly large amount you need to make sure any home insurance covers it away from the home, some start as low as 1500 per item, some need it specifying over 500 quid, incase it gets damaged lost or stolen etc.

Theres the look he really loves me, hes given me my dream ring, which is all well and gud, however.. is it worth getting all bent outta shape for one ring?

Its romantic in the trad sense of, must by the best ring money can buy for her... but is it really worth it. If your certain that you wanna spend the rest of your life with her and have kids and shit, surely thats more important that one bit of tempered metal and carbon etc.

Relationships are about compromise, if you spend all this money on her , what are you getting in return.. if she truly loves you then youve already got the girl. and lil things like rings arent about to cause a major fuck up in things.

Are you gunna do things her way for the wedding? what about you and what you want or is that gunna be ignored... you can giver her the dream,. but if it comes back in your face your thousands in debt( as in spent not necessarily literally) with naff all to show for it

one example in the sun last week had some geezere buying a 6 k ring and then tying it to a balloon and then it flew off.. she wudnt speak to him after wards.... is that the kinda thing you want?

Whats your dream?

I have, although maybe I've gone into more depth here.

When we've spoken about it, in all honesty shes been great. She will give me time to think about it, and has said she'll always be there for me whatever.

i guess it would be alot easier if I werent so negative.

Okay, just a quicky.. are you scared? do you feel scared of committing to her, in case of summat better coming along? or is it that by settling down that you will regret something that you feel like you missed?

you post says that you are in to her and shes is into you, but you dont wanna let her down.

How are you gunna let her down? do you feel like you cant live to her expectations? What about yours, can she live to yours?

Do you see your self fucking up, if so why do u see it, whats causing those shoulders to be weighed down and whats causing you to think shes too good for me, iam fek up etc.


The truth is she prob loves your forever, its just your own emotions getting in the way of it, again i know crap all other than what youve written, but the doubts about something better and not living up to her.. scream through...

try being yourself and let the ride go where it takes you.. You prol havent let her down, but keep self analysing to the point of insanity you will push her away anyway.. and yet again you will be where you started with the lass you mentioned a few years ago.

Ok well with the ring she has this certain look she wants. As i said before she even offered to pay half . To be honest before this bonus she was about to resign herself to something she didnt really want. She has looked everywhere for the style she wants but the cheapest she can find it for is 700 so i do believe her when she says its not about the cost.

As for what you said i agree 100% and in our relationship she does compromise quite a bit. I mean i have found a girl that lets me watch an hour of wrestling everynight , picks me up blind drunk from football matches and does pretty much whatever i ask. The wedding though, well its different.

Without boring you with our life story half her family are from Ireland and a lot of them are quite religious. Thus she has been brought up dreaming of the big white wedding. Me? well i just am happy that i have met a girl i love to bits and i want to settle down, im really not bothered about weddings. The whole thing is me compromising for her.

She knows im not paying for a huge wedding, i cant so anything she wants is going to be done with minimal financial input from me and her and a lot from her mum and dad. Im not getting into any more debt than im already in thank you.

As long as i can pick the best man and have my sisters as bridesmaids im happy to be honest.

It's worth every penny.

Not scared of committing, that really isn't an issue. Neither of us want marriage or anything at this stage in life. Id say im worried that it aint the right thing. like maybe there is soemthing else out there for me.
The only way I could let her down would be doing this all again, I think we could both live upto each others expectations.
I think it's defo my own issues.

If its not an issue then, why bring it up? marriage wasnt mentioned, only commitment. Are you scared of being in a long term relationship with her incase you fuck it up by cheating for some quick kick cos you think there is better for you. If you think that way, why do you love/care for her? do you u like her cos she shows you attention? do you like her cos she fills a missing peice of her life? do you like her as a soul mate, or dare i say it a good shag?


If you think that you could both live up to each others expectations, then why are you scared about it?

To me your self confidence and self belief are shot, i get the impression that you deep down think she is too good for you for the amount of crap she puts up with and are wondering why you are still with her through all of this. Your doing all that you can to push her away despiet the fact you dont know what you want.. cos of aforementioned stuff..

get to some self confidence/self belief courses/ interent things/self hypnosis/ doing stuff you enjoy/are good at etc then re evaluate.

Your marrying her, not her family... Mines got an extended family that would mean over 250 pepople on her side to the wedding, however, theres people on both sides we dont see and are not gunna invite, just cos we are related to them. I woudl rather have those that are close with me at my wedding rather than people i dont see, or i dont necessarily care about there... its yours and hers day.. same with proposal.. its nowt to do do with anyone else its you and her.... the more personal it is to the both of you and the more, significance it has for you the better it is...

just two penneth worth loike

I think you misunderstood what i was trying to say, prolly down to my shitty writing to be fair.

I mentioned her family because although i couldnt give two shits about them, the way they have brought her up means she thinks the wedding is the biggest and most important day of her life. It means the world to her and i want to make her happy.She has it all planned out in her head.

Dude its prol, both of us and a forum lol! with cruddy writing

Are what she wants and your sort of as long as we are married I dont care type attitude, compatable?

Sounds too familar. Me lassy is only child and, dad wannad the works... sod thecrap.. why in the blue hell would i want 10 million people i dont know at mine and hers day?.

I talked in a calm manner to dad in law and confirmed that iI know what he and family wanted etc, but this what she and me wants.. and his fine with that... they hire out mansiopns and stuff for family do's!!!!?!?!?!? Still not married but thats a shit run of luck over the last 3 years. but it is being worked on!

If she doesnt get the wedding fo her dreams, where does that leave you BTW?

Feeling guilty. At the end of the day she loves me and just wants to marry me but as i said its not going to cost me a fortune (ring aside) so im more than happy to let her have her day.

Fairy does, hope it all goes well for you both

Cheers

Almost every woman in the world has been planning her perfect wedding since she was old enough to know what a wedding was. It's not traditional for the groom to pay for the wedding - that's the bride's parents' job. So don't sweat that. If she's into the traditional things, all you have to do is buy rings, dress yourself for the big day then turn up for the ceremony and make a speech afterwards. Pint of piss.

However, if you fuck with her dream in any way, emotionally blackmailing her into making the big day anything less than she wants it to be, she will never really forgive you for it. No doubt she will ask your opinion on things to do with the celebrations. Be very careful at these moments. If you agree with her suggestions, you agree wholeheartedly. If you're not sure, you agree with her. If you're dead set against something, make sure it's for very good reasons then be VERY tactful about it.

Women are not like us. Do not expect logic or common sense to be involved in these discussions.

For my wedding I got to picky out my own suit. That was it, in that entire day the only bit I had any say in was the suit I was wearing. I did get to see the venue beforehand but I was under no illusions about that - I was seeing it, not choosing it. I'd say that is fairly par for the course.

As Kenny said the wedding is all about the bride, if you want to continue having sex after the ceremony you would be well advised to keep your mouth shut and keep smiling.

Oh, and the worst thing about getting married - between now and the wedding everytime your wife to be is in the room with another woman it is all she'll want to talk about. You will have to sit there listening to the same conversations over and over again safe in the knowledge that any attempt to join in on your part will put you in danger of joining the no sex club.





Anyway, good luck and have fun. (and on the bright side the day itself is a fucking doddle for the groom - throw on a suit, have a pint before the service, say "I Do", thank everyone for coming, get pissed in the evening).

Agree with every word of this. I see things in black and white with a woman though its like its a given that you have to try and read between the lines.

The wedding is for her, seeing her happy is enough for me.



I am expecting at least a year of non stop wedding talk. Cant wait.

Matt and i have been going OK yesterday and today. He came to the scan and since then hes been acting very strange around me. He even text me asking what i was up to, he hasnt sent me a text since about the first week of our relationship.
We watched a film today, and We were both on the sofa, and he came over and rested against me, holding my belly. I was majorly freaked out, because hes never done that before, and never tried to cuddle me unless he wants something. But then i got really into the film so i just kinda forgot about it.
He left after the film, and then this evening he sent me a text saying good night, see you tomorow.

So there i am, STILL doing the ironing at about 1am (an hour ago) and my phone starts ringing. Not being a social butterfly i get really worried when people are calling me at this hour.
And it was Matt. And he was asking if i was ok.
Of course i was ok, and in the end i got out of him that he had a bad dream about the birth, where my Von Willibrands disese took over and i was dying from blood loss.

Firstly, im touched....but is that enough to think hes changed? my concience (sp? too late for me) says no, keep distance until he performs a miracle. But the lonley side of me is saying "company!!~~~" *sigh*

Secondly, What the hell had he been eating before he went to sleep!?!?

A lot of cheese!

He's proved absolutely nothing. One evening of him not pestering you for sex doesn't mean a thing.

If he's constantly being nice for a sustained period - say, a few months - without you giving him even the slightest hint of a reconsiliation, then it might be worth a rethink, but he's still got a lot of growing up to do - and I'm not sure he'll be able to do it if you're with him, as he'll expect you to run around and look after him. Sorry, but you've been engaged to a 20-something year old boy.

That's what I was thinking.

So I asked that girl at work out, any ideas on where to go? Not to expensive as I'm broke!

NOT the cinema, TERRIBLE first date. I'd suggest perhaps a meal, though personally I prefer to leave that until second or third. If there's a fairly nice bar - quiet but interesting - where you can have a casual drink and a chat for a few hours, I'd go with that. Then second and third do a combination of either dinner or a film and a drink afterwards... then come back for more.

I have my own problem. I've been kinda seeing a girl for a couple of months, exceedingly casual and not a lot of pressure, almost like friends with benefits. I've developed feelings for her, moreso than I had thought I would - but she, and I quote, has said "I don't have any heart to give." Should I try and close it off and save myself, or should I take it easy and try and show her that she perhaps does have a bit of heart to give?

You're in central London man.. go to any one of the million bars on your doorstep.

If you need to make it sound more like a 'proper date' tell her you're going for dinner, but go for a pre-dinner drink. If it's going well you'll never make it to dinner, and if it's not well then at leasts you know you can just cut your losses, buy her a bargain bucket or some shit.

Tricky one. Try taking a step or three back and let her chase you a little bit. What she's saying sounds a bit like a defence mechanism/pre-emptive "you're not going to hurt me" strike, so if you back off a bit, she'll more than likely realise that she misses your attention and will come looking for it. If that works, after a wee while you can raise the idea that maybe things are a bit more serious between you than she realised. If it doesn't, you've already distanced yourself from her and at that point, you just need to move on.

My marriage must be fucked then. I'm in charge of the entire wedding side of things, while she does the reception (or nine-day anniversary party as we're billing it.)

I guess the trick is to wait till a certain age before getting hitched, at which point the bride may have been to so many friends/colleagues/relatives weddings that she's sick and tired of sugared almonds and meringue dresses.

So you are, in a sense, the booker?

You'll be alright John. I arranged the venue, picked her rings and invited hundreds of people resulting in standing room only during the service and I'm still happily married almost a decade later.

I hear Lantern and Kenny are doing a Moondogs tribute during the reception.

That was supposed to be a surprise. Fucking dirtsheets...

Mmm. Much has been said.. but uts the relationship for dummies approach he is trying... act all kind to Prove Iam worth it for short term gain so i can get her back and then shag her, then back to usual approach... possibly..

As has been said by Joe the Lion i think ( like me an Joe are gunna agree, We are shush lol). hes just after one thing and being nicey nicey to get it, if he really means it then give it several months and then reassess.

Things will still be raw emotionally now and its some times easy for a guy to think they can fuck with your emotions to do their bidding. Just cos you love him etc...


If you still love him, and wanna do things, think why you split in the first place, has he changed, has he show willingness to change, what about you, do you Really wanna go through all of that again to end up where you are now.. back at home etc.

Iam ignoring the fact that your pregnant as the whole just being with him for a dad issue is dead in the water for the moment, though he may play on that while trying to win you back.

Ultimately its your call.. but to be hones even with one night and a *suddenly* changed attitude, Id be horrendously wary... you got out of it for a reason be strabnge to go straight back for more of the same?! or is that me?

Its easy for people to say they have changed, much MUCH harder to actually do and prove.

Well, I've certainly distanced myself, I'm in a different country for the next 3 weeks... that should work, right? I'm guessing I don't want to cut off completely, give her the odd message and stuff... cheers for the advice, I'll give it a run.

In reverse order of questions: Heroin possibly, or the green stuff under his fridge?

Call me jaded and frankly angry if you like, but guys like him never change. I'd be wary if I were you, he's possibly after something.