Bit of background to this one, in the days leading up to this show, Low-Ki had one of his fallings out with ROH, and left the company ‘for good’. Then, the sucky weather led to TNA pulling Alex Shelley, Jay Lethal and Homicide off the show, and Matt Sydal and Claudio missing flights. ROH promised fans they’d make it up to them, and if they didn’t like it, they could ask for a refund up until the third match on the card. That’s why the show is called…
ROH - Unscripted 2
Colt Cabana cuts a promo on Homicide, talking about how he’d tried to murder him, like Big Daddy murdered King Kong Kurt…umm, libel?
Match one is scheduled to be a students match up, but Adam Pearce comes out to interject himself into the ‘midgets’ match, squashing them both in awesome style and taking a seat at ringside to see what the surprise is, first hand.
Adam Pearce Vs Pelly Primaue Vs Mitch FranklinPearce takes them both out with piledrivers and a top rope splash onto them both. Shortest of squashes, Pearce is pretty cool at this kind of thing.
Nana cuts a typically great promo backstage, promising a huge surprise for AmDrag.
Next up is a typically barking in ring promo from Julius Smokes, who says he’s got the truly awful Grim Reefer to fight Colt Cabana tonight…but instead they get CM Punk! That’s your surprise folks, the Straight Edge lady killer himself. The fans start chanting “Fuck The Refund”…Mission Accomplished.
Punk chases off the Rottweilers, and cuts a promo on how he has trouble making friends and his tattoos wont rub off. But before he can go any further, he gets jumped form behind by Pearce, until Cabana makes the save. Prince Nana comes out to take the opportunity to laugh at his former enemy, Punk.
Punk tells Colt he’s here to tell him to leave his feud with Homicide alone, before he gets killed. Colt says the days of Punk being his father figure are over, and Punk leaves, promising anyone who wants to jump him that he takes his gear with him everywhere, like any good worker…
Wow, that segment was just all over the place. It’s pretty understandable though, only something like Punk making a surprise appearance would mollify the fans, and they needed to set up a logical way to get him on the show. still, lots of run ins and promos and fighting in about ten minutes kind of made the fans’ heads spin.
Colt Cabana Vs The Grim ReeferThe purpose of this match is too get Colt over as a changed man, so he doesn’t crack a smile as he batters the indy job boy all over the arena. If anything, this was too long. Reefer isn’t coming back, Cabana needs momentum in his feud, so he should’ve just clobbered him for five minutes then put him away with something gross. Instead, Reefer is allowed to get some offence in, which is of course silly indy things like a Satellite Crossface and an avalanche DDT. Remember when that stuff was for finishers? Anyway, eventually Colt lariats the goon in the face for the win. Bit of a waste of time, that.
Ricky Reyes Vs Kid MikazeMikaze is shiiiite, really, really bad. A skinny, flippy, Indy stereotype. Reyes is rocking his Taz gimmick at the moment, so this match is by the numbers – Mikaze makes the most of the depleted card tonight by pulling out every ghey move in his arsenal, and Reyes chucks him around a lot before tapping him out with his Dragon Sleeper finish. Average squash.
Austin Aries Vs Nigel McGuinnessThe best ever Pure Title match was between Austin Aries and Samoa Joe. He can’t pull something that great out here, but it’s still a nice little match indeed. The problem with the Pure Title rules is that it encourages too many matches to follow the same formula of submission and rope break. This match kind of falls into that trap, but there’s enough else going on to keep you interested.
Nigel is a guy who really made a home for himself in ROH by marrying the granny baiting Dixon style (Which translates well to a crowd who fantasise about being a part of the show) to the current vogue in British Lightweight holds and reversals that was sparked by Hero and Williams. He gets a great heel reaction in most ROH venues, and simple stuff like giving people the V’s gets a great response. The V’s > Flipping the bird.
Aries is unfairly tagged as a Jerry Lynn type move machine. In reality, his character of elite wrestler is a simple but effective one, and he’s had many stand out matches beyond mirror spots and eight zillion near falls.
Some nice little stories in this one. Nigel is prepared for Aries and blocks a lot of his trademarked spots, until Aries finally scores with his (Best in North America) tope, then he goes for all his trademarks again twice as fast, as a big fuck you to Nigel for thinking him so easy to read.
The crowd were feeling an upset at points here, Aries eventually manages to hit his 450 for a red hot two count, but his injured ribs wouldn’t allow him to make an effective cover. Soon after Nigel locked in a arm submission in the ropes for the clean tap out. Great match, Aries continues his run of top quality singles matches in ROH and Nigel is dominant as ever in Pure matches. Hard to see who’ll take the belt from him.
Roderick Strong comes out to a good reception to talk about being the number one contender. This brings out BJ Whitmer, who tells Rodders that he is fed up of other people being put in spots he could easily fill…well, if you say so, Bud. Strong agrees to put his shot on the line tonight against Whitmer, should be clubbertastic. This brings out AmDrag who tells Strong to fuck off and leads to a struggle, whilst fat ROH Student and gimp mask ROH student separate them, Nana reappears with AmDrag’s mystery opponent; the man that no-one wanted to see back in ROH, Xavier! It’s Night Of The Honourable Former Champs Of No Respect…or something.
Xavier Vs Bryan DanielsonNot bad at all. Sure, Xavier is sloppy as you like, and towards the end when he gets nervous he’s into full on “What do I do next” mode, but this is Danielson’s match. And boy, if this guy isn’t the best young wrestler in America I’m not sure who is. He uses his dickhead heel persona to smooth over the rough edges in the match, and brings an intensity that nicely masks Xavier’s wacky bumping style. But my favourite moment of the match was Xavier’s tope, he looked like he really didn’t care what happened to him, he just wanted to blast AmDrag, lovely.
In the end (After the match started to fall to bits a little, thanks to Xavier choking) AmDrag has the Cattle Mutilation locked in when Rave jumps him for the DQ. Punk runs out to make the save, is quickly attacked by Pearce, and both heels quickly beat them down.
After a quick barrage of objects from the crowd (Including Nana hilariously bumping for some toilet roll to the face) and some back and forth on the mike between Danielson and Punk, the match is made for later in the evening – Punk and Danielson Vs Rave and Pearce.
Jimmy Yang Vs Jason Blade Vs Jerrel Clarke Vs AzrielBag Of Wank.
Roderick Strong Vs BJ WhitmerPretty solid match from two guys ROH are increasingly looking too to carry the promotion. Whitmer’s biggest selling point has always been his ability to shrug off serious head wounds, so it’s a credit to them both that this match isn’t based around him getting dumped on his turnip for once.
Strong needs a bit of work on facial expressions and in ring chatter, but apart form that he’s a pretty hot prospect in the US at the moment. He lays it in to BJ all match long, and only pulls out two backbreakers; I guess both guys wanted to prove there’s more to them than what it says on their respective tins.
I just have to point out (Because I never write a review without mentioning it) that the retard fans are out in FORCE tonight. What a bunch of fucking mutants. One guy in particular seems to have bought a front row ticket just to ruin everyone else’s night with his dumb comments. Must be a PWG fan.
Anyway, both guys give it their all, with plenty of stiff shots but no straying into ridiculous head dropping, puro finisher territory, like the last match. Strong puts him away with the Gibson Driver (He and Gibson had a mentor/student angle when they were both in ROH). My only critism of the match is the fans didn’t seem to think Whitmer had a chance. If TNA continue the way they are, they’ll have to learn…
CM Punk and Bryan Danielson Vs Jimmy Rave and Adam PearceThis was FUN. Not going to break into anyone’s MOTYC list, but a much better goodbye match for Punk than the mess with Colt Cabana was. He’s forever been a wrestler who works his opponents match, put him in the ring with Chris Hero and Punk will produce a depressing Indy wank fest that’ll make you hate wrestling forever. But against guys like Pearce and Rave he’s incredibly watchable. The Rave feud was tons of fun the first time round, and the reprise of it here is great to see. Rave is still shit scared of Punk, but Punk beat Jimmy conclusively, so he starts off amused by the irony of them meeting again until he’s pushed too far and snaps.
Danielson is great, yet again. No-one has been more consistently awesome throughout the history of ROH than AmDrag, and his versatile style and grasp of crowd work make him perfect to carry the belt. He produces the moment of the night here with an RVD style somersault into the crowd, a move he hasn’t used in a match for about two years. That’s how you protect a spot.
Rave, Nana and Pearce are all heat machines as usual, Rave continues down the road to becoming a vital part of ROH (If he isn’t already) and Pearce is the guy I never knew I liked so much. I’m glad the TNA de-emphasising means bigger roles for both in ROH.
You know Punk isn’t going to be doing any jobs here, and it’s he who picks up the win, with an Anaconda Vise on Jimmy Rave. After the match, Danielson cuts a promo thanking Punk for turning up to save the day, and tells him if he ever wants to get back into the wrestling business, he can have a title shot.
Remember I mentioned that retarded guy in the front row above? He was also the only guy shouting “sell out” at Punk. And with the crowds blessing, Punk proceeds to destroy the guy on the mike, old school style, before thanking the fans for everything and running outside to makes snow angels. The crowd mill around him, throwing snowballs and laughing. It’s a surreal end to a crazy show, ROH managed to salvage what could’ve been a disaster and turn it into a memorable night for the fans. It’s not going to sell a ton of DVDs or go down in history as a night a line was crossed, but this could’ve easily killed the town for ROH if not for some quick thinking on the bookers part, and a big favour from an old hand.