I watched MicMacs as it was a christmas present and I loved it. The colours, the plot and the actors all make a brilliant film, strongly recommend for anyone who wants a cool funny film with a real fun plot and great visual effects.

Superman Returns: Seen this before of course and still love it. Traditional Superman who can do anything he wants against an evil ruthless Lex Luther played brilliantly by Kevin Spacey with a ruddy big lump of kryptonite - can't go wrong!

Anti-Christ: If you want to see a fucked up film, watch this. Haven't worked out if I liked it or not yet, it's certainly different. In a nutshell, a couple come to terms with the loss of their infant son with the father experiencing hallucinations and the mother becoming a borderline rapist. Includes some BRUTAL mutilation scenes - not one for the kids!

Watched Grown Ups today, was decent and warming althought they were trying a bit to hard for laughs at some points. Salma Hayek is absolutely gorgeous though.

Watched the 2009 version of Dorian Gray last week and remembered how much I love this film. Ben Barnes is very convincing as Dorian and Colin Firth puts in a great performance as his mentor.

And last night I saw The Kings Speech - one word for you: Amazing! A great storyline, a number of well known actors playing excellent parts and even some laughs which I wasn't expecting.

Tim Curry in Legend is his best performance in my opinion. Still frightens me!

Caught Cars and Three Kings over the weekend, enjoyed both. Cars is another great effort from Pixar, whilst the latter is really entertaining and with an interesting story to boot. This is what the A-Team film could've been in a way.

I caught this on some channel a couple of weeks ago, but it's one that I've watched many times from a now fuzzy VHS recording. It's a great, daft, film that is clearly not suited toward a mainstream American audience.

Also worth noting that it has Madeline Khan and Collette Camp (with jugs aplenty) in it too. Originally, the different endings were sent to different cinemas, each only playing the one they were sent.

"Who are you?"
"I'm the butler"
"And what do you do?"
"I buttle"

It's the accepted opinion that Tim Curry was awesome in pretty much everything until he became a porker. The last thing I saw him in was the paedorific Legend Of The Moonacre, where he looked like Jeremy Beadle's bloated corpse. Sad.


This week, I have been mostly watching films by Russ Meyer. Tonight I'm watching Motor Psycho. Haji is bloody gorgeous in the black and white ones.

Watched The Men Who Stare at Goats on BBC2 Sunday night. I really enjoyed it, it was different! Apparently it was based on a non-fiction book by Jon Ronson. I'm all the more intrigued now

Anyone else see it? Anyone read the book?

Oh yeah in the credits there's a website: firstearthbattalion.org

Wondering if it's a spoof... Anyway only just found the site so don't call me a gullible fool already lol

I rewatched Ocean's Eleven the other day. Really fun film, but Don Cheadle as "Basher" is one of the worst acting performances I've ever seen. Shit is worse than even porn acting. What the fuck is that accent?

Ok so this might not be everybodys cup of tea, but i watched:

Les Misérables

It was the 25th anniversary dvd edition, performed live at the O2. For those who dont know, its a big west end style musical/opratic (sp?) style show.

The general story is: This guy gets released from prison, although he has to carry a note around saying he is a former prisoner, thus not gettinng any work. He is taken in by the local pastor, who he steals bombs loads of silver from. The Rev allows him to take it, and start a new life with the money he would get.

Many years later, he has opened up a brothel (not very dignified, although he is now a rich man). A young girl gets into a spot of bother with some upper class type, who gets her sentanced to death. The now rich man agress to take in her child who currently live with (i think) her sister. He takes the girl in to raise as his own, paying off the sister and her fella accordingly, (the fella played by Matt Lucas, who is actually awesome!).

Many more years later, the girl has grown up and fallen in love with "Marius" (Played by Nick Jonas of the jonas brothers randomly). Marius is also a part of the french resistance fighting against the government. During all of this the police man who put the main guy away, has been forever hunting him down again, and infiltrates the resistance. He gets found out, although the main bloke lets him go instead of killing him. The main man rescues nick jonas from the front line, and gets stopped by the coppa. The police man lets him go for saving his life, and kill himself.

After this the main guys daughter and nick jonas get married.....and thats about it. Loads of people die, loads of great music, and i cant say how much i actually enjoyed it!

Great show, i must see this live!

9/10!

I still don't see why they couldn't just give that role to someone actually english

Don Cheadle clearly has dirt on, or is fucking, someone powerful in Hollywood. There's very few other plausible reasons why he continues to get many acting gigs unsuited to a man of his distinct lack of talent.

Never, ever watch Romance. Not even if you are intrigued by why just how much I hate it. It's not a film that can be enjoyed in an ironic way. It's not a film that can be enjoyed in ANY way. It's an utterly hopeless and detestable pile of shit.

It's directed by this handbag-faced bint called Catherine Breillat, who has directed a long line of shitty borderline sexist anti-male films much like this. The best thing this woman has ever done is to be embezzled out of a few hundred thousand dollars by a bloke who she knew was a wanted con-man that she wanted to be in one of her films - as a con-man. Yeah, she's a bit fucking dim.

Anyway, this film. What it's supposed to be about is this woman whose boyfriend won't have sex with her, so she sets out on an odyssey of sexual experimentation and self-discovery. What it ACTUALLY is about is some sour-faced tart whose other half won't put out because he's sick of the sight of her having a face like a bag of spanners and tells her to piss off, which she won't, even though she gets a lancing by the likes of Rocco Siffredi and her boyfriend has a knob that can best be described as worryingly miniscule.

How does Breillat tell her story? She shoves in a few hardcore and non-simulated sex scenes, has the characters spout cod philosophical bullshit dialogue, and orders everyone to look as miserable as fuck. Take one particularly marvellous scene:-

This woman, Marie, is lying on her bed with her naked boyfriend, Paul. They're talking a lot of very deep and meaningful dialogue the likes of which you only get in French art films where the characters say a lot without actually saying anything at all. Anyway, she takes hold of his todger and starts giving him a bit of a hand shandy except, even though she's a bit of a looker, she can't even coax a semi out of him because she's got a face like a smacked arse. Then the best bit:-

Paul: "Why do you like it so much?"

Marie: "Because it's like a little bird in my hand."

Yes, Breillat, that's EXACTLY what it is like. Like a one-eyed sausage shaped bird that changes size depending on mood or temperature.

She even tries sticking a hardcore scene in there with the aforementioned Mr Rocco Siffredi himself to try and liven up proceedings but even his legendary pork sword can't even coax half a smile out of Marie.

To call this film piss poor would be about the biggest compliment I could give it. It's directed by someone who wants to give the impression that she's saying something profound but really she hasn't got the faintest fucking idea what she's doing or saying. I'm a big fan of French cinema and it's bollocks like this that garners French cinema a reputation for being poncey and pretentious. I hate Romance and I hate Catherine Breillat.

She had a stroke a few years ago. Even that didn't stop her from directing more films. For fuck's sake.

minus 0/10.

Haven't seen it but Anatomy of Hell is supposed to be much worse SPOILER - Highlight the black box to read
menstrual blood tasting Mmmm Rocco's in that too.

À ma soeur!/ Fat Girl is worth watching, endings a jawdropper.

Last night i got taken out to the ole cinema (or if your of a certain age like me you may still call it the pictures! And im only 22, maybe im just sad), to watch:

TRON: Legacy

Ok so i hadent seen the first movie, although i was well aware of the general outline of the first movie. I was going to hunt it down before i saw this one, although i got taken out.....so i didnt have time, but it will be interesting to now go back and watch it.

From what i'd heard from a few people, the story was a bit cack or generally the film was a bit cack. Well all i can say is, story wise......i wouldnt say cack, more "Straight forward", and im guessing this is for the people who hadent seen the first one like me, as it did a lot of explaining about the general idea of the first movie, and the gap inbetween, thus making the rest of the story fair play......and although maybe not to everybodys taste, to me it made perfect sense.

Either way, i found it highley entertaining, but the visuals........WOW. I mean i was expecting something visually good, but by god it was visually stunning. For me this instantly marked it up several notches, as unlike skyline (which in itself was also visually stunning) EVERYTHING was done to a T, and otherwise.....again......just ........WOW.

I wont spoil they story, but all i can say about it is the story is good, the visuals/music/Daft punk cameo are awesome, and i loved this movie. I can see how you could be really critical about films ans say "yeah it looked great, but the story was shit", but again the story was fairly straight forward and made sense to me, and otherwise again......WOW.

A great movie, maybe more one for the guys who love some great visual scences ,(Dont know why, but id imagine if you enjoyed watchmen like i did, you'll enjoy this), but otherwise a good movie.

The only down point is, although i gotten taken to see it by a friend he picked the 3D viewing. The movie displayed a message saying it was filmed in 2d, and was ment to be shown this was......so basically although there is 3D elements, its nearly non-existant.......so go for 2D and save youself the money, as id guess it wouldnt make much difference.

So yeh, i loved it!

8/10!

Finally got around to watching Shutter Island which is directed by someone who has been called Americas greatest living director Martin Scorscse and stars Leonardo Di Caprio who I think could be the best actor this generation. (A bold statement but one I stand by).

The film itself is just ok. Leo gives a great performance as per usual, as does Ben Kingsley and it is beautifully shot but I didn't really like much else. Believe it or not I called the "plot twist" almost immediately (apart from the anagram stuff) and I just found the whole movie quite boring. So much going on but nothing really happening.

Like I said I knew almost immediately that Leo was really a patient on the island (The fact that it is a psychological thriller pretty much gave it away) but I did like the very end in which he forces them to lobotomise him rather than him continue living with what he had done. "Live as a monster, or die as a good man."

Michelle Williams is just plain awful. I've never seen her give a good performance. Ever. (Never seen Brokeback Mountain.) If Seven can name 10 people who could do a better Joker than Heath Ledger then I'm sure it wouldn't be difficult to name 20 actresses that could have done a better job than Williams here. Speaking of Ledger, was this filmed before or after he died? If it was after then I suppose I could cut her some slack.

So, yeah, I didn't think much of Shutter Island but at least I can say I've seen it finally. If I had to rate it I'd give it 4/10. Not even Leo could save it.

Wow really?

I knew about the plot twist going into the film (id read up on it before i got there) but i loved it! A great movie, with loads of "did that really happen" sort of things thrown in, and everybody acted great in it. If it helps, give it another go as a friend of mine said exactley the same thing, but watched it again recently and loved it.

I agree with the Leo love.

The twist was pretty obvious but that didn't ruin my enjoyment of the film and actually enhanced it the second time around as you notice lots of actions from the characters that you didn't before.

I will give it another viewing eventually. The twist never ruined my enjoyment, I just didn't like it that much. Except for Leo and Ben.

I thought that message came up because the scenes in 'the real world' were filmed in 2d but 'the computer world' were filmed in 3d and it was just a warning to say, 'dont take your glasses off, some 3d is coming.'

Just watched Catfish. Not what I was expecting. Really liked it. Best not to give anything away about it, but I do recommend watching it.

just watched FIRED UP! and to be honest it may be silly humor but it really was a decent watch.

Well aparently according to the message, they'd re-done some parts in 3d, as some of the opening parts in the real world were in 3D, but it means the film was supposed to be shown in 2D.......so the parts that are in 3d, arent really noticable, and you may waste a bit of money.

Really? Thought the 3d bits were very noticeable and really stood out.

I noticed them, but i think thats the point, some of it was re-edited to be in 3d, where as it may of been supposed to be in 2d all along. Either way i thought it was fantastic, just saying if you fancy saving youself an extra £10 or something, see it in 2D.

Finally got round to seeing Scott Pilgrim vs The World last night. Not sure what to make of it. I can't tell whether it's a good or bad film because the effects masked pretty much everything in it. I enjoyed the effects and little nods to games/films though.

Just Managed to Pick up the Classic :

Red Peony Gambler 1-8 Series of Films, looking forward to watching some classic Japanese Cinema from the late 60's

I saw this yesterday too and I agree with the recommendation. Don't google it if you don't want it spoilled though, just watch it knowing as little as possible going in.

Went to see The Green Hornet yesterday and it was far better than I expected. It's obviously no oscar winner, but its fun, funny and really enjoyable. I wish Christoph Waltz had more lines, he's brilliant. Ever since Inglorious Basterds I've really wanted to see him in more, I think he'd make a killer Bond villain. I found it one of my favourite Seth Rogen roles, I know he seems to play the same character in pretty much everything but I thought he fit well.

Unfortunately I had to go see it in 3D as for some reason no Cineworld in the country showing it in 2D. It's utterly pointless, there's 2 moments in the entire film where 3D is properly used and they're just throw away things. It's a sad state where more people will go see it just because they get to wear stupid glasses, the sooner this fad dies out the better.

Going to see a preview of Black Swan on tuesday which I'm really looking forward to.

ALL of the footage set in the computer was in 3D. The opening credits were in 3D, and the bits in the real world were in 2D. It was also filmed in 3D, not converted afterward like Clash of the Titans and The Green Hornet were.

The message about it being in 2D is some people don't wander back out into reception and claim that they've been sent into the fully 2D version.

Watched Once Upon A Time In America yesterday, as I've been catching up on a bunch of classic movies recently that I keep meaning to get around to.

Hated it for a couple of reasons, and that annoyed me, because I mostly enjoyed the first three hours of the 220 minutes running time, even if the relentless nostalgia grated. Plentiful spoilers below.

1 - This was the most cavalierly I've ever seen rape handled in a movie. David rapes Deborah because he's angry that she's leaving. This is someone who hasn't given him any real reason to believe that she'd do anything. She's not his girlfriend. He's just fantasised for years that she would be. Then, thirty years later, they meet up again.

For some reason, the movie expects us to sympathise with David. They don't acknowledge the rape (or if they do, they really gloss over it), and the scene is basically played that he forgives her for leaving. I'm not saying these things can't be complicated in movies, and I'm not saying it needs some huge apology scene. But it was a rape that had no real consequences, and it was a story about him - not her. She was utterly dehumanised by the end of the movie, turned into nothing but a tool that Max uses.

2 - Max's plan was utter bat-arse. Seriously. If he intended to leave David alive in the first place, then why did he leave people there to kill him? If he intended to kill him, why did he knock him out? Why did he replace the money with paper? Why did he think that a plan that involved sending a letter to David informing him of the reburial of his friends (which should alert David and make him scared) would lead to him finding the mausoleum, finding the key on the plaque behind a door, making the association with the lockers, and then deciding to go to a place where he might get killed? It's hardly a foolproof plan, and that's before you get to the idea of someone faking their death and then becoming a very public figure. And evidently assuming David would never read a newspaper or look at a television.

3 - Crap storytelling and contrivances. Max's ex happens to work in a hospital which Max funded, but has no idea what the funder looks like, but happens to have a giant picture of the opening night, which the funder didn't attend. Luckily, David looks at the picture. Deborah goes totally against her character (unless her motivation was criminal ambition...), in order to achieve Max's bat-arse plan. Joe Pesci turns up again at one point for zero reason. We never find out who the hoodlums at the start of the movie are, or why they took the time to draw a corpse in bullet holes. We never see David get the invitation to the party, or see the reason behind the connection between the money and the Secretary (and it isn't the trade union leader, because that means David has assumed a connection based on the fact that he saw someone he knew).


I'd been mostly enjoying it up until then, and it's been a long time since a movie made me so angry. If anyone can tell me what I either missed, or why it deserves the reputation it has, I'm all ears.



Tonight was 'O Brother, Where Art Thou' as a palate cleanser.

Thought I'd add my thoughts to a few films I've seen recently.

It's a wonderful life

I saw this with the missus the week before christmas at the Glasgow Film Theatre. Great night and a fantastic film. There can't be many films with a more sympathetic protagonist than this one. You feel for him all the way as a man who just wants to lead his own life but if forced down a different path at each and every crossroads. Tremendous and fully recommended to anyone who hasn't seen it. A perfect 'christmas' film but really doesn't have much to do with christmas and only the climax of the films takes place then.

The Bishop's Wife
A nice film in a similar vein to it's a wonderful life but maybe not quite as good and a whole lot more cheesy. Cary Grant playing an angel is great in a Cary Grantish kind of way. The ice skating is lot of fun too. Could be a good watch in 11 months time if you're feeling Christmassy.

Harry Potter (whatever the most recent one is)
Not a huge fan of the series or anything but I enjoyed this. It benefits a lot from not being at Hogwarts in any way so doesn't feel constricted to cram the school scenes in like the other films were. My favourite part of the film was Harmione having to erase her parent's memory and then travelling through the scenes of her childhood memories. It felt like they did this in a reasonably understated way and didn't feel the need to drum home "I did this with my dad over here and this with my mum over there" and so on whilst still conveying the suffering and isolation she was going through.

My other favourite part was Ron's feeling of inadequacies and how he dealt with his relationships with Harry and Harmione as well as the relationship between the other two.

Serenity
Good but not as good as firely. In particular it lost a lot of its "Western" feel. Was a bit surprised at the fate of a couple of the main crew members from the TV series. Well worth watching if you followed the TV series.

The girl with the dragon tattoo
Had me intrigued for a bit as a mystery with the premise of nobody getting on or off the island and the photo that was taken and so on. However, lost a bit of interest after this and didn't much care for the Heroine's story. Her getting raped and her revenge seemed needless especially since it seemed like it was the experiences she encountered in her younger life that shaped her and not her sadisitc minder guy. Was alright but felt a bit drawn out and the reveal of the bad guy left me a bit underwhelmed.

Naked Gun series
Fantastic. Everyone need to see these. 3rd was probably the weakest but still plenty of laughs to be had.

Rounded up a few stray cattle this weekend that I didn't get the chance to watch yet. Just going to give some brief points :



The Damned United : I assumed this one was a football hooligan epic given it's title but instead it's a rather nice snapshot of the life of manager Brian Clough and his assistant coach - the bloke that plays Scabbers the rat in Harry Potter. Colm Meaney is in it too. He has a habit of just turning up like that. It's an entertaining way to pass two hours.

8MM : I loved it. It got panned of course but I found it hugely entertaining. Nicholas Cage plays Nicholas Cage trying to track down the makers of a snuff movie with the help of a flamboyant, lederhosen wearing Joaquin 'I don't know if I spelt his name right' Phoenix who - no stranger to having a riddiculous name - plays the porn store clerk Max California. There's something about Nicholas Cage's wife and child in it too, and something about a dead girl, but the main thing is that Phoenix helps Cage find a snuff movie production company.

One brilliant scene in particular sees the intrepid duo blend in with the L.A. underworld for a drawn out ten minute romp through an underground illegal porn supermarket in someones basement. Imagine the bar from Dusk Till Dawn having an S&M night and you're close enough.

Funny People : This is the one where Judd Apatow dissapears up his own arsehole. That trusty, loveable Seth Rogan goes with him of course. Two and a half hours for a 'this is my serious comedy movie' disaster that is very rarely laugh out loud funny [apart from the scene where a 'dying' Adam Sandler and Rogan make fun of Sandler's doctor, the actual guy who plays Carl from Die Hard, because he looks like someone from Die Hard - 'I just keep getting the feeling that you're going to be torturing James Bond after this!']

It's overlong and the story looses all meaning about an hour in when you find out that Adam Sandler's character is no longer dying. So you get a decent hours movie, then another 90 minute generic Apatow movie about getting the girl, dick jokes and suchlike. Apatow has this knack for covering up the fact that most of his scripts are not all that funny by never having punchlines that amount to nothing. No punchlines, just a constant stream of not really that funny dialogue that's read out endlessly by his casts as if they were normal everyday conversations. It usually amounts to Seth Rogan cut aways as he stands between two people saying 'No, don't do that to his balls!' or 'No, not the mountain lion! What are you sick?'

The Book Of Eli : Denzel Washington tries to keep the last remaining copy of the King James Bible from Gary Oldman who wants it for his own evil purposes. Honestly. I found it fun enough though it's not going to blow anyones mind or be either mans best movie. It's got a nice, washed out, overly orange and brown visual style that you will find either incredibly striking or incredibly annoying. The script was penned by newcomer Gary Whitta who is a video game journalist and this one has 'written by a videogamer' all over it. More than once I felt like I was back in Fallout 3.

Book of Eli
Good fun movie, some of the imagery you’d think came from Tony Scott rather than the Hughes Brothers but I enjoyed it and I agree with an earlier post the setting is very Fallout 3-esque and Denzil isn’t hamming it up that much.
Plus Mila Kunis is looking fine as always. 6/10

The Legend is Born: Ip Man
A prequel to the Donnie Yen movies, hugely enjoyable and on par with Ip man 1 & 2 I reckon. Good cast and although the story isn’t the most creative but it plods along nicely and intermixed with some great fights. 8/10

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zen
Donnie Yen reprises his role as Chen Zen from the mid-90’s tv series Fist of Fury which Bruce Lee also played in the Fist of Fury movie. Was really looking forward to this, however after a great start the movie fizzles out deciding to concentrate on the China/Japan tensions after World War 1 which at times are unnecessarily brutal and doesn’t fit the tone of the movie.
In doing this they’ve forgotten about the fights/action and when they do come they range from wow to nothing inspired. It just all seems rushed and too infrequent.
There is an uncut version due later in the year with (I hope) a lot more action. 4/10

Zombieland
Got this out on Blu Ray, and it entirely exceeded my expectations. A really funny, really exciting and stylish film. Woody Harrelson is particularly good, I thought, plus there's a hot emo looking girl to mope over. There's also a fantastic cameo by a much loved Hollywood star that I had no idea about, which was a nice treat. No idea if there'll be a sequel.

From Paris With Love
Shite.

I thought there was a really good move in Funny People but I agree what this got lost somewhat. I think Sandler was very good in it, and I usually hate everything he's in.

JLM EDIT!: The secrecy of the Zombieland cameo is sacred and makes the film a whole lot more enjoyable if you don't know about it, so I've removed it. You didn't break any spoiler rules or nothin', but it might save you some grief from people who haven't seen it.

It's a class film and that Emma Stone is a lasher alright. Decent soundtrack too.

I've had a PS3 for ages and I'm yet to watch a single Blu-Ray. Are they any good?

The biggest benefit of them in my experience has been the sound more than the picture. If you have a good set up there then I'd recommend them. The picture is obviously lovely as well, but I wouldn't expect to have your mind blown by it. Toy Story 3 is rather lovely on both counts though I must say.

I saw Zombieland with the cameo unspoiled as well. It really is amazing.

The last film I watched was Season of the witch. I wouldn't recommend it.

Funk Kontrol - I'd spoiler that, mate, as most of the enjoyment comes from the surprise, which you'll now be ruining!

I'm slightly obsessed with Emma Stone

Watched 'Let the right one in' last night. The swedish version. It was all a load of nothing really. Loads of weird kids and it was obvious from the start what was going on witht he girl and her Dad. It was just liek a weird, love story for 12 year olds with random add ons to the story. Having said that, it was OK, just not that great.

I didn't have that pleasure as a video of the Hollywood star collecting an award for said cameo was posted on here a while back, and I saw that before seeing the film.

But it was still tremendous, and count me in as another Emma Stone superfan too.

She's playing Gwen Stacey in Spiderman, which I'm slightly perplexed by. Surely she's the perfect MJ?

Watched The Sasquatch Dumpling Gang yesterday which is from the creators of Napoleon Dynamite. At first this put me off watching as I've never really 'got' ND. But I thought it was brilliant, not in a laugh out loud kind of way but I did have a few chuckles to myself. If you've 90 minutes that need filling I'd certainly give this a go.

Yes, i love this film. Odd characters and a strange storyline but a very enjoyable film.

Uh... I think, to paraphrase my favourite comedian Stewart Lee, it's just not for you.

apparently she isn't a natural red head tho, not that that matters. I'm sure they just want to erase Kirsten Dunst from everyone's mind and leave MJ out... Also be perplexed no more - Schwing!

Went to The King's Speech today. Really enjoyed it. Firth will win the Oscar. Geoffrey Rush was tremendous too.