**Disclaimer** Any 'clever' responses such as "threads like this LOLZ" will be treated with the contempt that they deserve.

Yeah, fairly straightforward.

* Zane Lowe - Why does this cunt have to always be irritating? Not only that, but has there ever been a more sycophantic, suck the cock of whoever he is interviewing host?

* Tie: That "Chasing Pavements" song/That "Mercy" song. Both overproduced. Both overplayed. Both sung by unattractive women with annoying voices. Both candidates for worst acclaimed song of the year.

* My boss. An insufferable mood swinging cunt that used to be my best friend until he got a small bit of power and exploited it. The day I or he leave and I can finally tell him how I feel about him before possibly punching him will be something to behold.

* The phrase "Yummy Mummy". Disgusting.

* The creepy CGI mess gay dog thing from the Churchill ads. Does this even need explaining?

Come on people, vent. It feels good.

I'll admit I don't have five picks right now, so I'll have to come back later, but the very mention of this guy's name angers me to the point that I feel the need to post.

It's getting to that time of year that the festivals are on, so while I'll stay well away from a radio when he's on there, he is incredibly annoying when he's on any of these shows. Every band he sees is "the best band of the weekend", and is even more cringeworthy when he starts singing along to the song getting played in the background while the person co-hosting has to speak up to talk over his pish singing.

Okay, I'm done.

1. Skinny jeans. They don't suit you. You look like a fucking cunt. Your legs aren't supposed to be that skinny, you fucking pricks.

2. People who eat something nice and say "Mmmmm"...what the fuck is all that about? How about saying "Mmmm" when your eating my shit with no fucking teeth. Annoying as FUCK.

3. All these gay whiny pussy shit that passes for music these days. What ever happened to bands where the guys sounded like men when they sing? Stop screaming like drowned cats you cum sipping cunts. And no eye liner or any of that emo/indie/ "alternative" fucking bollocks.

4. People who discuss politics and how important it is but have no fucking idea about it whatsoever. This stupid cunt of a woman at my work went on some long rant at me about why I should vote (my argument was "why bother if i don't support any parties views or ambitions") and how important it is but then went on to say "I won't vote for Gordon Brown, there's just something about him I don't like" and then 3/4 of the office agreeing with her. DIE.

5. Gay people who make an extreme point of being as fucking gay as possible just to show how "crazy" and "unique" they are. I got no problem with gay people but when they intentionally go over the top it's fucking pathetic.

You're right I do feel better.

1, People banging on about how great their life is when I'm doing not so good right now. Yeah, ok, you asked me how I'm doing and I said not so good. How is hearing about you doing fan-fucking-tastic going to help ME?!

2, Waiting for my new scooter. WANT IT NOW!!!!!

3, Insomnia. Sitting here at 3am waiting for someone to post something is not fun, I tell you.

4, Arthritis. One knee is bad enough. Both is taking the piss.

5, Party Political Broadcasts by the BNP. Self explanitory.

Didn't take me long to come up with five. Mainly because I've given you one in the reply. Wasn't as hard as I thought.

2) Panic Merchants. The case in point is definately up here right now, as the Grangemouth Fuel Refinery is closed down, and people were told that if they used their normal habits in regards to getting petrol, it'd be fine. Of course, now there might actually be shortages because nobody wants to listen to that kind of thing. They want to go out and clog up every petrol pump in Scotland and bleed 'em dry because they're panic merchants. Ugh.

3) Football supporters that don't like a manager when they come in, so when they DO a good job, it's ignored, and usually the arguement for sacking the manager is pretty stupid. I'm mainly speaking of the Morton supporters right now who want Davie Irons out. Why ? He's turned our constantly losing team into a side which, while not winning on a regular basis, aren't losing every week. Improvement. We got a 3-0 win on Saturday, and only the top three have beaten us since he came in. What is he supposed to have done ? Pushed for a top half finish with a shite team ?

4) Pro Evolution Soccer. As good a game as it is, it can be the most frustrating thing to do for fun. I can't remember any other football game where you could score a free kick, and the end result is a goal kick. Although there was FIFA 98 on the N64 where you could miss a shot and the ball would go through the back of the net and you'd get a goal for it. That was fun.

5) Plain ignorance in general.

I agree!

I was watching Kerrang the other morning at about 1am and it was a supposed 'Hardcore' playlist and so many bands today are full of pretty boys with their straightened hair, no balls voices and predictable songs. I can't even remember the names of them but I just wanted something like Harvester Of Sorrow from Moscow to come on and show them how it should be done.

Personally I find the seemingly endeless wave of glang-a-lang or so soft rock it hurts British bollocks to be much more offensive. Kaiser Chiefs, The Hoosiers, Scouting For Girls, Jack Penate, One Night Only, Razorlight, Pigeon Detectives, The Feeling, The Fratellis, etc... all need to stop. Please. I can't stand it anymore.

Depends if you're talking about your own mum or not.

I'm with you on Zane Lowe.

1. David Cameron - smug pretentious crap Blair-wannabe public pandering cunt

That's all I've got right now

Canb't think of 5 right now either, but one is

The "They're Hot" Brigade - People who go to gigs not because they like the music but because they think the band is hot. THey then proceed to get to the front in front of the real fans way, don't know the words and just scream annoyingly whenever the band talk.

1. Wireless internet. My brother's just hooked his computer back onto our network and now my internet is starting to play havoc again. No matter who we're with, the internet just takes the piss in this house.

2. Daytime TV. Being off school thanks to the late Easter holiday my school took means I'm stuck with really shite TV. God, I'm gonna need a job in summer or I'll go crazy.

3. Exam papers. Yes, I know I've got GCSE exams when I got back, but I don't need to be flooded in maths papers. We were given four and I've got a memory stick full of them from the teacher as well.

4. Yeah, I'm gonna go with skinny jeans. They make you look like a bloody twat. Especially guys wearing skinny jeans. They just look stupid.

5. My friends constantly bugging me about going to Alton Towers sometime next week despite the fact that I've told them repeatedly I've got no money to go and my parents won't lend me any money because they've just paid £70 for my music exam.

I can't go, drop the fucking subject!

Wow. I do feel better for that.

SHIT ! That reminds me of Jeremy Kyle. Loser. Probably would have been a better choice than most of the ones I picked.

Infact, I feel much much worse now.

Getting beat by Sheffield United while surrounded by utter morons who follow our club to one game a season, fight amongst themselves and slag the team off.

Getting up to go to the Gym. I have to convince myself every morning.

People who let their kid scream while you are trying to enjoy a nice pub lunch. Inconsiderate, lazy bastards.

Going to work. The guy who sits next to me is the most miserable bastard alive. He's leaving on Friday, we're counting down the minutes.

The Rain. When is it going to stop raining? For a start, I want to get the lawn sorted out and the garden tidied but it's rained every weekend for ages.

1. Effectively having £30 to stretch 9 days. My own fault in 5 out of 6 ways, but it still sucks.

2. Waiting for "our" IT guy (who jumped to another company we're contracted with) to call me, explaining patiently why his re-jigged software doesn't fucking work, watching him commandeer my computer remotely making me waste a good half-hour, listening to him tell me it's fixed without explaining how... and five minutes later finding out it still doesn't work. GOTO 10.

3. The music in my main gym room, which is slightly more bearable than the homoerotic tripe they play in the changing rooms.

4. Working 6 minutes from a corner shop and 20 minutes from anything slightly resembling a decent lunch. Made even worse when the weather is fairly decent... which brings me onto

5. Having nothing to do at lunch besides surf, read or waste time staring through the entrance gazebo. Made even worse when the weather is fucking crap.

1. Getting screwed over on mario kart. Why can't the other drivers just be better with harder difficulties instead of cranking up the screw-job factor.

2. People who go on and on about how bad music is and when asked what they listen to proceed to spout of lists of awful screamy death metal bands and/or awful generic r n b singers.

3. People like me who attack every one elses musical tastes when they should just accept that music is popular for a reason and that is that large groups pof other people enjoy listening to it. So fuck off and stop trying to mould everyone else into a clone of you and your tastes you stupid ignorant shit.

4. People who spout off a bunch of buzz words and phrases and think that it makes you sound big and clever. It doesn't. Having a point and facts to back it up makes you clever.

5. NPower, dragging their feet over investigating my faulty electricty meter until I had left for another company and then ending the investigation without telling me when I'm still entitled to a refund. Then after weeks of phoning they suddenly tell me 'oh, you have to get your new supplier to fix it and then get them to tell us before we can give you any sort of refund'. Bastards.

I don't think I've ever agreed with you more. He's the new John Peel you know.

Scottish football journalists. Graham Spiers is the worst of the lot, nothing but a bitter moron. I think he proclaims he supports Rangers too, I highly doubt it.

People who repeat themselves. I have a mate who asks the same question 4 times before he gets the message.

Americans on Call of Duty online. Nothing but a bunch of loud, stupid, annoying fannies.

Scotsport. Take a look at Match of the Day, boys, and find out how to run a decent football highlights show (even if comedy Lawro is on there).

Can't think of another for now.

EDIT: And people who use the word 'random' all the fucking time.

I wait a few days for Sportscene. Either that, or watch the highlights on the website. Mainly because that ex-Hearts player that's constantly on Scotsport, it does my nut in. I stopped watching a while back because of him.

Here's my five at the moment;

1) My brother and his stupidly LOUD conversations on X-Box live, now that it's back up albeit on a different name it's going to be long nights as he's on 'study leave'. "CAN YOU HEAR ME!?!" is bellowing around the house at regular occurances.

2) Ironing, whoever invented the iron was just short of a genius but an utter cunt as well. Why won't the creases just come out easier? Or am I being too perfectionist with my shirts?

3) The estate agents; you have everything you need to know, you have phoned/faxed/e-mailed/posted/contacted my boss, my bank and every other thing on the listing you wanted from me. Just tell me if I can have the property or not!

4) My ex; her insistence on being an utter fucker within everything really does piss me off. Yes I will give our son money for the holiday which you booked with the rest of your extended clan (Her sister and her kid and her mate and her five kids.) and only chipped in £50 to but will only spend it on beer and fags because you're a self indulgent cunt and only gave me around a week to come up with some. Seemingly I'm the bad guy for not wanting to give her extortionate amounts of money just to see my son and have complied with the list of things he needs due to the refusal of handing over money.

5) My slaggy co-worker or lack of; Miss X as I will call her is a stupid slaggy whore who should of been sacked way before now but has seemingly clutched and hung on more times than she should have been given. She has the cheek to slag me off to other staff about my workrate just after I did her job whilst doing my own. (Her job in question was organised filing which she still couldn't grasp! HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT!?!) As well as fucking off every five minutes to go for a cig then having the utter cheek to complain when I need to use the toilet. (As I don't smoke I'm not supposed to have any breaks apart from lunch but fuck them she's only supposed to have one in the morning and one in the afternoon but blatantly doesn't.) Stabs me in the back to management after misquoting a private discussion between myself and another co-worker in a private room (Or not so private after finding out afterwards.) which was quickly squashed but her mouth wouldn't let itself shut and has opened another huge can of worms with her disappearing off into other staffs room and chewing their ears off when she should be doing work. There is more but I can't say anything as it implicates me and would cause more trouble than is needed within work.

Sorry for the use of caps and long explanations. I spewed, I feel better.

1. r&b music. Its the same generic crap all the time from people that look the same and talk the same and sing about the same stuff. the videos look identical and its just absolute garbage. how anyone can like that "music" is beyond me.

2. "wiggas". White people that dress like ghetto youths you see in america. Its a disgusting look on anyone but seeing a white person try so hard to be someone and something that he's not (ie, a ghetto youth) is just pathetic and sad.

3. Ashley Cole. Should be number one. i hate this human being with a passion. Whether it be his attitude on the pitch or the fact that he nearly crashed his car after ONLY being offered a 5 grand a week pay rise, i just think this vermin is the lowest scum bag possible.

4. People who play loud mobile music on buses. Very inconsiderate. need i say more?

5. A snide bastard i used to work with. The most 2 faced cunt on the planet. He'd try and be your best friend to your face then the second someones back was turned he'd bitch about him. Just hate liars and 2 faced people

I've got a couple to be going on with

Nano-blitzers and jet-packers - playing Madden online is frequently ruined by these cunts. I don't mind losing if I cock up or if the other guy's better than me, but I hate losing to people who exploit the AI to the point of making the game meaningless.

My Super Sweet 16 - I'm not a violent person, but I could quite happily stove the face in of every ungrateful cunt that's ever appeared on the show. After that I'd give the parents a beating for bringing up such repugnant children.

Yeah I hate EVERY single one of those churchill adds, I want to smash the TV Screen when I see them.

Wireless internet is a bugger too, hate that when I try to download anything (FM patches, skins) my account seems to drop the connection after a few mins. Bloody annoying. Oh and it resets itself every 3 or 4 hours anyway so I have to restart my machine when that happens.

Not being able to predict what my cat is going to eat is annoying me, I just ended up opening 4 pouches for her because she sniffed, didn't eat and then complained until I gave her something else.

People in clubs/bars that seem to think that their request is SO much more important than the other 20 requests I am trying to get through and don't understand WHY I can't play Basshunter after I've just played Faith No More....

That's about all I have hatred for at the moment.

1. Workmates, one is a bi polar mad woman, she used to be really nice to me, but in the past 6 weeks, she has turned into a bitch, I have no idea what the fuck I have done wrong, I even asked her the other day, she said it was in my head, BULLSHIT, YOU BI POLAR FUCKER, IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS DO NOT TAKE THEM OUT ON ME YOU FUCKING BITCH. I might go in tommorow and find out what the fuck is up with her, she used to make a point of talking to me, and flirted like mad, that has now stopped and she does not talk to me at all.
2. People who make dickheads out of people, I like a joke, but making someone look like a prick infront of a load of people is wrong.
3. The fact my life is piss and has not turned out like anything I have planned.
4. Ghostbusters 3, it does not exist, why.
5. SMELLY BASTARDS, GET A WASH.

This could go on for a while, I have a lot of hates at the moment.

at the moment my g/f's complete lack of awareness regarding time, No matter how many times I ask her when she THINKS she might be ready to go out she never knows, then I don't eat as we're meant to be going out then she'll tell me she's eaten
Does my fucking nut in

i'm a very negative person so this wasn't so hard.

1. My Chemical Romance. I heard what people said about the state of music and i agree in the vast majority of cases but these guys really piss me off to a whole new level. Whiny, pathetic little shits who can't hold a fucking tune. And their "message" is the most narsistical dribble i've ever heard. "We're here for the kids like us. Who one time kinda thought about maybe possibly cutting my arm maybe once before i realised i'm a tortured and artistic soul". The only thing i find good about this band is when i see a fan dressed up in ful dark parade outfit (the black archaic soldiers jacket). I walk up to them and say "Yes. Fucking Brilliant. I love Adam and the Ants"

2. The Book Charts. Reading through people's top 5 boks recently really put the emphasis in my mind. I walk into Smiths and i look at the books and i'll see a handful of author written books and then a ton of celebrity books. you know what would make Lewis Hamilton's book more interesting if he'd FUCKING DONE SOMETHING. pathetic.

3. My ex-flatmates neurotic girlfriend. She's not really a bad person and i get on well with her. but the things she does with him made me very annoyed me. Waiting an hour and a half to have a piss cause of there watery sex. And not being able to see my friend an entire evening when shes not there because she's on the phone to him. This is not an exaggeration, me, him and my other flatmate would took a big dinner for 7. At 7 she'd ring him. At 11.30 he'd finally come down. That's not normal and the poor guy didn't eat a cooked meal for a month.

4. The new satire films. I am a huge fan of Mel Brooks and Danny Zucker films (Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, Airplane and Naked Gun) so when i see films like Scary Movie, Meet The Spartans and Epic Movie, i feel very angry. How could it all go so wrong?

5. Trains. Oldie but goodie, but i am very upset about them cause this past november my dad missed my graduation ceremoney because of the trains. Plus these past few times i've used the trains i've gone to sleep and get woken up by grumpy ticket inspectors. I don't mind being awaken but they could be more polite or pleasant about it. Fuck i'm the guy woken up by some turd, i shouldn't be the one to make polite comments and small apologies.

i've got more but this was 5 only so

1. Slow-walking people hell-bent on taking up the whole of the pavement: Doodling down a local street is one thing (albeit still irritating). I can easily cross the road if need be or squeeze past the turtle-people. Doodling down fucking Oxford Street, a road with two constant streams of human traffic, is a piss-take. When they come to a dead stop and wonder why people are walking into them makes me want to usher them in front of a bus.

2. Slackers at work: Going for a 5-minute cigarette break every 30 minutes, standing around doing nothing/talking (sometimes blatantly on the phone) and/or leaving for lunch/breaktime 5 minutes early and coming back 5 minutes late while other people are working. Granted, everyone is entitled to a few minutes rest, but these guys take the piss.

3. A nagging feeling that all the numpties from school/college are doing better than me: Made worse by remembering a mate telling me while in school "You'll be laughing when you've got a good job and they're doing nothing". I keep telling myself to pick out something brilliant to get into (anything's better than warehouse shite), I either can't get into it or find it.

4. My dad's inability to grasp the simple concept that my 21-month old nephew is NOT as big or smart as the rest of us and does NOT know what he's doing all the time: Gah, just his inability to communicate with people in general, but especially my nephew.

5. Now that it's been mentioned, Zane Lowe: One thing that ticks me off about him, in addition to sucking up, is the fact that he occasionally slags off his 'flavour of the minute' bands not long before/after praising the ever-loving shit out of them. Numpty to the power of infinity.

My big fat fucking bitch of a manager: I just hate her, there's a thread somewhere about her.

The fact that people cater for winging babies: Enough said

This other guy I work with, let's call him Mr. Tit: He just goes on and on and on, maybe the main thing that annoys me about him is that he reminds me so much of myself.

Ah I'd forgotten about this show, and hate the high-and-mighty shits with a passion. They have more money spent on them in an ordinary day than the average person would on their actual birthday, yet they're ungrateful enough to throw a hissy when their multi-thousand dollar party doesn't go 100% right. Here's hoping that on their 17th they got a savage back-hand.

Only got one right now and that is the fact i cannot pass my fucking driving test. And everytime i fail, it is on the silliest of things. Nit picking things.

Bastards.

I've forgotten about this too, burn the cunts.

Not having that. Famous Last Words is an absolutely brilliant song. I agree that their attitude and fans are completely hateful though.

Now I can't have that, I'm not hateful and I'm a fan.

Lessee...

1 - As said above, twats who take what feels like 2 hours to move 2 feet. Why? I mean yes, I understand some of the older generation are going to be slower moving... but that doesn't excuse them for walking dead pissing centre of a thin pavement or over a bridge, preventing anyone ever going past. Then they finally move over a little to let someone coming the other way through, only to immediately centralize themselves in the path. And if you ever dare try and get past, you get abuse. (and as it's not a seperate issue really, the same idiots who on the aforementioned bridge will meet a friend coming the other way, and stop dead, clogging up ALL human traffic in both directions, only to start tutting and moaning as people start pushing past them.)

2 - Gotta go with the music that's being bounced around now. There seems to be a huge amount of music from this country and America lately that is in one of 3 categories. 1) The "rock" we currently have, no, it's not rock, it's as has been said before, a bunch of whiney shits who only really get listened to because it's what is being pumped out by the mainstream companies lately (Give any of those emo shits a Guns and Roses album and they'll love it even more, pretty much guarenteed), 2) "Rap" which tends to be an extremely repetitive beat with a guy talking over it. I'd care more if there was some real music in the background. I have no problem with rap, but the majority of what I hear played from my sister is complete and utter piss, I'm not a rap fan, but can tolerate some stuff, the majority I'm hearing is repetitive crap about "fucking" and nothing else. 3) The worst of the worst, the annoying effing songs that are just an "artist" taking an already well heard song and adding their own crap above it... buggered if I remember the artist, but a noteable song was "Stronger" which is just Daft Punk's Harder Faster, Better Stronger (Or whatever the name was, my brain's not quite working, lol) with him talking over it. Create your own music for your piss poor crap for fuck's sake instead of stealing someone elses.

3 - Phones 4 U, I've mentioned it in another thread about how they screwed me over, so I wont write it all out here, but I'm currently stuck having to finish of paying for a massive bill as when they gave me my new contract, they failed to mention that this one didn't have Stop The Clock. Previously I could call anyone after 6pm for up to an hour and only use 2 minutes of talk time, suddenly I got a massive bill through and found out that they'd taken it off. Thanks, just fuck me over royally why don't ya? I now have to scrape together a load of cash just to pay off a bill I wanted you to avoid me ending up with in the first place, and now am living on next to nothing.

4 - Tesco, I've had a long damned day, so come home intending to have a spaghetti bolognese, get it cooked in the microwave only to find out the plastic casing had split and there were bits of casing in the food, dump that and decide to try a curry, which is so watery that it came out like a swamp, and the rice is rock hard. Yeah, fuck you Tesco is all I have to say about that one. Looks like a sandwich for dinner tonight...

5 - Our lodger, I mentioned him in another thread, but thank fuck he's out in just over a week! The only flaw is that no cunt's gonna be in when he leaves, so we need to arrange someone to be here in case he tries causing shit.

The price of getting off this god forsaken fucking island.

Supernatural

The Sacla advert

One of my cats (remember cow?) who peed on my bed. yup, BED! i've spent all day cleaning it.

the lack of new lol cat peektures

Rap I also find annoying as it has now become the music of the chavs. If you hear a car coming up with rap music playing, you can guarantee that it's filled with pasty faced, skin headed, tracksuit wearing chavs.

Not saying all people who listen to Rap are chavs, just most of them.

I think you mean David and Jerry Zucker. Danny Zucker is John Travolta's character in Grease.

I don't watch much TV, and very rarely listen to the radio, so I only have the vaguest ideo of who Zane Lowe is. Go me!

Anyhow, 5 things:

1 - My place of employment still not having paid me the back-pay they owe me from last fucking June. There is absolutley no fucking excuse anymore. I'd been told that it was being looked into since last September, and found out (by shortcutting and getting the issue raised with the MD - who's actually a decent guy - that it was the first he'd heard about it). The meeting I was due to have with the office manager last week didn't happen, and as all the wage applications and shit have to be processed by the 15th of each month, I have a strong suspicion that I won't be getting it this month either.

2 - That little ginger bastard with his trousers tucked into his socks and his mates that use either my kitchen window or my car as a fucking goalpost. The day you turn 18 you little shit I'm going to kick the fucking daylights out of you. Assuming you don't get bigger than me.

3 - My sweet tooth. I hate the bloated feeling I get after drinking fizzy stuff, but I still drink it regularly. Coke makes me bloated and gives me gutrot. An unpleasant sensation that is somehow only remedied by drinking more Coke. Bastards!!!

4 - Road works. They're all over the fucking place at the moment. To get home from work (about 6km) I have to go through 3 lots of major roadworks. How about giving us some notice that there's some raised/dropped manholes that you've not resurfaced properly around?
I'm still fuming over the stupid twats that did the works at the crossroads at the bottom of Debdale Lane, where they fucked up the temporary traffic light sequence and were sending traffic from opposite directions down a single lane at the same time.

4 1/2 - Orange. Not only do they Direct Debit me without sending me an invoice first, but they overcharge me. It'll take three weeks to get the overcharge back, but that's not what's really pissed me off. Not having any notice that money was coming out of my account, and only having enough in to cover what I'd actually used, the overcharge took me over my overdraft limit. Cue one charge for a Direct Debit without funds to cover it, and another charge for unauthorised overdraft. I'm bad enough at managing my money without shit like this.

5 - Petrol. How fucking much?

5) All the pathetic little mosher/emo cunts who dress like Twats and hang out on Devonshire Green/The Peace Gardens "I dress like this bacause i'm an individual" yeah, thats why you look EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME AS YOUR FRIENDS!

4) Crap music, much like most in this thread, I really don't get why people like bands like My Chemical Romance. I also don't get how "remixing" a song makes you an artist, or why the fuck that tone deaf slappers cover of "valerie" gets as much radio airtime as it does. also the little wankers who play their "Niche" bollocks on their mobiles on packed busses, IT SOUNDS SHIT WHEN THE BASELINE IS MASSIVE, IT SOUNDS WORSE COMING OUT OF A TINNY MOBILE SPEAKER.

3) Gutar Hero 3's wireless controller, fine, it needs batteries, but to make it incompatable with my play and charge kit, the reason for buying said kit was to AVOID PAYING THROUGH THE ARSE FOR BATTERIES is just fucking inexcusable.

2) The distinct lack of all the gobby Wednesday bastards who were in the pub taking the piss when we weren't doing so well. Cowards.

1) The morons who, when walking along a busy street, decide to stop right in front of you, without warning, then look at you LIKE IT'S YOUR FUCKING FAULT!

OMG yes! and the ones that stop and talk, taking up all of the pavement!
and the grannies with their trollies in the supermarkets who leave their trolly in the middle of the aisle so no one can get through while they fuck off looking for piles cream.

5 Getting Banned from the footie forum of a team you support, when you complain that some thread over a ten year old boy who has died in an RTA, who has nowt to do with the team, or supporting the club where the forum is based, is a bit much and RIP messages for him are a bit fucking stupid. yes its tragic and shit.. but is it really to do with football and the team we support? ( in a forum marked football talk for that team.. so why couldnt it be moved to off topic.) and lots of people die in car crashes.. go to www.road-peace.org (iirc) if you need the support.... they helped me.

4.Next door emos. Yes, next door have moved in and what was once the best old lady in the world ever whos a mad keen Bingo player and is generally ace.. to a bunch of emo kids who constantly play crap music..I wouldnt mind if the bloke singing didnt sound liek a dying cat underwater... the melodies are okay.. and occasionally they play some decent stuff.. just not often and are filling our yard with their fag butts and rubbish cos they cant be arsed to purchase or blag an astray is a pain.

3. Kerrang FM.... Oasis and Coldplay and the Kooks, among others on what was on one poit a decent RAWK station..... some thimes theirs decent stuff, however its like local radio with *some* rawk elements.... if i hear the The Hoosiers, or Panic at the Disco itll be too soon

2. Being Ill- nearly a year and still no diagnosis, been off work and am totally skinted.. so when people say can you do this, the standard response is avec Quoi... leading on to

1 . Canada Fucking Life.. I have an insurance policy through work with them that should pay 75 percent of me salary until iam better/til retirement etc.. their average claim takes 14 weeks to process. I applied in October 2007, its now April and they are now sending some rehabilitation dudes to see us, despite, no pay out, and no one having the foggiest what the fuck is wrong with us and4.5 hour medical and a visit from a harley street physician!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!

Yep thats who i meant sometimes i can be a right muppet.

one or two other things i hate right now and decided to write it now before a new thread.

Laguna Beach- you ever seen this show? MTV at it's worse. A bunch of rich brats who are all sixteen and own a large beach house with balcony and jicuzzi (sp?) and whose first car is a jaguar or merc-benz. hilariousy it comes with a disclaimer at the start which says "all the drama you see is real" but it's nothing but Paris Hilton wannabes (which should tell you how sad it is) talking about what slags they are.

My paranoia- i hate it. i want to get in touch with several friends but i only have their facebook pages to contact. Unfortunately, i can't do facebook as i'm genuinely concerned i'd turn into something of a stalker and ruin my life. Plus, i think i'm turning into a recluse. I spend alot of time inside and when i'm out i look at other people and think bad thoughts.

cliquey excuse- read it in a thread on here recently and it's just a lame excuse. I'm not in any clique as i only met one or two other ukffers and think if you upset someone and people pick on you for it, grow a pair and get over it.

One quick one before an inevitable update tomorrow.

People at ATMs who take for-fucking-EVER to make a cash withdrawal. I go to an ATM with one purpose, to take out a preconcieved amount. This usually takes about oh, 60 seconds, yet for some reason, everyone in the queue infront of me seems to stop the fucking world while they survey every little possible option infront of them. Or you get stuck behind the cunt with four different cards who just has to take money out on all of them.

1. People who say "so and so told me something so bad today!" and you go "oh yeah, what?" and they go "I can't say, its a secret"
Why the fuck tell me they said it then? Total annoyance.

2. Old people who demand respect- if an old woman gets on the bus and your sat in the old people seats cos there isn't any room, i'll happily move of my own free will, but if an old person gets on and just stares at you as if you've pissed on their grandkids until you move, or rather than politely ask they just tell you to move, its rude. I also don't see what makes them so special, yeah they're a bit less energetic and more frail than younger people, but it's no reason to act like a dick and behave as if the world owes you a favour just because your older. (this isn't ALL old people BTW)

3. my girlfriend when she's in a mood or annoyed and says "nothings wrong" then stresses at me ALL day until I finally bug it out of her and it's just something like "I think i'm fat" when she blatently isn't and my own mum has even referred to her as a "skinny bird"

4.When you don't have any batteries in the house and have to swap them out of other things.

5. when people (chavs in particular) say "wat u lukin at" and if you EVER reply with "you...obviously" they go "ya bein funny mate?"
honestly, they're just so thick it hurts sometimes.

I seriously fucking hate people swapping batteries around in stuff. Buy more batteries. Buy in bulk when they're on special offer. It also bugs the absolute piss out of me when someone puts mismatching brands of batteries in something. And when there's no battery cover on a remote control.

I fucking hate those cunts, although it stopped once I turned 20.

I used to wind the little fuckers up so much, and embarass 'em in front of their mates.

good times.......

TV Adverts - I absolutely detest them they are so dumbed down and repetitive to me, four and a half minutes of utter annoyance interrupting my viewing pleasure, its no wonder I'm into the whole downloading kick, as it were, this way I avoid seeing things like these crappy jeans adverts were everyone's a bland 20 something metro-sexual poser with designer stubble walking through the streets of L.A and sadly not getting mugged or assaulted.

Stage6 being dead - Ever since that site went down, its been back to the slow tedium of bit Torrent and a few lesser sites that offer a similar service, but there all small time and/or limiting whereas Stage6 was the daddy of all streaming sites and they even have the nerve to link you too Veoh.com as a substitute which is like going from Champaign too Toilet water.

BBCIPlayer - I cannot get that thing too work for me at all, it downloads the yucky pink box and then just sort of does nothing, its a waste of time and effort on my part.

Posh people pretending to be poor - Designer poor a friend of mine coined it, be it actors, musicians or real people I cant stand it, its never convincing it always sounds like someone has seen Lock Stock a few times and decided "Ill be a rhyming slanging mockney", they always sound stupid and look out of place, if your middle class don't try to be working class people only ever resent you for it.

Druggies/Wino's/Bums - I don't know if its just my town or everywhere these days but I'm sick and tired of seeing these red faced, pale complexioned, yellow teethed scabby looking Zombies giving me evils when I walk by, when they look like there about too keel over and die[which wouldn't be a bad thing] stinking up Clacton beach and sleeping on park benches or slobbering about the War Memorial shouting at each other loudly and generally being unpleasant and foul, I can understand some people aren't as fortunate as myself but to be a public disgrace like that is just depressing too see.

Agree totally.

Also, to add to my earlier post, assholes who get on the bus and take up 2 (and sometimes 4) seats. Once had a massive suitcase as I was heading to a mate's house, normally I'd stick it in the luggage rack but it was a stupid bus with a tiny one, thus I needed to either take up an entire 2 seats with the bag (I refuse to do so unless it's one of the few times guarenteed to have a totally empty bus), or stand it on the floor and make sure it stays upright by sitting on the front side-ways seats and keeping it up with my foot. Only flaw was that some annoying chavvy git was sitting bang centre of a seat which is meant to seat FOUR people, and had his legs spread so wide he was blatantly taking up the entire thing while chatting to his mate opposite.

I just put my bag on the floor against the luggage rack, and sat straight down on the seat, immediately onto his leg, he instantly pulled his leg back in and says "watch where you're sitting." I just looked at him and replied with "sorry, I thought there was enough room on here for both of us" and stuck my MP3 player on.

Not normally the type to do that, but I had a big sodding suitcase I'd had to drag up to the bus stop then haul onto the bus, I wasn't in the mood for fucking about.

I've had times like that.

Once I had this twat in front of his mates said the same thing with a few handicap insults thrown in and I simply replied.

"I got this really bad smell and was looking around to see what it was and it turned out to be you."

I know it wasn't very clever but it pissed him off.

His mates all just sort of snickered behind his back (I suppose he must have been the idiot leader)

Luckily no violence came of it, but I do still see him now and again and he's even tried giving me the "alright?" eyebrow raise that some people do sometimes.

1) Max Clifford. I just saw the Louis theroux special with him, he seems such an utter cunt. Ironic, given that he's supposed to be so good at PR, that he is almost universally hated.

2) Channel 4 Property shows. "I've bought a house for £250,000. I've got a budget of £45000 to renovate it. Whoops, I've gone over budget by £195000 and yet I still manage to sell my house for £800,000." Fuck right off.

3) Tax.

4) My Super Sweet 16. A sterling choice by earlier contributors to this thread. Here's hoping that none of the 'stars' of that show see their 17th birthday.

5) Wedding costs, and the fact that my father-in-law won't foot the bill or even contribute to the considerable cost.

1: Kerry Katona, why the fuck anyone would give this irritating slag a show is beyond me. Mums gone to iceland? What happens when one day your kids see that video of you with your fist up your pussy?

TIE: Peter "Fuckin" Andre & Jordan, anyone who's seen Human Traffic gets the "Fuckin" reference. I hate the both of them, she's made a living from having fat tits and now she regrets ever getting them done. She's obviously not too bright because she let Dwite Yorke blow his beans up her, I mean look at their son, jesus that guy must have crap jeans. Andres a failed pop artist who was in I'm a celebrity get me out of here for the sheer fact that poeple hated him and he was a failed artist.

2: Big Brother, Pop Idol, X Factor, Stricly come... I hate reality TV. Big Brother especially, its literally on for about half a year including the celebrity editions. People always say well if you dont like it, dont watch it. Believe me I dont, but im sick of seeing these house mates on the front of every paper known to man simply because they're a bit "weird". I thought that whole racist thing would be the end of Big Brother but yet it continues. Im sick of people who have won it being thrust down our throats as a "celebrity". They've never done anything to warrant being famous and you know within 2 months of winning any reality tv series they'll have an autobiography out. Its a joke, its actually not worthing winning Big Brother because aslong as your controversial enough you'll get your "story" bought by shite magazines like Hello and Ok and make more money than the winner.

3: Leona Lewis, I am sick to death of hearing that keep bleeding song.

4: Chasing pavements, I dunno who its by but my god its annoying.

5: Cash machines that are so god damn slow because before you even get to take your money out its asking you if you want a mortage or house insurance. Look, im in town, im drunk and I want my money, do I really want a mortage or house insurance at this time? And even if I did would I go to a cash machine for it? No!

**End of rant**

And where is this vid?