I'm more interested to know why he'd be under the impression it wouldn't be girly

Pandorum

This film was sort-of rubbish, then managed to briefly redeem itself by the end. Spaceship ark flees dying earth, heads for earth-type planet, but sometime on the way there a few crew members wake up from hypersleep to realise something bad is going on...wants to be like a million other, better, sci-fi films, and I think largely fails. The two films that were brought to mind were Doomsday Machine (awful US / Japanese pish from the 70s) and Doomsday (really awful British 2008 film), which is not a good thing. It had a million plot holes, and wasn't even terribly exciting to cover up for them.

Even though it represents the quickest download I've ever done (an entire HD-quality film in under 2 hours) it will be immediately deleted and never talked of again.

EDIT: Oops, wrong thread. How'd that happen

I've just finished watching The King of Kong.

It's a documentary about a man trying to break the world record for the origanal Donkey Kong arcade game from 1981. I wasn't expecting much but I really got into it, mostly due to the fact that the bloke seemed a really nice guy and the original record holder was a cunt.

I'd definately reccomend watching it, wether you're into games or not.

Heres a link for those of you with a Lovefilm supscription where you can watch it free. Link.

The Bone Collector. I'm either really smart or that film is hella predictable. I'm going with the latter. Plus I really do not understand the Angelina Jolie love. Her lips look like a prolapsed areshole.

If its any help, I wasnt keen on it either it just didnt click for some reason


Watched The Waterboy for the 1st time yesterday... Hmmmm maybe if id watched it when it came out I would have laughed, instead it was okay, the Colonel Sanders thing was about the funniest thing tbh

Happy Gilmore is way, way WAY better

It's a shit film.

That's the second time in two days I've heard "lips like a prolapsed asshole". Is that from something, or have you just nicked it off Woyzeck saying it about Heidi Fleiss yesterday?

I can honestly say that I made this comment to my missus whilst watching the film. I haven't even touched the Big Brother thread, I have no interest. I can see why he made the same comment though.

You should be more concerned that we both know what a prolapsed arsehole looks like. Thank you efukt.com.

I've seen that, it's a really good movie - I'm not a big fan of movie documentaries, but it was really watchable.

I also loved the fact that the original record holder was a bit of a cunt, and his name is Billy Mitchell.

[b]Law Abiding Citizen[b]

A father (that guy from 300) see`s his wife and daughter murdered. During the court case his lawyer (jamie foxx) says that theres not enough evidence to convict the guys but that one of the guys is willing to grass the other in for a plee bargain. The lawyer accepts, so one guy goes to death row the other is let out after 5 years. The fathers pissed. Blames it on the system and takes revenge by blowing up and killing all the folk that were involved in the case but tells the lawyer that if he can get him off with the murders (cause theres no hard evidence he actually done it) then he`ll stop.

It sounds over complicated and in a way it is.

The film struggles to work out what it wants to be. Is it a thriller? yes it is, the scenes between Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx are actually quite good. Theres a stress level you can see between the characters that makes you wanna know how they`re going to play each other. Is it an action film? yes it is, theres enough gun fire, explosions and fight scenes to keep things bright and firery. Is it gruesome? yes it is, in a `SAW` style the blood is dark and the murder scenes are very dirty.

So what is it? Its too much of everything. As plots go its not excellent, the gore seems to be placed in just for shock value and the plot curve balls are way out there. Its worth a watch but I wouldn`t go out your way to see it. Rent it.

You need a / in that last [ b ] , Mr. Kahoona. And the DiBiase avatar gimmick is mine!!

I had noticed i just couldn`t be bothered to hit the edit button



ok, i shall change it

*edit*

<------- Better?

Acceptable IRS is awesome.

Tonight, a blu-ray rip of "Zombieland". I really enjoyed that film. And no doubt shall enjoy it again.

The cottage, with spudgun and and some other of people I recognized but couldn't place.

Its worth a watch I guess, entertaining and fun but its nothing ground breaking.

Mirrors, in which that bloke from 24 gets shit up by his reflection


Despite the some what inconclusive end it was a good film in my view, and the plot built quite well, much better than I make it sound. I'd have liked a bit longer playing on the "is it real or his he mad" bit, something crushed quite quick sadly but it doesn't really hold it back. Overall I quite enjoyed watching it despite it not being my thing at all, any one who's thing it is would more than likely hate it though.

I'm on a bit of a movie kick. In the last four days...

Whip It - Ellen Page plays a small-town teen stuck in a 50's-esque life and seeking refuge in the 70's-esque world of roller derby. Except it's in the modern day. It was weird. It's not such a bad movie though, even if it is essentially cliché-filled script-by-numbers type stuff. Pretty feel-good, mediocre stuff with a generally likeable cast (Ellen Page, Daniel Stern, Alia Shawkat and Kristen Wiig make up for Drew Barrymore, who also directs the picture) make for an okay, if forgettable, watch.

Post Grad - see a movie poster with Rory Gilmore on the front and what am I to do? Of course I must see it. The movie features said Ms. Bledel as a girl who has just graduated college struggling to achieve what she'd planned to, trying to sort her life out and juggling romances. Sadly, what I thought might be a relatively interesting indie comedy ala Adventureland turned out to be garbage of TV movie proportions. Oh, Rory...

The Seventh Seal - my first foray into the world of Bergman and I have to say I liked it a lot. In the time of the Black Plague a knight staves of Death by challenging him to a game of chess so he can have more time to figure out the point of it all. Not too much actually happens, but movies with a lot of philosophical chatter about life and death and god and the meaning (or lack thereof) of existence? That's my kind of jam.

In Bruges - cracking little picture. Gleeson and Farrell are both really good and for the part of the movie where it's only them, I really, really liked it. The final third let it down just a bit - it felt just a bit too...manufactured - but it was still a very nice effort. Also...Clemence Poesey...

Paranormal Activity - not bad. Certainly not the brilliant picture I'd been hearing about, but compelling enough with a few decent creepy/scare moments. The only thing that really bugged me was that guy seemed like a dickhead beyond the point of belief. Honestly, with all that stuff happening in the house nobody would so stubbornly persist with recording evidence for so long rather than just getting the fuck out or seeking proper help. Decent though.

The Invention of Lying - not bad. A movie with such an elaborate conceit was always going to be somewhat difficult to pull off, but I think Gervais does quite a good job. Not hilarious, but funny and interesting with a brilliant cast. Rob Lowe in particular is fantastic as Gervais' arrogant prick rival. I have to admit that what I liked most was how atheist it all felt . Also how in that world ugly people were the low of the low and the suggestion that, in an honest world, good looks are the greatest currency. Y'know...that and the jokes.

Ratatouille - I saw in Empire's Review of the Decade they had this as the best movie of its year. All I could think was, "what the fuck?” It's pretty decent and certainly enjoyable, but surely it's Pixar's worst effort yet. Right? That or A Bug's Life? Either way, it’s Pixar so it’s good but it’s not that good.

Watching Hannibal on Dave of all places.

Watched it at the cinema, it was shit. Watched it when it was on normal telly 'cos I might of misjudged, it was shit. After a gap of about 5 years thought maybe it was me, no you guessed it, it is still shit.

Orphan

A family adopt and Orphan. Bad things start to happen. Is it all a coincidence or is this Orphan an evil demon child?

This is a very strange and interesting outing. Nothing seems to happen for the first 30 minutes of the film then, bang, death! Then nothing seems to happen for another 30 minutes then all hell seems to burst loose. The last 30 minutes is a cool joyride and theres some excellent images that`ll stay.

Its not a scary movie although theres some use of the mirror opened, then closed style of jumpiness suspense. The gore is pretty good, although there isnt loads of it. Theres some really strange use of characters and set ups, like the daughters deaf (although good didnt seem to have anything to really do with the film) and a few sub plots and back stories that they use but unlike most american films they only hint and give some info, they dont go into graphic detail about it (which means you got to piece the backstories together yourself). The story ticks along well, although there are patches of what seems like nothingness. And an amazingly abrupt ending.

The Orphan herself is an excellent character and is very memorable. A few scenes of uncomfortableness if you have kids of your own.



I liked the film on a dark gothic level and when the last 20 minutes kicked off then all bets are off and anything is possible.

Certaionly worth a look if your into the `SAW` `Amitiville Horror` `Psycho` psychological style of plot.

There are working copies on the net now?

Shame the UK won't get it for months....

The promotional campaign put me off, featuring Page and Barrymore kissing, in an entirely un-erotic and entirely desperate please-come-and-see-our-film way. I think there's a documentary about roller derby from the 70s which will probably be more fun than this film.

That wasn't a promotional campaign as such, it was one picture in a photoshoot for one magazine article, which naturally, got singled out and passed around many websites.











One AWESOME picture.

I should have qualified that statement a bit, but they presumably knew what they were doing and that that would be the only photo anyone would give a damn about.

Ellen Page was awesome in Trailer Park Boys and has been less awesome in everything she's been in since then. Probably, I've not seen some of it, I'm not a masochist.

Has anyone seen Daybreakers?
Vampires seem to be everywhere at the moment, but I enjoyed this very much. A fresh twist the the standard vampire flick.
I recommend.

Also saw a trailer for 'The Crazies'
Have now found out it's a remake, but I really want to see this aswell.

had a week off this week and planned on making a few trips to the cinema...weather put a stop to that, so i ended up movieing it up in the house, some quick thoughts...

Carriers - bleak as fuck, illness ruins the world, road survival flick. The film looks and feels like a zombie movie to the point, where i expected flesh eayer to turn up at any minute, it doesn't happen. It's a depressing flick, but i recommend it to anyone who likes movie a little bit dark...

Before The Devil Knows Your Dead - loved this. Story of a bank robbery going wrong, follows the story from several different angles, each one just dropping the mian character deeper and deeper in to a world of shit. Excellent performances, tense and at times hard to watch. I loved this film. Philip Seymour Hoffman is amazing.

Pathology - 2nd viewing of this for me. Like the two movies above, this lacked any kind of humor but i really enjoyed it. Harsh story of mortuary students playing some games with dead bodies, it sounds fucked up, it is fucked up but it's a pretty cool movie with a real solid ending.

It's been a miserable week

I really, really hated Before The Devil Knows You're Dead. It was one of those films where by the end I was actually shouting "fuck off" at the screen.

what didn't you like about it? i was f'n gripped.

It's really convoluted, the characters are despicable, it becomes a mess in its final act and Ethan Hawke is in it.

Ethan Hawke is one of the worst and most unlikeable actors ever. I have no idea how he managed to get so far in acting.

I'm guessing all the roles he got came as a result of Tom Cruise asking for too much money.

The Time Traveler's Wife - Eric Bana has a genetic condition that causes him to flit through time at random while romancing and then eventually marrying Rachel McAdams. This movie bummed me out because for the logic to work at all it presumes time is just an eternally repeating loop of things that have already happened and that will happen again. That everything is pre-determined. And that doesn't feel very romantic to me, but hey...what can you do? Honestly the movie isn't unbearable, but it is schlocky romance with no real purpose or lasting feeling.

Paper Heart - Charlyne Yi (Asian female stoner from Knocked Up) sets out to make a documentary about love. She has never been in love and wants to find out what it is and what's wrong with her. She interviews people - some famous, most not - and soon finds herself entangled in a romance with Michael Cera. But does she actually end up loving him? Or what would that even mean? How would she know? All these questions and, well, that's about it. I actually quite liked it, but really it's only for people who aren't sick already of mumbly, quirky, American indies with more charm than content. Oh, and kind of awesome puppet sequences.

The Marine
Well, I say watched, but have to admit I turned it off after 25 minutes. It's really cosmically bad, and it's not even Cena's fault. The script is appalling, absolutely barrel scraping, and the actors are left struggling with clumsy and unamusing lines. It's also really low-rent action - it feels like one of those straight-to-DVD Segal movies, but without the attraction of Segal. Finally, the action is edited so badly that it generates no excitement at all. The fight scene in the foyer kept having a shot of fat security guard tackling a baddie, followed by a shot of Cena taking a baddie down, and vica versa. Incredibly amateurish and confusing.

The worst bit though was the music - a rare example of film music being so bad it makes things worse. Clichéd, intrusive, and often akin to bad porn.

Cena was alright, but his face looks like a Mr PotatoHead up close - perhaps not a great look for a leading man.

Yeah, nice DVD quality rips too.

Thoughts then.

Well, Ellen Paige is very cute and likeable in this as opposed to the utterly hateful character of Juno, so that's good. I like Drew Barrymoore quite a bit, and I like weird looking girls with multi-coloured hair and such, so why did I hate her in this? Maybe everyone else who has ever directed her has managed to rein in the utter madness that is this performance, and without that she just went wild. Just ridiculously over the top, to the point where you couldn't believe anyone on Earth would associate with this person. What the hell. She was like a character from Dodgeball in the wrong film and I didn't think any of the comedy involving her hit the right notes at all.

As textonly says, the film is mostly cliché stuff but it's done relatively well and the roller derby scenes are good fun. A lot of these films have a token sub-culture for the protagonist to fall in love with and escape their mundane small town life, but at least this is an interesting one and makes for some decent action scenes. Her parents are cookie-cutter characters but they do alright. Daniel Stern is a dude of men and Marcia Gay Harden remains a funny a name. Also Alia Shawkat from Arrested Development is in it. She's good. I enjoyed the coach and most of the roller derby announcer's schtick. I also approved of the pun-tastic roller derby alter-ego names. Oh, and Kristen Wiig. She does her awkward fractured speaking thing a bit which is always good for getting an easy laugh out of me, but she also gets to serious it up a little bit.

Having recently watched Adventureland and Freaks and Geeks and seen them to relatively similar things a whole hell of a lot better I wasn't overly impressed, but it was warm and fuzzy and watchable and stuff. Hurrah.

I think we're watching Piranha 2: THE SPAWNING this week. James Cameron's first movie. I can't wait, though I'll be stunned if it tops the absolute brilliance of the first one.

EDIT: The trailer I saw for The Time Traveler's Wife was really really sinister. He came accross like a time-travelling groomer.

i like Ethan Hawke

and i thought the point of it was that the characters were kind of despicable, especially the Hoffman character. They all get involved in something way over their heads. The brothers are both as bad as each other, desperate men do desperate things. I still felt sorry for everyone in it though, it was just harsh.

Loved it.

Up In The Air - George Clooney plays a company 'downsizer' travelling across America firing people for a living. Seemingly loving the fact he spends 90% of his life in hotels, having one night stands and never having to deal with home issues such as family etc. When a young executive is placed on the road with George he's taken out of his comfort zone and starts looking at his life.
This film is fucking fantastic. I expect a leading man Oscar nom for Clooney. The script & performances are all top notch. My girlfriend didn't enjoy it as much as I did but I had a fixed grin throughout. Your enjoyment may depend on how much you like Clooney (he's onscreen for 99% of the film) but he shines in what seems like the perfect role for him. I'm looking forward to watching this again already.

What's not to like about Clooney? He's been brilliant in pretty much everything I've ever seen of his, and can do high comedy and serious drama with equal skill. I watch everything he's involved in as a matter of course.

To be honest, I didnt think One Fine Day was much cop, was not feeling the Clooney love

Then I watched Chain Reaction for the first time in years last night , and wondered why everyone thought it was shit? if it had JCVD or Segal or someone else it would be lauded. Decent enought action film Keanu Reeves, Morgan Freeman, Brian Cox, Fred Ward and Rachel Weisz means your nearly there with a cult film

Yeah, but you could replace Keanu Reeves with JCVD or Segal in a lot of his films and they would have been better.

Fair comment, Well made. Bugger

Ah.

Well, I haven't actually seen it

You should. It's quite wonderful in it's own horrifically shit way.

Disclaimer. Batman & Robin may:- make you lose the will to live, rake your own eyes owt with a spork, think about becoming a monk, invest in Dignitas and then use its services, leave your brain unable to be donated to scientific research and ruin any perception of reality you may have had.


Viewer caution is advised!

I watched Taxi Driver for the first time last night. I didn't like it. It was too arty, his character wasn't explained or fleshed out, nothing particularly happened. I can't see why it would be a particularly acclaimed film or go on to be such a success. Anyone else feel this way?

In fairness to Gorgeous George, he's the first to admit that Batman & Robin is awful and that he's awful in it. It provided the springboard from television to Hollywood for him so I doubt he regrets it. I also happen to think he's excellent. Michael Clayton is one of the most underrated films of the decade.

Bird with the Crystal Plumage

This is THE classic Giallo (murder mystery film) from director Dario Argento.

Argento can be praised (or Blamed) for the first major success of the Horror/suspence film (think SAW but from the 70`s with slightly less gore and alot more emphasis on suspence and tension) .

A writer witnesses a murder in an art gallery. The murderer traps the writer and he is forced to watch the woman struggle until the police can free him. He then sets out to solve the brutal murders which he has now been a witness to.

For a film that is now 40 years old you would think would be past its time. How wrong you would be. Argento has been praised as the `Hitchcock of the horror/suspence`and this directorial debut proves without a shadow of a doubt that gore and shocks have absolutely nothing on suspence and atmosphere. I was engrossed from the first 2 minutes. The imagery and brightness of the artmuseum as the woman is struggling and the sheer desperation of the witness as he realises theres nothing he can do but watch her die is amazing. Follow that up as we follow the writer as he pieces together the clues and tries to work out exactly whats happening.

Of course the fun of these film is trying to piece together the clues ourselfs and seeing if we`re correct in our assumption. (I wasn`t!)

An excellent film for the more decerning suspence fan.

Watched Daybreakers today.

Found it to be a refreshing alternative to the fountain of garbage Vampire movies being released at the moment. Some jumpy moments, but not necessarily a horror movie.

prepare yourself for Ethan Hawke backlash.

Watched The Hurt Locker last night and I must say I thought it was tremendous

Saw 'Avatar' last night, very impressive visually but the story did nothing for me. Didn't feel engaged by the characters or plot at all - not sure if its the revolutionaly, cinema-changing film James Cameron said it would be, but still. Entertaining, but nowhere near the classic it could've been.

Also made the mistake of watching 'Sex Lives of Potato Men'. Avoid at all cost!

If what I've been reading about the push 3D is gonna be getting then it will certainly be remembered as the 'cinema-changing film' it's touted as.

It seems that people are already shoe-horning the phrase "post-Avatar" into any and all discussions on the future of movie effects and the impact it's had in that respect. I still maintain it's not a particularly great film though.