I don't mean to be rude...but, you think he's a knob because he didn't reply to a myspace message?

That's ridiculous.

No I just found him to be a nob in general like arrogant and two faced, even when I did know him. The lass told me he changed, so thats what made me PM, and then I got a PM off his friend saying "Hey man, been a while, *insert name here* freaked out when you messaged him, but you know what he's like".

okay... so some advice and encouragement needed. also, this is a very long read. i apologise in advance.

me and my last girlfriend broke up at the end of january, as discussed in various other threads. now, that was pretty bad, but i did the usual thing and started going out with my mates more, made easier by the fact my best mate's a dj and got me in free to his club.

there were two girls i met in those first few weeks, kelly and ciara. i spent a while talking to kelly but didn't seem to be getting anywhere, ciara was being far more receptive so i invited her out for my birthday and then asked her out. unfortunately, between me asking her out and us going out, she started seeing someone else. still, she met me as we'd arranged and apologised face to face and we actually had quite a nice evening. and then i went home and slept with my ex, because that's, of course, the healthy thing to do.

after that, my ex pretty much made sure that my attention was drawn towards her the majority of the time, despite saying i needed to get over her and move on she'd tease me almost constantly. eventually i moved out and, although we were still spending every day together, it was slightly easier. eventually she moved back to her parents and we went down to speaking only once or twice a week. for at least an hour, admittedly, but it was better, i was going out, thinking about her less and generally feeling pretty bulletproof.

by this point, i'd become really good friends with ciara and had been getting to know her boyfriend pretty well. i still saw kelly every week but because i still felt really messed up over my ex, i wasn't making the effort to talk her, or anyone else really. plus, she's a student so she eneded up going home for the summer.

a couple of months ago, the guy that my ex left me for broke up with her and we started talking a lot more, twice a day on average. she'd calle me while she was on lunch at work and i'd call her in the evening. not long after that, she came back to cardiff to visit me and then two weeks after that, i went back to london to visit her. the number of phone calls increased to the point where she'd occaisionally call me in the morning before work and would without fail call me at least once more after that. A couple of weeks ago, I went to stay with her in her new student house because the other girls hadn't moved in yet and she was finding it hard settling in. 5 days together was actually very nice and i realised how much i missed her company. one thing became obvious from that, however, despite the fact i wasn't over her, she wasn't interested in getting back together in the slightest.

so this is now about three weeks later and enrollment was on saturday. queue 4 phone calls, each of which being quite ratty, stressed and unhappy, the final one being at about half past 11 when i was out at a club with my mates. i was a bit bored and plus i'm far too nice to her so cue me taking out half an hour of my night to stand outside the club on the phone to her crying at me and trying to cheer her up, looking at things from every angle i could and seemingly only making her more upset. eventually, i got fed up and pointed out that one of the reasons she broke up with me, she said, was that she wanted to learn to stand on her own two feet but all she'd done since was use aj as a crutch and since he broke up with her, she's been depending on me a lot with little thanks. so she said she wouldn't call me anymore. ever. i sighed. fine, okay, whatever.

now, this probably isn't something i would have done if not for the fact that kelly came back to uni last week and i ended up pulling her on friday. i was utterly trashed and feel really bad that i wasn't more sober and in control plus i totally forgot to ask for her number but did promise i'd be out next week and asked her to come out the next night.

now, she's sort of friends with my best mate (the dj) and we essentially met through him. we're friends on myspace, so despite the fact we didn't exchange numbers, she could still contact me through there or through my mate. i even dropped her a quick message to say hello and ask how her weekend was.

i'm probably being far too overly analytical but the fact that i haven't heard from her is making me really paranoid. probably something to do with the fact that i'm fairly convinced she's far too hot for me. i dunno. i should probably just play it cool and wait until friday when she'll be out again, no doubt. i'm going to see some bands tomorrow night and that seemed like a good opportunity to ask her out... i dunno...

anyway, my myspace profile's www.myspace.com/elegia_xo. kelly's number 16 (Smelzo Pants) on my top friends (and, just for the record, the above mentioned ex is number 1(*Sam*). as an interesting side note, my first serious girlfriend is also on there, Trouble. she got married over the weekend. seems strange that i've got an ex who's now married. bit less odd, considering she's 8 years older than me (and hot), but still...)

A lot these problems (and elegia this is directed at you. I'm not jabbing at you because I've been there) are down to low self esteem and respect.

If you have low self esteem, you're gonna be putting up with crap. Why did you put up with so much bullshit from this ex girlfriend? Why hurt yourself like that?

You need to start accepting yourself fully and stop giving your power away. This attitude adjustment makes SO much difference. I'm starting to shift because of Chakra meditations, and my life is beginning to align with the positive affirmations. Affirmations like -

I am, and the world welcomes me... I live with courage and consideration (Root Chakra)
I welcome change in my life... I am enough... I trust the Universe to supply my abundance and prosperity (Sacral Chakra)
I own my own strength... I give my power away to no one... I appreciate all of my unique qualities (Solar Plexus Chakra)
I am truly loved... I accept myself just the way I am (Heart Chakra)
I speak my truth at all times... I serve others with my unique gifts (Throat Chakra)
I accept responsibility for creating my own reality (Third Eye Chakra)
I align with the unity of my Higher Self (Crown Chakra)

Sceptical? Think of something that gets you down. You'll probably feel pressure in your chest, abdomen etc. That's because there's real energy swirling through our bodies! Ever listen to a song that makes you buzz inside? That's because certain notes can open Chakras (briefly at least).

Get the energy flowing properly in your body and you become happier, healthier and resistant to negative energy.

If your self esteem is so low you let girls mess you around, they'll keep doing it. Some girls like this drama. Most, however, will respect and be attracted to you so much more if you have integrity and don't put up with crap.

I've learned most of this stuff from ideaGasms. There's wonderful Chakra meditations on there. I've been meditating almost daily since late April and my life is improving no end. I actually feel energy in my body now. Every time I meditate I buzz.

Today ideaGasms.net released the 1st half of the Girlfriend Training Program. Sexist? Absolutely not. We are all socially hardwired to feel things like hate and fear. On a spiritual level, we have chosen this duality. But it's a choice. I choose not to feel miserable and get messed around. I choose to have loving relationships... primarily with the Self but also, and by consequence, others.

As evidenced in this thread, there's certain things that many girls do - 'shit tests', aloof behaviour, jealousy games etc.

Of course, guys do things like this too, but The GTP isn't just a girlfriend training program, it's a kick in the ass to the blokes that purchase it. It's teaching us to become better men (or, in a spiritual perspective, to return to the perfect soul we are) so we can teach our lovers to become better women.

I've listened to the first 2 hours of the GTP question and answer section. It's fucking hilarious and a real wake up call.

well what about a boyfriend training program? is there one of those??

Dammit, do I need to organise another group hug?

maybe hands across the UKFF would be more effective

For reasons I am currently unwilling to explain, I will echo the sentiments of Mr. Seven:

WOMEN SUCK.

hey, come on, yeah i know women are shit, but so are guys. we are all as bad as each other. You know what the real culprit is?? Human Emotion. That's the real shit thats fucking with our heads.

It pretty much is a boyfriend training program, but not many men want to train themselves so I guess the title is a subtle way that blokes can receive the kick in the ass they need without feeling preached at.

One thing that should be pointed out is this Yin and Yang polarity that I've mentioned before. Yang is the leader, Yin is the follower. They are equal but their roles are different. Yin is nurturing while Yang is about strength.

Traditionally, Yin is female but Yang is male. Stephane Hemon of ideaGasms puts it better than I can -





So there isn't an official 'Boyfriend Training Program' but there is a Squirting Orgasm guide which allows a man (or indeed woman) to make their girlfriend have unbelievable, earth shattering orgasms.



The world is your mirror.

Women are awesome. I understand the bitchiness and games and all that crap. Beyond that, I absolutely love female energy.

Girls

In fact, people in general

Start loving people and you'll get love back.

it involes corsets and a riding crop...

its a whole be good then rewarded scenario...

hmmm...

There was no bitchiness, craziness or games played on me.

There WAS, however, my girlfriend taking Class-A drugs behind my back on a night out, leaving me to drive her home and to explain why I soldier-carried their daughter into the house to her parents.

And a hefty argument with them. Hefty.

We'd just end up beating each other up and having arm wrestling contests to see who's the Alpha Male in the group.

It's social dynamics unfortunately.

And, if it was a woman leading the training program, everyone would hit on her.

BIG HUG TO EVERYONE

without meaning to sound harsh, underneath all the metaphysical crap, there's a good lesson to be learned from all that.

now then... as for taking all the crap from my ex, to begin with, i don't know. emotionally, i was hurting a lot and she took advantage of that and i let her because, well, part of me liked being advantage of. as for more recent things, it's pretty much because i still care about her a lot and she hasn't really had anyone else to turn to. i know it's hard going through a lot of change when there's people around to support you but when you've got no one it's a lot harder. so i was trying to be there for her knowing that very few other people would be.

at the end of the day, i never really felt like i was getting anything in return for everything i was doing for her, not even the recognition that i was still there for her and making the effort when other people weren't. and i think that's why i finally made the stand and confronted her about it, probably somewhat encouraged by that whole empowering feeling of pulling an attractive girl who actually seems to like me. and the knowing that if i was going to make any effort with someone new, there's no way i could if i was going to be on the phone to my ex for an hour a day, regardless of whether there's anything between us or not.

i do have self-esteem issues. very deep rooted ones that stem from feeling unaccepted during childhood and being the kid in school who had people laugh at girls who i fancied because evidently i was so bad that me fancying them was inherently a bad thing for them.

yes, i've been far more successful with women since then and there's that whole growing up and getting over it and finding friends who do really like me and do really care for me but deep seated issues will still raise their head when it comes to things like this. especially given the fact that i've now been single for nearly 8 months and apart from a couple of fuck buddies and random snogs, this is the first time something's actually happened with someone who i find attractive and actually like.

so... yeah. it's a shame really because up until the point when my ex became a rather large part of my life again, i had been feeling indestructable and would have been far more confident venturing into a new relationship. but, at the time, it felt like being there for her was more important than being there for myself.

Some are great at it - others arent. My novice ex was fantastic whereas a random slut one nighter was terrible at it! Wheres the logic!

Urg my tactics with girls are starting to backfire!

Call me an asshole all you want but when it comes down to it, i dont like being single. I like the attention because im an attention whore and it just feels good to tell people you have a girlfriend.

The reason for you to call me an asshole is because of the following. I have 2 girls on the go, im not going out with either although both are interested. The girl i like the most is Carly, and the other (Plan B) is called Amy. This is complicated because me and Carly had ended it a while back and this is when i moved on to Amy. However, Carly is back on the scene now and i actually have feelings for her so id much rather be with her. problem is during my time away from her i met up eith this Amy girl twice and my winning smile and boyish charm has obviously won her affections because she seems to be really into me, txting me all the time, always arranging to meet up and anytime im on msn, BAM, there she is waiting. Problem is...i dont really like her that much, sure she was fine as a rebound girl but now Carly is back on the scene she's begginning to annoy me. "Just dump her and go for Carly then" you might say, and sure it makes logical sense, however, if for some reason me and Carly didnt work out, id have nothing to fall back on. This is bad. So until things with me and Carly take off, i need to keep Amy sweet, but Plan B is proving to be more time and effort than Carly.

To justify my actions, think of it this way. When you have a car, some people like to have a spare tire. They may never use it, but its nice to know it's there incase you do need it. Thats all Amy is, my spare tire incase things go tits up with Carly.....im not evil.

Cybermen might be evil, but they've got a point, emotions are evil.



You're really starting to sound like a life coach. I know you've chosen your path in life and honestly, I have no problem with it, but this reminds me of the time I was first in a church and really began to listen to what people were saying. People end up believing things, getting addicted to those beliefs and then it really starts to sound so scary to me. You love all people? That's inhuman, surely.



While it's all well and good being an attention whore, it's a dangerous act. A girl I once dated, not for very long, is one of them and she's soon going to be suffering from it. You end up taking people just so you get attention, you then decide they arn't good enough, do the same with dozens of other people and soon you're blacklisted yourself. The amount of people that are bitter towards her is growing all the time. I went through a stage where I couldn't give a toss about her (which is rare for me, I'm normally fairly caring) and if I hadn't gone through some self discovery B.S. I'd probably hate her now. You need to be careful, being an attention whore could mean you end up with no one.

You can believe what you want.

I'm not a life coach. You can take or leave what I have to say. What I've posted here has been helpful to me. It might not be helpful to you at this time.

A lot of people have limiting beliefs - 'I can't do this', 'this isn't possible', etc. A positive attitude is often sneered at. In fact, most people wallow in a miserable existence. They won't admit it to themselves but they ENJOY negativity.

As for loving everyone... no, but I'm getting there. I feel so much better for dropping shit like prejudism. Once you realise that we're all connected, it's hard to hate people anymore. You have compassion for them... and I don't mean feeling sorry for them in a 'I'm superior to you' way. When you truly love yourself (not arrogance. Arrogance is actually low self esteem), it's easier to love others.

Anyways, enjoy being scared. 'if I hadn't gone through some self discovery BS' - Eh? How is self discovery BS? Lying to yourself is BS.

Sounds like you're lumping me in with religious fanatics, silly comedy guru figures, cults... whatever, not my problem. Project onto me whatever you wish.

It seems en vogue to be edgy, snidey and unpleasant these days. I can think of several UKFF regulars like this. Every post is a whinge or a needless attack on someone else. I can't fathom how someone can take time out of their day to 'flame' someone else. Many people here are attached to illusory superiority. 'WOW! I won an argument with cyberboy4171 about the chord structure of Knocking On Heaven's Door! I bet he feels like a right dolt!'. You just have to look at that post about the 11 year old girl hanging herself for proof of this.

Exchanging ideas + opinions~~~. Attacking others''''.

So come on UKFF, let's make positivity cool again

Ok at college this time last week, I complimented this girl, saying "you look nice, seems the gym workouts paid off, and love the haircut too", just being friendly if you will, the next day I turn up for Media, shes grabbed a seat to where I usually sit, I thought nothing of it, but she was making these suggestive faces. I thought it was fun, next day I turn up in the college cafe to have some breakfast since I was in a rush. Sat down with a mate, then she comes along and sits at our table, "Ok if I sit here?" she says, I couldnt really tell her to fuck off in public so I just said "Sure, no problem", then my mate sitting next to me starts making the "Finger Fuck" sign, When you loop you fingers with one hand, you get what I mean..., had Friday off Sat and Sun too, Yesterday, caught her following me home we chatted, she said she didnt get the violent porn ban, I was like "Mmm yeah" meaning I couldnt give a shit, Then today was the icing on the cake, she wore these leather boots with heels in the cafe, was on my own this time, and she said "I want you to take my boot off and put the heel in my fanny", I choked on my drink and simply left. SHES CRAZY I TELL YOU!

Jeez, women can be scary...

How does a guy tell her he's not interested?

I'm not attacking you or your beliefs, heaven knows I don't know enough about you to do something like that. I just stated my opinions on some of the thing's you've said while having something to vent some frustration by it. No harm meant, and my sincere apologies to any hurt or offense caused.

No worries, I wasn't offended and don't get offended much ever anymore. I was just making a general point, the flaming stuff wasn't about you, I was going off on a tangent.

having had more than my fair share of crazies over the years, let me tell you this, they might be mental but the sex will be great.

in fact, that girl already sounds awesome to me! at least she let you know where you stand

What are you talking about? Take off her boot and put it in her fanny.

That's something to tell the grandchildren.

<JustMe posts a 'hilarious' picture in which a pro wrestling rulebreaker is inserted in a woman's vagina.>

I have to concur with this man. I, unfortunately, was nicknamed "The Loonyfucker" at uni by my friends because of me unerring ability to find all the crazies for gfs or flings. But yes, the sex was absolutely amazing.


Lister, are you about to go to war with Just Me? Or did you post that to make sure that he wouldn't post said picture?

Amazing where a compliment can lead eh? Anyway, today went well, I told her I wasnt interested and she backed off and was in a foul mood with me and went on to some other poor sod, well guess I wont be seeing her for a while, I'd oblige if you will, but

1) I'm not into THAT kind of sex

2) I wouldnt want any broken bones, if you can see where I'm coming from.

MAN UP and stick a boot in her fanny.

I think that I'll live to regret that quoteage , I'm not into that stuff!, Its the really violent stuff...

For god sake man how can you live with yourself when you've walked away from such a tremendous sexual opportunity?

Golden rule of life - If you think you will have to sleep with one eye open because she's crazy the sex will more than compensate for the inconvenience.


Oh, and Lister: Stop being a grumpy old bastard.

i dont see how that kind of sexual activity would be anything other than painful.....really cant imagine anything more uncomfortable than a boot heel in there.......

.....apart from a sword, obviously.....

As usual Jasmine, you're living on the cutting edge again.

ok i understand one side of that double entendre being the sword, but im not getting the other half of it...

Cattus, Medievil Mace, the whole boot......

sword is still the worst

I'll save you some time; there's not a joke there to find.

'Fanny' is probably the least erotic word to describe a woman's pussy I can think of. To me, anyways. It's just horrible and reminds me of being a schoolkid a seeing a big, wide, 'Escort' bush for the first time when you chip in with all your mates. Ugh.

Still, you definitely should have done it.

Right. Thanks.

Agreed. A GIRL told me this one as well...Axe wound!

"Rub my axe wound"

There's romantic.......

Ive always thought 'Vagina's the most unpleasent word for it. Either that or Flange

Flange is one of the best words to describe it as it's a bit like "flan." Mmmmm... FLAN~!

you guys

Agreed on the hatred of 'fanny'.

Even 'cum bucket' is more of a turn on.

Try "beef curtains" or "vertical bacon sandwich".

They're meaty though, not sweet.

Yup, my ways have finally landed me in trouble.

I have no idea what to do here guys but let me explain what happened.

Bassically i was meant to meet Amy (Plan B) on Sunday, but honestly couldnt be bothered so told her sommit came up and couldnt go. Later that day a random girl adds me on msn posing as a girl called Kelsey who "had added the wrong person" yet still started asking me questions about my love life. Im an open person so told her flat out that i liked a girl called Carly but this other girl called Amy liked me but i wasnt too keen on her. Cue Amy (who was online at the same time) changing her screen name to "Life is shit" and started getting cryptic with me saying now she knows how people truley feel about her. Obviously the penny dropped as soon as i saw her msn screen name but didnt let on that i knew. Throught some fucking miracle i somehow managed to talk my way out of it which leads to me today. I kept getting txts off Amy today whilst at college and couldnt bare it any longer, i came home and sure enough there she was on msn waiting. I told her i knew about what she'd done and that i couldnt trust her anymore (ohh the irony). She kept appoligising and i logged off. When i came back on i was greeting my an e-mail which bassically said that she was sorry and that she had never felt about a boy this way and that she said she loved me......................what.....the......fuck!!

The brown stuff has hit the spinning air device and i dunno what to do, somebody help!!! [Saddam] I can channggeee[/Saddam]

You idiot. That was quite the dumb move.

I'm taking back my "Romdford Hoop = UKFF's Studmuffin" quote please.

I am so gonna mutter 'Vertical Bacon Sandwich' into my g/f's ear during my next and, presumably, final sexual encounter.

Sooo worth it.

Just so we are clear, i didnt fuck anything up, she just is obsessed with me.

And you can NEVER take back my studmuffin label, its going to get me through life dammit!