That is such an awesome line.

Did Cornette do more than one of those promos or am I imagining it?

He did some on Byte This I think, I recall him mentioning that in one of his shoots.

Fuck Heyman, Cornette is God.

I believe that ones on the WWE Monday Night Wars DVD. Thats awesome, it really is.

From what I remember he only ever did two.

I've got it on video from an episode of RAW either the week before or week after the one quoted above.

Writing a transcript of it now ....

He talks about Waltman in it doesn't he? My memory sucks but I was certain he did one around the time when Waltman jumped back to the WWF.

Don't know if I have missed it, but in that long rant where is Cornette's comment on calling the cage match "Age in a cage"? That was one of my favourite descriptions of a match ever.

"This is Jim Cornette and the views that I’m about to express are not necessarily those of anyone else but me.
But they ought to be and as a matter of fact they probably are.

You know, a lot of things in the wrestling world make me cranky these days.
Especially the way that some talent is treated and some talent is looked at
by not only the promoters but the wrestling fans as well.

For example a man like Arn Anderson who just had to retire from this sport
after giving it his entire life because of an injury that he’s suffered.
A guy like Nature Boy Ric Flair who in my opinion is one of the greatest talents in the history of this business.
Guys like Mankind, Cactus Jack, Dude Love, whatever you want to call him.
Great talents in the WWF or WCW.

But who gets a lot of the attention?
From the wrestling fans especially?
Guys like the NWO. The New World Order.

You know all the fans think these guys are so cool and so “sweeeeet” and so funny.
Well as far as I’m concerned the NWO is like a bunch of guys meeting up in the backyard in a clubhouse in the trees.
They’re guys who, all they have to … they’ve got the easiest job in the world!
All they have to do is go out there and be themselves.
Childish, obnoxious, adolescent guys with a case of severe arrested emotional development
And a fixation on trying to act macho.

You got a guy like Kevin Nash.
40 years old, trying to act like a teenager.
As far as I’m concerned the biggest no talent in the business.
He’s got six moves, no mobility, and enough timing to cover up for some of it.
But what he does is: he goes around and he manipulates.
Kevin Nash had a multi-million dollar company: the WWF,
Push him to the moon to make him a star and what does he do?
He leaves, - after he said he wouldn’t to his fans so he’s a liar too –
He leaves and he goes to WCW for a big contract.
Why? More on that later.

You got a guy like Scott Hall, who’s a good wrestler but good’s about it.
He’s the best of the bunch.
But he had the same million dollar promotional company make him a star
after he’d been in this business for ten years without putting three asses in the seats.
And what does he do? He goes to WCW for a big contract.
Why? More on that later.

And then you got a guy like … what is … Syxx? 1-2-3 Kid?
His names Sean Waltman, whatever you wanna call him.
Well as far as I’m concerned the only reason he’s employed
Is because the other guys think it’s funny when he gets drunk and throws up on himself.
He has the distinction, in case you haven’t noticed,
of being the only guy since this wrestling war got started,
that was released from a valid contract from one company
to go to the other side which shows you how valuable he is.
You know why they’re all employed? Why they’re all in the spots that they’re in today?
Because of Eric Bischoff.

The boss of WCW. Not the NWO.
Look at the credits on their ppvs … if you can get one for free.
The idiots name is on it!
He’s the boss of WCW. He works for Ted Turner.
And he throws a billionaire’s money around just like water,
so that he can have guys that he likes to hang out with.
Because even more than being a mark. Yeah, for his own face and his own voice.
Eric Bischoff is a guy who’s a big fan of hanging around studly guys
with long hair and beards, that smoke cigars, and ride Harley’s.
So that some of that can rub off on his little pansy-ass frame.

So he takes that billionaire’s money and he throws it around like water.
To buy guys that he can hang around with
to prove that his Johnson is bigger than everybody elses.
And that’s the sole reason that the NWO guys are employed.
I think, me personally, that it’s about time that the wrestling fans and the promoters,
All of them in this business started recognizing guys like Nature Boy Ric Flair.
Like Arn Anderson. Like Cactus Jack.
Guys that bust their ass. That work hard and have ability and have talent
to get where they are.
Instead of a bunch of guys that get to their spots by hanging around with the boss and sucking up.

I’m Jim Cornette, and that’s my opinion".

I knew there was an awesome Waltman line in there somewhere.

Brilliant.

Some Eddie on here?

If people can find it and type it up Eddie Guerrero's promo the Smackdown before beating Brock Lesnar at No Way Out is still my favourite promo of all time. In five minutes he made me care more about that match than four weeks worth of build up.

Man, I remember that promo. Was awesome.

This was the first one that came to my mind:


"Hey production, don't even think about going to a commercial. If not I might go say my piece at some other show.
Yeah, that's right Eric, so I got your attention now Eric Bischoff? I can't get it in the back. Huh?
I try and go in there and talk to you about business and I get screamed at and kicked out.
Well if this is what I gotta do to get your attention, Eric Bischoff, then this is what I'm gonna do.
Fire me, do whatever it takes, I could give a you know what, Eric.
Time in and time out, for one whole year I have been coming here to work
just to be mistreated by you and very much unappreciated, Eric.
On the road, on TV, I give you my hundred percent, I give all these people my hundred percent
whether they like me or whether they don't.
I give you the best show there is and you know it and you cannot give me the time of day
in the back to listen to what I have to say to you Eric, well I could give a damn.
Cause you know what? I don't care anymore Eric Bischoff.
You got a lot of young talent here in WCW and all you do is hold us down
for people that you pay a lot of money to and that you have way up here"

(He gestures meaning the taller wrestlers)

"Well I don't care Bischoff, anymore.
I don't care about these people, I don't care about nothing anymore, Eric.
You have driven me to that, Eric Bischoff.
This has nothing to do with you people, this is personal between me and you, Eric.
I come to work with my heart and all you do is step on it, and I'm
tired of it.
You hold me down, you've held me down, but from now on in Eric,
see I don't know what it is, I don't know if it's something personal you've got against me.
Whatever it is Eric, I don't know.
I mean, what is it about me that you have against me
that you keep me from stepping up the ladder in this profession?
What is it about me? I mean you got me tied down, Eric.
In my contract, Eric, and I could give - I'm telling you this right now, okay?
And I'm saying this for any other guy that wants to come out here and speak his mind that's being held down.
If you got the - you know what, come out here and say it like I am, Eric Bischoff.
I'm telling you this face to face, boy, 'cause I can't get your attention by the way,
I'm face to face, let me say on national TV in front of all these people
I'm coming out and the only reason I haven't come out any sooner is for two reasons:
Chavo, Jr., I love you, man. You're my blood and I'll never let that go.
You're one of the reasons I haven't said anything about what I'm doing tonight.
And the other reason is because I have two kids and a wife that I have to support. But you know what?
If losing my dignity means having to put up with WCW, NWO red, black or white or
whatever the hell it is, I don't care.
So Eric Bischoff, I'm telling you this right now, I want out of my contract no matter what it takes, who I gotta speak to,
or what it is, okay? And here, let me save you some time, Eric Bischoff I've thrown coffee on myself.
As far as I'm concerned Eric Bischoff, you can take this job and shove it up your you-know-what."


From WCW Nitro, summer 1998.

AWESOME promo.

"I'm addicted to the high I get from them, homes!!"

I'm begging for someone to post the promo that that was from.

I did that one in the first post mate.

As Austin walks up the steps towards the coronation platform looking at the crown, throne and everything else in disgust;

Dok Hendrix-'Alright ladies and gentlemen, the fourth prestigious King of the Ring, Stone Cold Steve Austin, an incredible victory' holds mic to Austin,



Dok-'Obviously anything but humble, the fourth prestigious King of the Ring, Stone Cold Steve Austin.'

Michael Hayes last night on RAW:

What happened after this promo, what did Eddie do in the weeks following this?

Is that Edge, Matt and Lita in happier times?

i remember years ago, and i mean maybe 6 or 7, i found a site that had what i can only assume to be either house show promos or a very good impressionist. there were a lot from the rock and austin and bret but one that sticks in my mind the most was one where hhh said he had the biggest balls in the company. it was hilarious. it'd be great to find some of them again.

however, i'd also appreciate some jericho promos from wcw. i didn't see a lot of them, but i've heard very good things.

cheers,
.c.

I think he formed the LWO just after this promo, but I could be wrong.

***************


October 28th 1995

ECW Arena, Philadelphia, PA.

Sandman and Mikey Whipwreck are stood in the ring with a free-standing ladder between them. Woman is stood at ringside.

"Jesus Christ Superstar" plays, and 'The Extreme Superstar' Steve Austin enters the ring with a microphone ...



"I've been crapped on for four years. I believe I deserve a break".

he starts to climb the ladder

"I didn't get to climb to the top in WCW like this.
I'm up here all the way at the top and I look down and I see two jabroni's
and, from the places I've been, about a five-dollar piece of ass.

Whipwreck: you amaze me son. Because you're a go-getter.
You ain't got no quit in ya. You don't know what the word quit means.
I respect you for that .... but you're still a loser in my book, son.
This is Steve Austin talkin' to ya, and if I call you a loser you can damn-well bet it's the truth".

he turns to the Sandman ...

"Keep drinking a few more beers, smoke some more cigarettes because, yeah, you sure are really, really cool.
Brother, I'm gonna get your ass in the ring and I'm gonna run circles around ya.
And when your tongue's hanging out there by your feet, and I'm walking off with the damn belt in my hands,
you're gonna wonder "What the hell was I thinking? That's Steve Austin!".

That's not one of the misfits back there in that god-forsaken dressing room, man. This is Steve Austin".

he turns to Woman ...

"Don't get me wrong: I could rustle up five dollars, buy a clothes peg to put on my nose, I'd give you a try.
And don't even think about looking at me all pissed off, honey.
Because it's you that married a midget, not me.

I wish both of you guys best wishes.
I hope one of you kills the other, because whoever comes out on top:
god-damn you're looking at the next champion right here".

"I ain't real excited about some of the direction the company is taking,
and the way business is being conducted from a writing standpoint.
I've got no problems with any individual talent, but I'm just watching and being very patient,
waiting to see what happens, the reasons that everything happens and that it's done for the right reasons.
I think a lot of things are done for the wrong reasons now, and there's guys being sacrificed.
Hopefully everything will work out".

- 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin on "Byte This", March 15th 2002.

Like many fans, I imagine he still feels the same way now .... almost four years later.

Mean Gene: All right, over the last couple of months, it has been very difficult for me to introduce this man without using “World Wrestling Federation Champion”---HULK HOGAN! Here at WrestleMania IV this afternoon, you’ve got the opportunity to change that.

Hogan: Oh, yeah it’s been hard to live with man! FEE, FI, FO FUM, Andre. One long year, and your time has come, man. No marks! No scars! No blemishes on the Hulkster, brother! But inside, man, I’ve been scarred for one long year. Everywhere I go, man, all the little Hulksters ask me, “Is there any truth to the fact that there was a controversial count? Hulkster, did you really get him over your head? Did you really beat The Giant?” Well today, man, in Wrestlemania IV, we’re gonna wipe all that controversy out. Andre the Giant, in the second round, when you’re fresh as a daisy, with the whole world watching, I’m gonna prove, brother, that I can beatcha anywhere, anytime! And all my Hulkamaniacs, they’re gonna feel it tooooo….

Mean Gene: Speaking of the Hulkamaniacs, Hulk Hogan, we have seen him here in Atlantic City, and I know millions others are watching very intently all around the world.

Hogan: YES! But if you look in their eyes, man, have you seen the fear in all those little Hulksters? They realize that when I get Andre the Giant cinched up in the launch position, when I SLAM him through the Trump Plaza, brother!---from New York, down to Tampa, Florida, the fault line is gonna break off! And as Andre the Giant falls into the ocean!---as my next two opponents fall to the ocean floor and I pin ‘em, so will DONALD TRUMP and ALL THE HULKAMANIACS! But as Donald Trump hangs on to the top of the Trump Plaza, with his family under his other arm, as they SINK, to the BOTTOM OF THE SEA---THANK GOD Donald Trump’s a Hulkamaniac! He’ll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang on to the wife and kids, DOG PADDLE with his life all the way to safety! But Donald, if somethin’ happens, if you run outta gas, and all those little Hulkamaniacs, just hang on to the LARGEST BACK in the world, and I’ll dog paddle us, backstroke all of us to safety!



Genius, really.

How could you include Ric's victory without including Mean Gene's immortal line: "put that cigarette out"

Thank you.

The Hogan promo I gave the transcript of:

http://www.geocities.com/bud_ellock/HoganCrazy.rm


And one more, about Hercules:

http://s63.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=07JDBR67PSV890ADC4XSKUGSL

"THIS IS WHERE THE POWER LIES!!!!!"


Seriously, I'm convinced Hogan is coked out of mind during these.

I was eight years old at Minnesaukee Elementary School playing a game of 'kill the guy with the ball' (it may even be an Olympic sport these days) and in chasing one of the other students, I made a leap for his legs, and the back of his foot kicked me in the lip. And I didn't know what happened; I knew it hurt, Jimmy, I knew it hurt bad, but all of a sudden people started looking at me in a different way like there was something wrong with me. I looked down at my Chicago Bears sweat-shirt, back in the days when they were two and twelve, in the waning days of Dick Butkus, and my Chicago Bears white sweatshirt had suddenly turned red and children were running from me, scared, ah, I was bleeding, i was in pain, and i was loving it! Beacuse i felt like i'd finally found something in my life that i could do better than everybody else. Handle pain. Someone said 'Oh, that's just vampire blood,' and then saw the open wound from which the blood was flowing. I've still got that shirt, Jimmy, and i remember thinking wouldn't it be nice if i could do something in my life where i could do this all the time? Get that attention every night. Stockbrokers can't do it. teachers can't do it. The President of the United States can't bleed for a living! But pro wrestlers can. It's the first time that i realized that i had a calling in my life, and i followed it right down the line. That's all i wanted to do. My brother and i watched them all- Chief Jay Strongbow, Bruno Sammartino, the Valiant Brothers, that's what we wanted to be. Then i broke his nose by backdropping him into his bedroom wall and Mom said no more wrestling, but she didn't say no more dreaming.



J.R-Well, Mick Foley continued to pursue his dream, but he paid a heavy price, the emotional scars of his strange childhood are still evident.

Mankind- You know, i want to tell my son, when he gets to be fifthteen, not to be the guy that eats strange things. I never exactly brought it upon myself; other people in their cliques, for lack of a better word, they would gang up on me because i was different, looked different. They were throwing worms at me. Bending down in atheltic class, doing my hurdler's stretch, and there was a bombardment of worms begin thrown at me. So what do you do to retaliate? You throw the worm back? At seven or eight people? It's not the fact they were hurting me, they were wounding my pride. They were looking at me like i was garbage. So i picked up the largest specimen, Jimmy, and i sucked it down! To show them that their attempts to hurt my pride would not be sucesful. I thought, Jimmy, that i'd show them, but thensure enought the story became as everything in life does and it no longer became 'Well Mickey Foley ate one worm because some kids were picking on him' it became 'Mickey Foley eats a plate full of worms every day.' Do you think i got many dates after that, Jimmy?

J.R- Probably not.

Mankind-Do you think girls wanted to kiss a boy who had worms on his breath? I'm a good kisser! But i never got the chance to show it! What am i gonna do, practice on myself, Jimmy? I never had the chance to show the world i could love and could be loved, because they ruled me out because i had a strange appetite for strange things. I'm not going to say i didn't accept money to eat other strange things, but the fact is that damage had been done and i went through my entire high school days without date number one. You don't think that scarred my soul? Well maybe you're not looking deep enough.

J.R (Voiceover) - Mickey Foley was searching for a place to belong.

Mankind- It was 1983. And upstate New York with its endless rolling fields might be a nice place for a lot of boys, but not when Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco were in a cage in October in Madison Sqaure Garden- that's where i wanted to be! I didn't want to ride horses along a field, i didn't want to fish for trout in a stream, i wanted to be where the blood and guts were, Jimmy. So i put out my thumb, Jimmy, and it took sixteen or seventeen hours, but i made my way to the Garden. It took just about all the money i had in the world, but i got a front row seat, and i saw the move that would change my life, when Jimmy Snuka came off the top of the cage. And i saw people stand up, and i saw people cheer, and i know i wasn't the only person whose life was changed in that arena. And i realized, Jimmy, that i wanted to do the same thing. I wanted to hear people cheer for me because of some act of bravery that I commited. I wanted to see children cry out of love for me and the things i could do inside a ring.

I made a movie when i was eighteen about myself, maybe as a type of escape where i was a wrestler and it's strange, the first time i ever met Shawn Michaels- you know him.

J.R- Oh yeah, very well.

Mankind- He looked at my scarred and battered body. He didn't know me, but he knew the legend of who i was before, and he said, 'Is this the way you always envisioned yourself?' Looking somewhat down on me. And i said, 'No, you the know the strange thing is i always imagined myself being you.' And he said, 'You mean the champ?' And i said, 'No, i mean the girls.' Jewelry, the tatoos, the love. So in my movie i was not Mick Foley. I sure as hell wasn't Mankind. I was Dude Love.

Dude Love tape, November 1983: We are gonna tear this rotten apple right down to its stinking New York core, and while we're here, we're here only one reason, one reason only, fame, honor, fortune, glory, to destruct, destroy, and to take that World Wrestling Federation Championshp Belt...

Mankind-And during the course of the movie, dating back to my experience at Madison Square Garden, i decided i was going to do something heroic, i was going to do something to make people cheer for me,so i ascended up onto my friend's roof, and i dove off.

J.R (voiceover)- ironically, The Loved One gave Mick Foley his first break; it became an underground hit and somehow wound up in the hands of Dominic Denucci. Denucci admired Mick's guts more than his skill and took him under his wing. Every weekend for the next two years Mick traveled 800 miles round-trip eating and sleeping in the beackseat of his '79 Ford Fairmount still hoping to realize his dream.

Mankind- I knew i wasn't ready to be Dude Love yet, i never wanted to be cactus Jack. I figured here is a horrible name for a horrible wrestler, and by golly as soon as i get the ability that i'll get that heart-shaped tatoo on my chest, i'll put those ear-rings in, and i'm gonna get the girls. And it never worked out that way, did it, Jimmy?

J.R-Not quite.

Mankind- I guess nature didn't cooperate with me. Cactus Jack was supposed to be around for three months. he stayed for eleven years. What made Cactus Jack different was that he just wanted it a little bit more. He was willing to sleep in a filthy car in order to achieve his dreams. He was willing to forgo romantic relationships to be the best. He was somebody in an era of bodybuilder physiques who carved out his own niche, who said i'm gonna make it on my own style, who said 'No one else is gonna tell me what to do, i'm not going to dye my hair. I'm going to be exactly who i am, and i'm going to do it my way.'

J.R- Don't you think that it's about time in you life where you looked squarely in the mirror and accepted the personal responsibility for who you are? Don't you believe that you yourself have casued and brought on all these problems?

Mankind- I think it's time for you to maybe start doing your damn job. I think it's time for you to end this facade of journalistic integrity. You know what you tell people week in and week out? You say 'Look at Mankind, i don't even know if he feels pain, or maybe he likes pain.' You see you're a powerful man, Jimmy, you have got the ability to reach a lot of people, to spread the truth, and you neglect to do it. Let me ask you a couple of questions. What is it about pain that i love? You see, i feel just like every other person, you see that? [ripping his hair out violently] It hurts! Is it when i can't get up when my little boy sayd, 'Daddy, i want to play ball' and i can't do it? Is that where the fun starts? Is it where a doctor i jects a 12-inch needle into the discs in my spine so i can wrestle one more day? Whoopee! Let the party begin! I can't believe you sit here and ask me those questions. Do i bring it on to myself? I havn't done a damn thing to you. All you've done to people is mislead them and let them think i'm having the time of my goddamned life when i'm in pain! Don't you look at me with that smug look. You make me sick. A man of integrity; I ought to smack you...

(Mankind attacks with the mandible claw)
Off-screen voice: Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy? Can we get some help?... He's gonna need some help....



Beautiful. Prophetic. Awesome.

Nature-Boy, it's me Mick Foley and i'm going to send this message out to you directly, i guess it's a rebuttle of sorts for...claims you made against me two weeks ago on Raw.

The first claim i'd like to address is that i took the easy way out in everything during my entire career, a claim that strikes me as quite odd coming from a guy whos claim to authorship consists soley of talking out of the side of his ass while drinking heavily for a couple of days, having a professional ghostwriter record the conversations and then write down things in a book. And then Ric Flair of course, slaps his name on the cover of that book and calls himself an author. Strikes me as being funny seeing as how i actually spent months labouring for hundreds of hours, through sevenhundred and sixty pages of handwritten notebook paper pouring my heart and soul out to become a New York Times Bestseller, a towering bestseller with Have a Nice Day in which i made claims that Ric Flair may have been less than an ideal person to work for back in the mid-nineteen ninetys in WCW. See Ric, i wanna bring you back to a time, Munich, Germany in March of 1994, when you were my boss! Who's kidding who Ric!? You were in charge of my career! And on that night, i got my head tangled up in ropes that were a little bit too tight. I saw blood splattering out onto the blue mats outside. I got back inside that ring and i threw a punch and you know what happened!? MY EAR FELL OFF! IT FELL TO THE GROUND! And by some fluke, a referee who spoke no english, picked it up and handed it off to a ring announcer and tip-toed to the back. He handed it to you Ric Flair and said i've got Cactus Jacks ear. (Remember that name Ric!?) What do you want me to do with it? And Ric Flair suggested we put that ear in a bag of ice and then Ric, you went outside and you know what you saw? Me! In the ring! Still wrestling! DOES THAT STRIKE YOU AS THE EASY WAY OUT!?! I'm a guy who travelled a thousand miles on round-trips every week, to learn this trade. Slept in my car, dined on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches till i felt like puking! To learn! From the bottom up! And then i get accused of not knowing how to wrestle by a guy whos main wrestling hold these days is touching another mans genitilia! Oh yeah, heading into Vengeance Ric, i hadn't been in as much fear of another man since i'd been an altar boy! Oh and then you have the nerve to say you've wrestled every badass there is and i'm not one of them!!! Well tell me this Ric! How much worse could they have messed you up!? These imaginery badasses from your past! How much worse could they have made you bleed!? How much more could your family have cried!? And now you wanna stand there and say when you get in the ring with me it's gonna be all night long, all day long! FIND A NEW CLICHE! YOU USED UP HACK! Because on that day, when i saw your family cry the space you'd occupied inside my mind for fourteen years was gone! You no longer matter to me Ric. You brag about your 16 titles all you want but, i've got titles of my own that count. I'm the hardcore legend! I'm a three-time WWE champion! I'm a two-time, New Yorks times Number one best-selling Author, WRITTEN BY HAND, WITH MY MIND, MY HEART, MY DESIRE! And i've been interviewd twice by Katie Couric. And i'm a personal friend of Melina. And you Ric Flair, whether you like it, WOOO! or whether you don't, learn to live with it, beacuse you get no rematch. You're out of my life you used-up piece of crap!

Man, that's bad.

"Taz .... you fuckin' midget ... get out here!"

- Sabu. ECW Hostile City Showdown. March 1997.

"I hope the US loses the war in Iraq and while I'm at it I think the greatest country in the world is France, what do you think? and and you know truth be told I'm not a very big fan of the black people. And if I would go back in time, the one person in history I'd like to make tap out would have to be... Jesus."

One from the US indys by Eddie Kingston in CZW about hsi fued with Chris Hero:

This look familiar to you. This is your car partner. I'm right here, come and get me brother, I've had enough of this. Chris Hero, I went to church the other day (laughs) for the first time in years. And I went up to a priest for a confession and I said "Father, I'm obsessed with an evil man" and the priest said "Is he really evil?" and I said "To me he is". and he goes "What you should be worried about is good men and the indifference they suffer". Then he handed me this card, St. Jude...the patront saint of hopelessness. The patront saint of lost causes...Chris Hero, even God himself doesn't believe that I can beat you.

Chris Hero, you've taken everything from me. You took out my brother Black Jack, a man I've known since I was 8 years old who all we dreamed about was being the greatest tag team in the independants, no not just in the independants but in this business and you took him away from me. Then you took away Sabian. Now you took away Robbie. Seriously, you've taken everything from me brother, I'm on my knees right now. I'm on my knees Chris. I'm right in front of your car, Hero. I'm on my knees...give me the match Hero. All I want is one chance Hero, I'm tired of threatening you, saying I'll kill your parents and rape your girlfriend. Hero, I'm begging ya'. LOOK AT ME I'm on my knees! I'm begging for this match 'cause I can't get you outta' my head. You're a demon I need to exorcise Hero so I can move on with my career but not even that move on with my life. You know this is real Hero. Chris, my hatred for you goes beyond wrestling. Hero, I'm begging you I'm on my knees, I'm on the ground, I'm begging you...gimme' that one match. That's all I need. Just one match. *starts punching the ground* Just one match. One match. Hero, please...so I can get you outta' my head. So I can exorcise my demon.

Nitro - 17th February, 1997:

You really need to upload that again brah.

Shane Douglas face to face with Justin Credible in the ring.

ECW CyberSlam at the ECW Arena, April 1999.

"Cut the fucking music.

You fucking pussy!

There's a long and storied story that starts at that front door.
When Terry Funk walked through that door six years ago,
he knew his job was to take Shane Douglas and make him a fucking Franchise.

And every single person that's walked through that door in the last six years
has become nothing more than a notch in my belt, Justin Credible.

Now if you think that you, punk, if you think that you are gonna make me a notch in your belt?
You got another thing coming, motherfucker.

You see: one thing I specialized my whole career. Whether North, South or right here.
I've known when to cross over the fucking line.

Hey Justin: There's a fucking line, motherfucker, right in the middle of the ring.

If you're man enough, step the fuck over it".

Rhino @ ECW Guilty As Charged: January 7th 2001

(moments after goreing Balls Mahoney, Simond Diamond, Johnny Swinger, Dawn Marie, Chilly Willy and Blue Meanie - then piledriving Jasmin St. Claire from the middle rope)

"I'm not done yet.
I'M NOT DONE YET!

Oh violence.
VIOLENCE!
I taste violence.
I feel violence.
I live for violence!

I've just begun tonight.
I've fuckin' just begun tonight!

You know what?
Violence get's me off more than having Jasmin suck my fucking cock.
Violence I love.

Tonight I've just begun.
I HAVE JUST BEGUN!!"

Not the most articulate way of putting ones point across, but the message was clear and he did go on to win the World Title after the promo, so fair do's.

This is a Dusty Rhodes promo from Summerslam '90. The set up (if you know the back story, just skip down to THE PROMO~!)

~

Sweet Sapphire had been receiving mystery presents from someone but nobody knew who it was. Dusty and Sapphire had been feuding with King Savage and Queen Sherri. At Summerslam, Sapphire was to wrestle Sherri and Dusty scheduled to wrestle Savage.

But on the night, Sapphire couldn't be found. She no-showed against Sherri, so Sherri won the match by forfeit. Nobody knew where Sapphire was, but Dusty was looking. So was Jim Duggan:

(Dusty is being interviewed in the back by Mene Gene. Hacksaw, totally at random, walks in)

Dusty: "Hey Hacksaw, have you seen Sapphire?"

Hacksaw: "NO I HAVEN'T DUST, BUT WE'RE ALL STILL LOOKING FOR HER." (randomly leaves)

~

Later, there was a sighting of Sapphire going into her dressing room but she wouldn't open the door. Dusty tried but failed. He then had to wrestle Savage but, after some cheating, he was defeated by the King.

Then:

We quickly cut to Sean Mooney again who says that he tried to follow DiBiase to interview him "but he was too quick for me." Nice job there. DiBiase's limo is in the parking lot and out come Virgil, Sapphire and DiBiase. Dusty then LEGS IT to the back but the limo drives off. "SAPPHIRE! SAPPHIRE!"

"Alas," says Mooney, "Dusty Rhodes can not stop the car and we leave a very distressed...American Dream."

~

Then, THE PROMO~! :

(Dusty is in the back, interviewed by Mene Gene.)

"What I call it Gene is EMOTIAAAN. This great sport and the World Wrestling Federation is built on EMOTIAAAAN. Sapphire took the moneeeeh, that's fiiiine. (pause)

I offered up my INNOCENCE to her, she paid me back in SCORN, NOW only AMERICA can give me shelter from the storm. And I am in a storm, baby. And walking out towards that cadillac and many thousands of fans were screaming "when you gonna get MAD Big Dust, when you gonna get BAD Big Dust, when you gonna get EEEEVEN Big Dust?" And Ted DiBiase, the Million Dollar Man, the man that can buy anything BUT Dusty Rhodes the American Dream, BUT the American way of life that lives in this heart! Ted DiBiase I'm getting BAD baby and I'm comin' for you! (storms off)"

~

It's such a good promo. Afterwards, I really wanted to see Dusty-DiBiase, although I'm not sure they ever did that on a P.P.V.

I love that line, it still gives me chills when I hear it. This is a perfect example of how even when someone is lumbered with an awful gimmik they can get themselves over if they have the raw passion, emotion and charisma that the Dream has in spades.

I wish I'd read this topic sooner, keep 'em coming please.



That's an awesome line.

Paul Heyman shoots on the TNN Network

'And since this show is apparently going to make it to air this week, I'd like to take this moment to thank you for watching ECW, you have to be an ECW fan to watch this show because God knows the network has never put out one freaking commerical or one press release to let you know that we're here, but that's their scheme of things. You see in just a few weeks the network is going to give one hundred million dollars to Vince McMahon, like he needs it, to replace us, if they haven't thrown us off before then. And the fact of the matter is that we're not a publically funded company like Vince McMahon or WCW, we survive, or even thrive, on your support and for that we thank you.

Now, in an industry where everybody wants to be real, and everybody wants to do a shoot, this my friends is a shoot. We hate this stinking network, we hate their guts for abandoning us, we hate their guys for not supporting us, we hate their guts for not advertising us and we hate their guts for not having the balls to throw us off the air. And in case you're watching this, hey network I dare ya to throw me off the air, because I'm going to break every rule you put in front of me until you throw me the Hell off the air.

Now this my friends is a shoot, you better take that one hundred million dollars, that you're going to give Vince McMahon and you better spend it on attorneys because I promise you network, the war has just begun.'


Arn Anderson 'My Spot' Promo

(On Commentary) Bobby Heenan: A standing ovation, look at that.

(In-Ring) Mean Gene Okerlund: Its a pleasure to hold a microphone up for you Mr. Anderson on this occasion

Arn Anderson: Well Gene all I can tell ya, to get a response like this it means that what I gotta say tonight mean that much more, ya see I'm a realist and everybody knows I've got average size and speed and average ability but I've parlayed that into what I would call a very successful career. And I did that on sheer will alone. But another reality is that four months ago, they took four vertebrae outta my neck, consequently I'm left with a hand, my left hand, too weak to hold a glass, too weak to button a button. But I thought in my mind, I knew in my mind that I could overcome that to through sheer will, and I was doing just like that. I think I've comeback a long way but the other day I had something happen in the gym that was like a cold slap of reality, a guy about your size Mean Gene came up, slap me on the back and said 'Hey Double A, where you been, we haven't seen you on TV?' and just that slap sent a jolt through me and I dropped the drink I was drinking and just for a second my system shut down and it became crystal clear as I watched the few little drops draining out of that bottle, the symbolism that was involved. It was like someone had turned an hour glass over and the sand was running out on the career of Arn Anderson. Now the fact of the matter is, not only do I put myself in a suicide situation by trying to wrestle again, I endanger these two men's careers (pointing at Benoit and McMichael) and I respect them too much for that. And being anything than the enforcer in my best friend's eyes (puts arm on Flair's shoulder), I'd rather walk away. And for all you people out there, that have ever bought a ticket to see Arn Anderson wrestle, whether you loved me... Or you hated me, you knew that when that bell rang you got all I had that night, whether I won, whether I lost, I gave you everything I had and you knew that. And when you did this to me (Gives the Horsemen sign) that was your acknowledgement, well the fact is I have nothing left to give. And I want you to remember me as I was, not as I am. But being the man that I am, my last act, formerly as a Horsemen, I got one last challenge. And that's to you Curt Hennig. Now don't misunderstand me, its not for a fight. You got something special, I've seen you in this ring, your skills, your maturity, your commitment to excellence, makes you something special. And what my challenge is to you, Curt, is stand beside my best friend, Ric Flair, and lead these two men (points at Benoit and McMichael) and lead the Four Horsemen back to the prominence that they once had. And I'm a tell you what your prize is, its not a spot with the Horsemen, because this is worth a lot more than that to me, I'm gonna give you the only thing I've got left, not a spot, not a spot... I'll give you, my spot.

Mean Gene Okerlund: Curt Hennig?

Curt Hennig: Ya know, I know every wrestler that has ever been around or involved in this business that we call wrestling, who would pass up the honour to not only be a Horsemen but to come out and take Arn Anderson's spot, as the Enforcer of the Four Horsemen, I have only one thing to say... It would be a priviledge.

NWA Hammerlock recently, at the Tap n Tin in Chatham. Jon Ryan and Kurupt are interrupted in their promo by their opponents; NWA Jr Heavyweight Champion, Zack Sabre Jr & Jimmy Havoc:

Zack Sabre Jr. : You bunch of cunts.
Jimmy Havoc (Takes Mic): See? This is why we don't let you speak.

Anyone got any good Jesse Ventura promo’s/commentary????


My favourite is from the 1988 Royal Rumble “Hogan’s an idiot, an idiot”.

Brilliant. Zack's gone up a million percent in my book.

*makes note in book*

Cactus Jack (with Tommy Dreamer) after being beaten up by Sandman and Tommy Cairo:

"Tommy Dreamer, he aint no pretty boy, he's a man! Maybe nature gave him these looks but he's earned the guts, he earned the heart and its all his and Sandman you cant take it away from him, Tommy Cairo you cant take it away from him but I'm Cactus Jack! I'll take away from you whatever I want and right now... I want your souls. Bang bang!"

I loved that Zack Sabre Jr. now though i'm sure that offended some part of the live audience

The one i like was the Rock singing to Test on Christmas Smackdown. Which Goes:

" Test there's a song and it's called the twelve days of christmas. You see Test the Rock wants to sing you twelve things you can look forward to tonight..(people cheer) and the rock will go slow at first just for you Test
On the night Test faces the great one this is what he'll see
Twelve sharpshooters stinging
Eleven eyebrows raising
Ten spines a busting
Nine noggins a knocking
Eight kicks a kicking
Seven punches a punching
Six suplexs smshing
Fivvvveeee seconds of the people chanting the Rock's name (audience chant "Rocky, Rocky")
Four Rock Bottoms
Three People's Elbow
On your two buck teeth
And an ass whuppin' all over New Orleans.."

Oh the Rock does Christmas. DL'ed and on repeat play at this time of year.

Just incase you didn't know, there is a link in the youtube thread that includes this promo, and many more. Its one or two pages back in one the Rocks Funniest moments links. Lots of good stuff in them.

Can anyone give me the Shane McMahon version of Jack and the Beanstalk for The Big Show before Backlash 2001 ?

Alex Shane to the 'legendary' old man at IPW Extreme Measures 3

"Son you should have died 20 years ago!

The second best promo done at King of The Ring 1996:


*****************************************

Jim Ross:
"Alright, Vince, thanks very much. Brian Pill ...."

Brian Pillman:
"How's my extended family doing, Jimmy?"

Jim Ross:
"Fine".

Brian Pillman:
"I forgot to tell ya... I don't even give a damn about my own family!
And I think even less of this sewer of human waste that sits before me.
It's easy to see why Jeffrey Dahmer tried to consume this whole state from head to toe, ha ha ha..."

Jim Ross:
"It's not really funny... I'm sure the fans are excited about the day you'll be able to step in the ring.
Tell me, how do you think you'll measure up to this kind of competition?"

Brian Pillman:
"Listen, you stupid son of a bitch!
I'll get..." (breaks off and laughs again)
"What I want to know is, how does it feel to be one of the members of the wretched refuse?
Paralyzed with fear of Brian f'n Pillman.
Does, says, whatever he wants. We'll find out real soon if any of your so-called WWF Superstars has the guts to stop me.
Yeah, take a good look. I'm the brightest star to ever step foot on God's green earth!
While you crown a King of the Ring, the leader of the new revolution ascends to his throne.
I'm gonna rape, pillage, and plunder this entire federation!"