I've got this terrible habit of sticking a tape in before I go to me bed and tape from some Sky Movies channel all night. I managed to watch "MXP: Most Xtreme Primate". I'm still recovering brahs from its horribleness.

I just watched Holes on Sky which, far from being a biopic of a multitalented whore is a very entertaining film about a "prison camp". There's a couple of story threads running through and it's a lot of fun.

Trivia note: DJM appears to have never been outside.

I had the misfortune to rent Razorblade Smile

What

The

Fuck

How is this so highly rated? It was laughable, absolutely laughable on every level. I find it hard to believe acting *so* pitiful could be put to film. It truly boggles the mind to think about a director that would watch the footage back and not be completely humiliated, let alone be pleased and think it's good enough to be released. This wasn't even entertaining on a 'so bad it's good' level, the dialogue was beyond cliched and utterly wretched, the sort of garbage that would come out of the mouth of a 15 year old 'goff'. Presumably, the people who actually think this has any merit are the sort who crack one off over the 10 minute freeviews on the mucky channels and have a folder full of Emily Booth caps. The worst thing I have ever seen, *ever*, and anyone who thinks this is anything more than the most excretable piece of turd ever put to screen should be legally registered as braindead. How could any director or screenwriter (the same guy in this case) possibly think that something of this standard is acceptable? If you liked this movie, FUCK YOU. Seriously, fuck you.

Minus infinity stars.

It sucks, but it's better than Underworld!

It's not. It has nothing, NOTHING. Even the hideously tacked on sex scenes reek of a pervy director giggling over the boobies and thinking it's 'erotic'. There wasn't an ounce of originality or worth in the entire movie, if you can call it a movie.

Nah mate - I thought it was shite as well.

Don't get me wrong, RBS is dreadful trash. I just hold it over Underworld because Underworld ripped it off.

Hahaha. Yeah, because RBS had that much influence. Nothing was ripped off, they both just used the same boring, overused vampire cliches that have been done a billion times before by every shitty director that wanted to live out his wank fantasy of a chick with pointy teeth running around in leather. Underworld was infinately better, and is only a **1/2 star movie at best.

Four Brothers

Embarrassing revenge drama featuring unlikeable, boring and often dumb characters that you simply will not give a shit about. Some good action, but that's about it. This is little more than a tough guy vehicle for Mark Wahlberg. Avoid at all costs, it's one of the worst films of the year.

Saw Nicholas Cage's new film "Lord Of War" at the cinema on Monday evening.

If your looking for action, then it's not really for you and at 2 hours seemed a little too long.

A good film though, and really thought provoking when you realise that it is all based on actual events.

Seed Of Chucky:

Most people think it's shite, but being a Chucky fan and liking things that few others do, I thought it was alright. Not the greatest ending though.

American Gothic (known in the UK as Hide & Shriek):

Low budget 80s horror about a group of people who end up on an isolated island, home to two elderly insane bible bashers and their three oddball children. Death, bizarreness and a twist of sorts. Not bad at all, and has one of my fave film deaths, with a man locked in a giant swing on the edge of a cliff, the swing being cut and the victim sent flying over the edge. Nice.

The Shining:

Brilliant. End of.

Its not just to try and lower the rating for cinema-goers, its also to take advantage of the DVD market. A nice little 2 DVD uncut version will be out within a few months. The film makers realise now that this is the way forward, deliberately cutting out many (often key) scenes instead of having a genuine 'directors cut'. Its getting a tad annoying now to the point I don't go the cinema half as much as before (almost as annoying as having 'outtakes' at the end of the film).

Currently watching an old classic, The Dirty Dozen on BBC1. I'd forgotten how good this was. Haven't seen it in years!

been watching disc 2 of "that 70s Show" season 2 its been pretty good so far

all the series of two pints of lager.
what a programme

Spartacus - I got the SE 2 disc for £4.99 at HMV and you can't go wrong with a bit of Kubrick, even if it is the least Kubrick of Kubricks films (How the hell did I say Kubrick that many times in a sentence). Its not the best film ever made but its very enjoyable, I thought some of the acting was very good and the dialogue was very well writen. I am also a sucker for that old style cinematography which was very cool.

The Wicker Man - Again the 2 disc SE but this time from Virgin at £2.99 (freakin steal). This was the first time I'd seen it and Its not bad. It hasn't aged very well in places, a lot of the music seems very out of place. The feel of the film reminds me that whilst it may of originated its story, many your not local genre horror films that preceded it have done a better job of showing its conventions. The main problem for me with the film is the poor cinematography, I know its low budget but there just didn't seem to have any flare. That being said I did enjoy it and Christopher Lee rules in anything so I think its worth watching for any of you that are wondering. I'm very surprised that know ones tried to remake it because with more money put into it and some decent cinematography it make for some very chilling stuff, just off the top of my head I'd love to see Takeshi Miike remake it (I don't know why).

In his version The Wicker Man itself would come to life and piss all over everyone while giving birth to a baby dog. Just because.

Land of The Dead - been looking forward to this, first off i was disappointed with the whole look/feel of the film, it comes off like most other modern zombie films (resident evil, dawn of the dead remake etc). i was hoping for a proper old school slow-paced chilling zombie movie, but fuck it i guess this is where Romero guessed the audience was (he's probably right too). That being said, i really enjoyed it...just a fun/action romp. Some great death scenes in this (most notable the scene with a severed arm & a grendade). I look forward to the dvd version.

Sniper - 23 Days of Fear In Washington D.C. - very good made-for-tv movie, the film cause controversy in the States because it's a basic re-telling of the sniper massacre that happened a few years back (the film was made less than a year after it happened). It's was a fucked up-situation and the film does well to capture the fear of the public and the desperation of the police during the time. Although the film just uses well-known facts to map out the story, it definatly got me interested in the case, there's a few books available (most notably a book by the chief of police - the main character in the film) which im gonna check out.

Watched Uptown Girls a couple of nights ago (......) with the wifey, because it was the only film in the house i hadn't seen that she'd agree to watch. Obviously not my cup of tea, but watchable shit I suppose. Brittany Murphy looks hot for once in it aswell.

Last night I watched From Dusk Til Dawn. In case anyone hasnt seen it, I shall put my thoughts in spoilers~!

I thought it was pretty good, not overly clichéd. I thought the grenade guy was good (people laughed in the theatre!). My friend managed to miss that part somehow. I find joy in the little things, a guy gets stuck in an umbrella, while being chased by zombies. Of all the times to get stuck in an umbrella...

Dvd: Team America World Police, love this film alot.
Film: Rocky 3 on sky movies, have a soft spot for rocky films.

wern't it a zombie that got caught in an umbrella? when he gets stuck in and then falls over the table...

that bit was funny as shit.

and don't forget it has bloody Edward "The Equalizer" Woodward in it. Tremendous price, must look into getting it.

Dobermann
A good film, with some good action scenes, and good performances by Vincent Cassel, Monica Bellucci and Tcheky Karyo. The film is slow at times, but the pace and action really picks up in the last half hour. It has a basic plot which is essentially cops vs. criminals, but it is still very much entertaining. With more depth to the film it could have easily become a cult-classic. Explicit, violent and bloody, but good stuff! (***)

People were looking at me for laughing. Either way, just say no to umbrellas...

Elf
A pretty good festive family movie, which is slow starting, but gets better as it goes on. It succeeds as a kids movie, but there is also enough in the film for adults to enjoy it as well (even with the usual required happy ending). Will Ferrell, James Caan, Bob Newhart, Edward Asner, and Zooey Deschanel are all great in their roles, and Zooey has a great voice which she uses to great effect a few times throughout the film. Elf doesn’t stand out as a great or memorable film (it is also not very funny for adults), but it is a film which I can see being shown as Christmas time for many years to come! (***)

It is on Sky Movies this weekend. If there is nothing else on TV, then it might be worth checking out - just remember it is geared towards children!

Kids
Sick film about kids doing things kids do in America, breaking virgins and smoking dope, apparently

'I have no legs, i have no legs, i have no legs'

Last night I watched Charlie Chaplin's 'The Great Dictator' which was as excellent as I thought it'd be. My copy of The Marx Brothers' 'Duck Soup' arrived yesterday, hopefully I'll get around to watching that over the weekend as I know it's going to be great.

If it's wrong to laugh at that I don't want to be right.

Is Kids a good film? I have been tempted to check it out for some time now...

If you've only watched this film once, then watch it again.
Im not sure why but i enjoy it more and more each time i watch it.

I watched In America for the umptinth time the other day. Absolutely love that film.

Also saw Churchill the other day, which i thought was okay. Nothing special but had me laughing in places.

Oh and i actually got a copy of The Family Guy movie recently. And it is everything i wanted it to be. Very, very funny

That's exactly how i was...heard loads of hype so i bought it,then once i'd seen it i was really dissapointed...then i watched it a few more times and it's amazing...one of THE most quoted films by me

I'd leave it man ... Its not that good , Its one of those films thats really hyped but if anything its just shock factor eg as the guy before said smoking dope , aids , rape , But the acting is awful and the story isnt all that good , Dont buy it just try and get a hold of it

I thought Bully was better than Kids.

King of the Ants
King of Ants is a pretty good film, which is slow starting but gets better as the film progresses. It has a basic but engaging story, and is violent, strange, and pretty twisted at times. There is acceptable acting by the cast throughout, but then again the script doesn’t ask too much from the actors. The story never really goes anywhere, but the film is still interesting for most of the duration. It is hard to believe that Charlie Higson (from The Fast Show) wrote the script for the film (adapted from his own novel), as the film is not something you would expect from him (being so different from the comedy side of things he is usually associated with). (**)

Psycho

Watched it in Film Studies at College and then analysed it to pieces. To analyse this film was a pleasure the amount of detail and thought that went into every shot in the foreground and background stunned me. After watching it I found out that Hitchcock is a genius. What a film.

I went to see Nightwatch at the cinema today. It is boring and predictable stuff, with basic acting and an under-used story. It looks quite nice at times, but ultimately by the end of the film I felt it was pointless! (*)

Watch the whole film in 4-minutes here! (Save yourself some money!)

I'm currently watching In Good Company.

It's crap.

i'd love to do some kind of film course, bet it's well interesting

I'm now watching Sugar And Spice.

It has cheerleaders in it, which is good, but it's not very funny, which is not good, especially as it's allegedly a comedy.

Its decent enough. Its main character, I think he was called Telly, was so much of a dick you'd legit want to beat fuck out of him.

Don't watch it with mother, especially the first few minutes.

House of wax.
I watched it yesterday, i thought it was a pretty good movie, it's not going to win an Oscar or anything, but it was entertaining, i thought the deaths in the film were good and quite inventive, the bit that surprised me was when the bad guy chopped off the top of Elisha Cuthberts finger off, i really wasn't expecting that to happen.
Fun, no-brainer film.

Also, last night i couldn't sleep, so i decided to watch Schlinders List, my dad's had it on dvd for a while so i thought i'd try it. A really powerful and moving film, the actions of the people involved were terrible and the scene where the littles girls body was being bulldozed into the pit was an upsetting image.
A really strong and emotional movie, i can see why it's so well rated.

I finally watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles. One of those things you always mean to see, but never do. i thought it was great. I'm a big fan of Martin and Candy and it flowed real well. A good old fashioned farce.

Just watched Natural Born Killers yesterday. Outstanding film!!! Great use of styles to portray the film, very good story and the right ending. Shame about Woody Harrelson's hair now!!!

I watched the anime Metropolis yesterday and loved it to bits. Best animation in any film ever(ever so slightly ahead Spirited Away and Akira).

I paticularly loved the end scene set to an old fashioned song as a futuristic city fell to bits and the main character tried to save the girl/robot he loved from death. Probably one of the best scenes in any movie I have seen in a long time.

I also watched Napolean Dynamite the other day, it was pretty funny but strange. I watched it a second time and enjoyed it alot more though. My favorite line: "Napolean, you're just jealous because I've been at home all day on the internet talking to hot chicks."

Im watching Pride Shockwave 2003 right now. nice.

I watched The Cat In The Hat.

It's not great, but it's nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be.

Oh yeah, those lessons are my favourite. Will be analysing another Hitchcock film tomorrow.

It just sucks when you have to analyse a shitty corporate video about Health and Safety and then analyse THAT.

I recently sat down with my parents and watched One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest which my dad has spent the last god knows how long telling me I should do so...

It's not exactly new but it's definitely one of the funniest and yet moving films I've seen in a long time.

Mmmm Juicy Fruit!

Jack Nicholson can do no wrong...