ROH – Hell Freezes Over.
More from that fed we all love to scream “Why must you do these things!?” at.
Austin Aries and Roderick Strong start off the show in the ring, celebrating their new Tag Title win. They look a bit gay in matching shirts and trousers, but very old school tag team. Aries sends Strong to the back and calls out Reyes, who’s been attacking his students, so we have…
Austin Aries Vs Ricky Reyes
This was alright. Aries nails his tope, which is the best you’ll see this side of Mexico, easily. Reyes fights back with his Nuevo Taz offence. It’s short, and the finish comes when Reyes locks on his Dragon Sleeper but Aries bridges back for the pin. Reyes hangs on and chokes him out after the match.
Nice little video package for the top five rankings follows,
Colt Cabana and Adam Pearce cut promos back stage. One is good, one isn’t.
Nigel McGuinness Vs Tony Mameluke
This is for the Muga Title. Nigel looks genuinely pissed off during this, so he does none of his usual All Star mugging, and instead just really lays into Mameluke. Some nice spots in this, both guys really cutting lose with some stiff offence, but Tony’s cod-MMA style and Nigel’s slippery heel matwork don’t seem to mesh well. Also, the finish is a stupid MMA style thing, as Tony goes for some ground and pound and gets caught in a Kimura. It makes no sense for Nigel to be doing these dodgy shoot work type things, and really ruined the match for me.
Jimmy Rave and Alex Shelley Vs Claudio Castagnoli and Azriel
The Embassy are wicked over as heels in ROH, Rave in particular, and they get a barrage of toilet paper as a weirdly ironic gesture of contempt from the crowd. Azriel, a wrestler without merit, is replacing the injured Colt Cabana in this match. He blows a bunch of simple stuff, and complicated stuff, and only shows a bit of fire once, when he kicks the beejesus out of Rave’s back.
Claudio is his usual consistent self, producing some fine comedy with Rave early on and his usual array of uppercuts and flash moves later. Here’s what I like about Jimmy Rave- he’s shit, and he knows it. So he uses that as part of his character, playing the guy who knows he’s out of his depth (Which he really is) and needs to take short cuts to win. This means he’s good. Did that make any sense?
Alex Shelley is the star here, as he increasingly is nowadays. He really has got those little things down that you need to be an obnoxious heel, sneering and goofing his way through a painful looking serious of moves of Azriel. He’s rapidly becoming one of my favourite guys currently working.
Pretty good match overall, worked to a simple tag structure, with the skinny spot merchant getting stretched for the majority of the match, Double C getting the hot tag and Rave winning in the chaos at the end. Nice finish in fact, as Rave can’t get his version of the Pedigree so turns it into a double arm submission.
Next up we take a step onto Planet BizarROH, for an FIP segment. From what I can tell, this is on the show so that they can get the FIP title off Homicide as quickly as possible now that his shoulder is fucked up. It’s slated to be Homicide Vs Roderick Strong, but apparently in FIP the wrestlers do all their own booking (No, that’s really what they said) so Bryan Danielson adds himself to the match. Then Colt Cabana jumps Homicide from the crowd. This is a confusing mix of storylines and characters from both shows, ouch.
Any who, Homicide gets taken to the back by his thugs, and AmDrag and Strong have one hell of an entertaining brawl through the crowd. They get back to the ring and Homicide reappears, only to get quickly taken down by AmDrag into a Fujiwara. The referee stops the match and Danielson is the new champ. The whole thing felt like it took about ten minutes, it would’ve been a hot segment, but really made no sense in the context of an ROH show…
Christopher Daniels Vs Jay Lethal
Alison Danger. Man, she’s desirable. Jay Lethal is apparently “the hottest free agent in wrestling” which is quite ironic as ROH will have let him go a month after this show. Mind you, the same commentary team once called Slyk Wagner Brown the future of ROH.
Pretty good match here, Lethal plays the cocky up and comer (And calls a guy who makes fun of his corn rows a “Racist Bigot Motherfucker”) and Daniels is the unimpressed veteran. Really neat spot early on as Lethal goes for a sunset flip from the apron and Daniels just sidesteps him and kills him with a palm strike. Lethal looks good controlling the majority of the match, that ends when Daniels cuts back a cradle for the three.
Post match, Joe runs out to attack Lethal, but gets beat down by Daniels and Lethal until BJ Whitmer appears and dumps Daniels on his bald head with an exploder. As Danger helps Daniels up, Joe hits him with a huge running kick. The way Alison dives on Daniels to defend him really makes the segment. Also, I love her.
Jack Evans Vs Adam Pearce Vs Sal Rinauro Vs Jason Blade Vs Kid Mikaze Vs Trik Davis
This was the best match ever. Actually, I think it gave me cancer.
Evans won with a 630. He also took a ludicrous bump that involved him missing a KENTA style Busaiku Knee kick and sailing over the top rope. Gross.
Adam Pearce is a weird guy. He kind of works what’s either a tribute to or a parody of a Southern Heel Style. So why not just get one of many actual Southern Heels in to do the original, and better? Strange.
Samoa Joe Vs BJ Whitmer
Mmmm, more Indy eye candy. Lacey is delicious, especially in a suit. This is a match between two guys who both take a lot of punishment and have a lot of offence, and it works how you’d expect. Lots of stiff strikes and big moves, including Whitmer nearly killing Joe with an exploder onto concrete. Joe wins by knockout with a kick to the head, and man, you believe it. Whitmer’s hard head may be his only upside as a wrestler, but he was pulled to something decent by Joe here.
AJ Styles Vs Matt Sydal
Sydal is a small guy with lots of very flashy moves and surprisingly good punches (I guess that has something to do with working for Ian Rotten a lot) He can do underdog babyface well but he’s nothing amazing. AJ…is AJ. He’s capable of being very good when his opponent reigns him in shit loads, but in an Indytastic match he’s deplorable.
I guess your enjoyment of this match is going to be down to taste. They partake in some very smooth exchanges, hit some very complex and impressive high spots and don’t blow anything. If your kind of thing is the Indy Dream Match type affair, then you’ll probably enjoy this a huge amount.
However, it did suffer from feeling a little too much like an exhibition. The commentators put over how AJ was the veteran and Sydal the youngster, but the match was fifty-fifty offence wise. They made no effort to get over how AJ was above Sydal in the match work even though they were desperate to push that aspect on commentary. In the end, both guys are capable of a lot more when faced with an opponent they can take a kicking off and fight back from, in this kind of give and take environment it’s all too sterile. After some breathtaking spots, the pick of which were Sydal’s Moonsault to the third row and his high speed Ranas, AJ won with a roll through after a Hurracanrana.
In fact, for me the most entertaining part of this was AJ’s promo, just because he somehow managed to say “Don’t worry about faggots” to the crowd.
Joe promo’s are scary when he’s really close to the camera and all you can see is his big, evil nose. Pearce also cuts a promo, another decent one, complaining that one of the “Midgets and retards” Cornette keeps booking him against kicked him in the throat. I guess it’s funny because it’s true.
Bryan Danielson Vs Chris Hero
Hero appears through the crowd with a CDR and bullies the tech into putting his music on. Nice touch. He’s got Necro and a couple of generic CZW guys with him, as well as his own ref. Ever notice how Hero looks like what you’d get if CM Punk ate Doughnuts in a cupboard for six months?
Necro’s well over. And why not. Hero apes Punk really obviously when he cuts promos, but doesn’t do a bad job I guess. He also brings the Ken Livingston, by comparing Gabe Sapolsky to Hitler. Classy. (In fact, the amount of times that CZW have mentioned Sapolsky being Jewish in this feud is verging on the worrying. I find it strange people are still convinced they’re being booked as the babyface promotion…) It’s the by the numbers invasion promo. Nothing wrong with it, nothing that’ll blow your mind.
Hero does plenty of stalling, channelling his granny baiting Dixon days. AmDrag controls much of the early going, matwork all the way, with AmDrag’s flair for being a prick, but all to the delight of the fans this time, of course. Fair play to hero, he’s willing to be a cowardly heel, which makes a nicer counterpoint to AmDrag’s dick heel then more of the same would. Contrast folks, that’s the ticket, and Hero squirms and goofs and pleads with the ref like a good un. I still find a lot of what Hero does on the mat too polished and showy and not enough like he’s actually trying to win holds though. Although some of the hand work was nice and vicious.
Danielson is great as always. Great selling, literally screaming as Hero cranks on his fingers, and super fiery comebacks.
The match seems a little under whelming, I think a lot of that is to do with a crowd that just isn’t clicking with the match, I think a lot of that is down to Hero never really looking like he has the ammo to put Danielson away. It’s by no means bad, picks up in the closing stretch and AmDrag gets a good pop for tapping out Hero with the Chickenwing. But it wasn’t the huge heat filled extravaganza I was expecting the first CZW Vs ROH match to be. I guess as this match is the start of the feud it’s good not to have it feel too climactic though.
After the match, Nana tries to buy the ROH Title from Danielson. When he gets told his Ghanaian money aint worth shit, the Embassy jump in to attack the champ. Shelley gives AmDrag the Sliced Bread Number Two, then does Spanky’s dance afterwards. Cause it’s his weakness, you see? Even though Marufuji just lost a title match to him. Oh well.
Overall, an average show. Nothing you’ll want to go out of your way to see, a couple of decent bouts and one or two stinkers.
I’ve got ROH Dissention cued up to go next, but I have a NOAH show and an FIP show as well, so might do one of those next.
