email her? start off that way then casually bump into her in her area or something, or just make an effort to walk near where she works more, then gradually start chatting that kinda thing. It's all about tact.

Bada Bada Bada Bada BING BING BING!

Correct advice, that is of course assuming you like her too. Two to tango and all that. If you do follow the above advice, which for a women seems utterly and astonishingly sensible.

If you don't however have to same feelings, go for the caring and sensitive route, by just point blank telling her, politely obviously. Something along the lines of "Hey, look, I'll get straight to the point, there's no need to be embarassed everytime you see me. Honestly, it's a common thing, there is no shame involved."

Kidding.

A sensitive apporach of obviously the choice though.

Of course my advice is correct, I have spent half my life wishing a guy would do that. I'm tellin ya king boy, if you do like her, then go about it the non obvious way. Wander round her side of the office, casually stopping to ask how her day is going, take an interest in her work. If you're brave enough, offer her help if her workload is heavy and yours is light. Then, if you're helping her with work, you can get into the email side of things. Maybe email her to say you've finished something for her and when would she like you to bring it round. BAM! Once you're in with the emails, then you're in there. This is of course assuming that you like her too.

If you don't, then just don't talk to her!

I wouldn't e-mail. Maybe I've just had bad experiences or something but e-mail and text messages are never good. Both people (particularly the girl) overanalyse the words and can misconstrue what's being said. Also you have the 'how long to leave it before I reply so I don't seem desperate' bullshit. Face to face always works better in relationship matters IMHO. Phone calls are ok.

Are romantically orientated e-mails really appropriate in the workplace? I dunno - I'm a student.

Yes, be tactful. Get to know her a little. Don't go thinking up elaborate excuses to go see her, though. There's no shame in looking for love.

What's the UKFF's view on office romance? I'm not sure of mine... but I'm probably more against than for. King's situation seems fine, as the girl's in another department. But going out with someone in your working proximity seems like shitting on your own doorstep to me.

Oh yeah, social suicide

I think emails in work are ok, because you have an excuse to email back quickly ie, bored, no work to do, or leave it longer to get a little bit of anticipation ie, loadsa work, but she doesnt know that. In emails, just have to be careful you're keeping it simple. If you can't then don't email.

I'm quite the shy person. I have recently found out that a certain girl likes me, she's a great lass and I quite like her, but not in the lovey dovey sense, but in the friendship sense. This has nothing to do with telling her or anything but because I am awfuly shy and I don't make much conversation with her, I seem to be giving her the impression that I don't like her. I don't like the feeling I get from her thinking I don't like her. I think I need to become a bit more confident and start talking to her and have conversation. Any tips on conversation making?

Maybe my e-mails and texts to girls are too complex. Must be the writer in me! Most girls are at anything other than 'i fink u is fit init'

From what I gather, King doesn't know this girl too well. To me, e-mail get-to-know-yous take away the adrenaline rush of those first few face to face conversations.

Having said that, I know very little about workplace romance dynamics. I've only worked temp jobs in shops, fruit farms, warehouses and touristy places. I've only been out with one girl I met at work, and that's because she joined my uni.

Ooh, and HBAndy... sounds like this girl did like you all along, but I think you probably missed the boat. I might sound like a sexist bastard here, but girls are very 'feeling' based. They live in the moment more than we do. Once us blokes are hooked, we're hooked. A girl's feelings fluctuate more often. So I'd guess she did like you, but now she's changed her mind... so she wants to pretend it was all bullshit in the first place, as her get-out clause.

That's why it's important not to pussyfoot around once you're getting on well. A lot of blokes (myself included) don't strike while the iron is hot... and end up getting burned when the iron is cold

I'm glad you've started seeing another girl. Hope you have fun.

Quick question,

My girlfriend is away with her family in turkey for two weeks,its been 4 days so far and im going insane,can only talk to her for like 10 mins a day or so and its driving me mad,it seems ages and ages since shes back,when i spoke to her earlier she told me that two guys tryed chatting her up early and im all paranoid,if anyone could put my mind at ease i will be most thankful.

Yeah, just go up to her and open your mouth. Hopefully words will come out

Seriously, talk about some common ground you share... stuff about mutual friends, the area you live, shared interests etc. If it's not too alien for ya, you might wanna try asking about her on a meaningful level. Stuff like 'what's your favourite band?' and 'what does your Dad do?' are fine, but not all that interesting.

When I meet a girl I'm interested in, I like to find out about her on a personal level. Obviously you gotta establish some trust before asking this stuff, but people really enjoy talking about themselves on a deeper level than the generic materialistic chit chat.

These sorta questions actively 'qualify' a girl which makes them feel you're interested in her beyond T+A and encourages her to make a little effort. You have to keep a light tone, otherwise it could be perceived as a job interview type deal.

Examples -

What's your gig? (ask this first to pique curiosity... then explain its meaning - 'what makes you unique?')

What's your best quality?

If you could overcome one fear what would it be?

What in your life do you value most?

What will you be doing in ten years time?

How important is (a particular quality) to you?

Friends - quality or quantity?

If you had as much money as Bill Gates, what would you be doing right now for fun?

Do you believe that there is more to this world than what meets the eye?

What values are most important to you that you live your life by?

Who are your role models?

If you could be a man for a day what would you do?

What's your best memory from childhood?

If you could go anywhere, where would it be?



Try to avoid questions that'll get a girl ranting, i.e. political shit or stuff about her pet peeves. Keep it positive.

No offence, but I suspect that's your problem, not hers. Attractive women get chatted up constantly. Usually more than attractive men.

In what manner was she telling you this? Did it seem like she was saying it to make you jealous? Or was she saying 'I have to be honest and tell you I was chatted up earlier on. I was flattered but obviously not interested'. If it's the latter, you have nothing to fear. If it's the former, maybe she doesn't deserve your trust.

Do you trust her? If so, you shouldn't worry. If you don't trust her, why is that? Ask yourself honestly- has she done anything to earn your distrust or is it just that you're a distrusting person? If you're a distrusting person, consider why that is and try not to project your distrust onto your girlfriend.

If you don't trust her, this is something you should discuss with her. If she flirts with other guys, tell her that she should choose between that and being with you. It's not harsh of you to demand that.

Bloody hell, this post must have about a million 'if's.

Sorry if the above offends you in any way.

didnt offend me at all.

Put my mind at ease,many thanks.

If you confirm that she's in Marmaris then I'm sure I can keep an eye on her, i leave for there in 9 days, and I know the hotel places back to front.

Jambo tries to get a sly shag out of a ukff thread... all amatuers take note lol

You're probably right, she definitely seemed interested at one point but I really don't give a shit now...It's all about the new girl. There really is something between us that causes us to open up and embrace each other more than we've embraced lifetime friends in our lives.

We should be going out for a meal on Friday and then heading on into town I think, that's what I've offered anyway and she just wants to meet up.

If nothing happens, thats fine, I just want us both to have a great time with each other before we go to Uni.

A point I was thinking about was that the grass isn't always greeener on the other side, we could both go to Uni expecting these connections to happen with everyone we meet, but we both told each other that nothing quite like this between US has happened in either of our lives before. It's something which rarely comes along.

I'm reminded of Garden State. I'm Zach Braff and she's Natalie Portman.

Thanks Sparkmeister.

Uni will change everything. That much is certain.

What does your dad do? HAHA Sorry if this sounds rude but would that not give her the impression I'm interested in her dad? LOL, sorry. Well after a nights worth of MSN chat, the weather is shit up here so no-one went out tonight, I found out she thinks I'm funny, cute and she particularly liked how I defended my passion for wrestling when all my mates challenged me about it. She has now asked me to accompany her to the cinema on Friday. I said yes, she's got school tomorrow so that's where tonight's chat finished off.

See, I'm quite the talker on the Instant Messaging service but not in person, lol. Will need to work on my face to face talking skills, LOL.

I'm sure it will, and I'm looking forward to it. But, these kind of things which we experience when with one another is something of a rarity to say the least.

I like a few of those questions too, certain questions get them to think positively and if they are positive and happy, they'll be more embracing to you.

Just see how things go really, that's my advice. But you will meek a LOT of people at uni and things could change dramatically. Keep an open mind and enjoy the ride!

My mind is going to be wide open, who knows what could happen between even just now and then AND beyond, it's exciting times and I don't want to be not embracing to the Uni life because I'm hung up about this girl.

Fuck. I seriously understand what you're talking about here, you talk sense.

This thread has had over 4,000 views and 221 posts. I think everyone's a nosey bugger...

Get involved people, there must be some heartache or ecstacy you've been through which you could share with us others could nosey at.

A girl that appreciates your passion for wrestling! Marry her now

BTW, the 'what does your Dad do?' question was my example of a BAD question to ask a girl.

Soooo...

Say someone you knew used a not quite legal method to find out his Ex Girlfriend's address, just so he could send her a various CD he made while thinking about her, that she would have no idea who it's from and he'd have no idea if she got it/liked it...

Would you think that person was strange? Or dangerous?

well, if someone did that to me I would find it quite flattering that someone had gone to so much effort...but it depends on the situation of break up.

I think you're both strange and dangerous.....and a tad romantic.

Thanks for the advice about my situation , a small update. On Monday I found out that Apparently this girl has a boyfriend but things arent going well for them, but she said if things break off she will give me her number. Now today she has given the guy on reception her e-mail address to pass on to me. I dont know what to say in the e-mail because I see it as a bit informal as I would like to speak to her face to face, but whenever I see her she looks embarrassed and is always with a group of people.

Again any help is appreciated

hmmm...well she obviously wants you to email her as she has given you her email address. She probably wants you to email her in a chatty way just to get talking. But, this is probably going to be hard for you to do as you're not sure what to say.

Sooooo, my suggestion is, find something funny to email a few people, and forward it onto her too, that way, she has the opportunity to email you back and compliment you on your funnyness and general all round greatness and you're sucked into conversation.

Don't feel bad about going it the email way, if she wanted to speak to you she would have made the effort to bump into you whilst she was alone, TRUST ME. Us girls will do whatever it takes when we have our mind set on something, and if that means stalking you(or have someone else do it) to catch you alone, we will.

The fact that she has passed on her email says alot, and shows she wants to chat with you, but without her embarrassed red face standing in the way.The fact that she has a boyfriend and things aren't going well is something you need to be careful about, as you could end up in a situation where she dumps her boyfriend to be with you. If that is what you want, and what she wants, then fine, but you need to tread carefully.

DO NOT flirt outrageously, respect she still has a boyfriend, and if she tries it on, refuse. She needs to know you have boundaries. If you state clearly there is NO involvement whilst she is taken, she will soon have to decide what her plan is, and in such time you will have a better understanding of your part in the situation.

New girl in my college who apparently likes me. She talks about me all the time apparently. Now she's hot for a guy like me.

A mate asked her out for me as a joke and she's supposedly said yes. What should I do next......should I ask her to meet up or should I wait until she asks me incase it's all a windup?

Intermediaries suck ass. From personal experience, I had a girl who eventually turned out to REALLY like me actually deny it when I asked her if what a mutual friend had told me was true.

Just talk to her. Geez, it's not that complicated. Sorry, but it's not. You don't actually say if you like her...so do you? If so, she's at college with you. Take it easy - if you're in the same classes, just wait until the end of a class some day and ask her if she fancies a drink. If you're with friends (and ideally she is too) then it's low pressure and you can chat to her and get the lie of the land. If you get on and still think she's interested, you can easily ask to call her/see her again when you're leaving the pub. If things go REALLY well, you can easily enough slip away to another venue/stay at that place after everyone else leaves and take things from there.



Is there anything on there that might give you away?

I'd think it pretty strange. Then again, if it's completely anonymous, why do it? And why worry? She's never going to figure out who it's from. And yeah, it depends on how you broke up. If it was bitter and nasty, she may find it very creepy. I would. Then again, if it was pretty good-natured (say because one of you was moving away or some such) then it's not AS creepy, but still slightly creepy.

Unless the songs are things like Kim and Puke, then I wouldn't have thought "dangerous" would be my first thought.

Hey now, I didn't say it was me...

What songs did you choose?

Die, Die My Darling had to be track 1.

Can anyone help me out?

Had a few encounters with a young lady, she is heading off to university in the next week, so its not really a relationship, its more just a few fun dates together. Anyway, one night I ended up giving her breasts nicknames and she found that good fun and laughed a lot at my stupid suggestions. She then said, "we need to do other things like that", so obviously I wouldn't mind making her laugh like that again, so can anyone else recommend any activities akin to this?

Name her asscheeks.

Give her minge a boys name.

Glue her breasts together and say they are now siamese twins

Draw a beard on one in permanent marker and say it's had a sex change. It now wishes to be reffered to as "Clive McNorkson".

Cliff.

Well, guys and gals, my fans and foes alike...I got the "Just Friends" talk.

WHAT THE FUCKS AHSGAGBANMFI AHGNCBAN !!!!!!!! GAAAAAAH!

When I get to Uni, I'm going caveman style.

Fuck this shit.

Just remember not to put all those action figures up on the wall in alphabetical order of each one's birth-town or anything geeky and you'll be fine.

Thanks.

I just need to vent now, and really wonder what the hell is going on. I'm confused how it can be that good (and it was, even today) but what the hell? Why not just give it a go?!

Also, last night, I got with the other girl from earlier in the thread who cast me away last week...

Seriously though, if you're going away to uni then why bother? It's like starting a new life in uni, you'll forget about the other two girls in no time.

I know, I know, but I'm someone who lives in the moment and doesn't really see the time ahead untill I'm in that space and time. It's something which is freeing at times, but very dumb at other times. (For example, my money situation for Uni is shit because I didn't work enough and went out too much, thus having a good time now but setting myself up for a fall further down the line).

Also if you don't do it you may regret it, have no regrets!

Precisely!

If I ever am really worried about something or something is getting me down, I stop for a moment and think of my own mortality and it just calms me, it sort of makes me feel that nothing really matters and live for the moment. It makes me think that if I don't take risks now and die tomorrow I'd be rather annoyed.

I am ridiculously idealistic to the point of annoyance to myself though.

*Warning, farily drunk rant*

Your going to Uni, the land of honey and milk with women. Go to Uni and forget about it. That's my advise after being in the same boat as you (lovely cliche), go to Uni with a free mind and conscience, knowing you'll pull fitter and nicer birds.

Dunno if that makes sense or wot, but fuck it and go uni. You'll love it.

That was my point too.

I've recently come to the "fuck it" conclusion. I'm trying not to let anyone get to me and keep thinking "Fuck it, when will I ever see these people again?" which is giving me a bit more confidence.

I know all this and I can't wait, but at the moment I'm still in this time and space and therefore so is my head.

I appreciate it all though guys. You are very lovely people and your mothers should be proud.

I *really* hope I clog this thread up in the first few weeks of Uni with various explicit postings.

first year of Uni is mint. By the sounds of this thread you'll love it, mind you you'll be posting in this thread loads!

Some of you in t his thrwad may remember a post a made in the first few pages bout a girl. Well, I wasn't over her. I'll tell you know getting over someone is one of the best feelings there is! I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, truly awesome.

EDIT : Ridiculous Paranoia on my part, ignore. its been resolved