Frankie Crisp

The eyes have it. A one-album wonder, but the artwork is as lovely as their work. Mad weirdo Graham Coxon has a self-portrait on the front of Blur’s best album. I mean, come on. Iconic and in keeping with the album. Two Feet is probably the most intriguing artist about today, and this album cover reflects that.

Pulling the census form down on Sunday at about 8pm*, so this is a last shout for anyone who hasn’t submitted and wants to. *If Palace somehow turn Liverpool over it’ll be at about 4am on Wednesday.

Jaws is shit.

Good job you won’t have to worry about any of this bothering you again, knowing you’ve stopped watching it.

If she was genuinely emotional, good on her for being so invested in her job, her passion. If she wasn’t, well, she’s done a very good job in pretending she was and winding a load of people up. We’ve just had the best main event in a decade; I’m more invested in watching every nuance of that wonderful main event than whether a ring announcer pleases me.

Everton have had another 2 points deducted. Assuming Man City are arranging a car boot sale to pay for their upcoming legal fees. Right? RIGHT?

Oh! I forgot. After the chokeslam and the lights coming back on, the unintentional placement of Rock’s belt couldn’t have been better. I ran it back to see if it’d been adjusted by someone for the aesthetic, but no. It fell this way and made the visual so bloody good.

11 years, lads!

I too was hoping for the glass to shatter so we’d get one more Rock/Austin face-off and the former doing one big last stupid oversell to a stunner. When the gong hit, I was a bit deflated thinking that, after all the build, the Final Boss should never be taken out by someone so much older than him. I looked it up and Steve Austin is older than ‘Taker. Wrestling, hey? Absolutely brilliant show, all-in-all. Randy barking at that YouTube berk had me in tucks, Logan Paul should have done this years ago and the whole Drew/Punk thing is going to make for a wonderful feud. Fair play to Becky for going hard after being so unwell, but that outfit with a paragraph on it was horrendous. I assume hers and her fella’s costume designer is David Blunkett. Good for Cody, too. I’d never bought into him until the lead-up to this show and that third slap of the mat made me realise how much he’s won me over. Proper, gorgeous, emotional wrestling and when this industry gets it right, it can’t be touched. Also, if it hadn’t been for the main main, Sami Zayn would have been involved in the best match of Mania for three years on the bounce.

Incredible.

Many happy returns, Punker! Giroud’s Scorpion Kick was an accident.