Supremo

“One of those rental cars belongs to Kevin Owens, and the other, your boy Tama Tonga’s!” CM Punk is going to hit the fucking roof! Good show. He’s in the difficult Kane role as the first Title Challenger after someone wins at Wrestlemania, meaning there’s less than zero drama or doubt of the result, but fair play to AJ Styles. I swear these last two weeks is the most he’s actually tried in years. Seems getting the main event at Backlash has injected some much needed motivation. Alongside a shit load of steroids, obviously. I was going to be a dickhead and point out that with the time difference Cody’s promo made no sense. For him to acknowledge AJ’s win it would mean he was still at the o2 arena, still in his gear, at something mad like half one in the morning. Except it’s Cody, so it wouldn’t be surprising at all for him to stay at a show hours after it finishes to give every single person a photo and autograph. The man is the best. New tag belts are absolutely gorgeous. Impressive showing from the Street Profits. Glad to see them being showcased again. That mad dive from Montez to the outside is glorious! Like he’s flying through your TV! Really good angle with The Bloodline. Solo dressed in his Sunday best was funny. Like a football hooligan appearing in court. He’s doing a spectacular job staging this coup though. Really delivering on the mic. Tama Tonga came across great as a complete nutter, too. Heyman’s acting is a bit much, but what can you do. There isn’t a bigger fan of Bloodline melodrama than Paul Heyman himself. Man is high as fuck on the smell of his own farts. Shout out to Triple H. Talking bollocks on Logan Paul’s podcast the week of Mania about how blood and swearing needs to be used, “in moderation,” and only when, “it really matters.” Took him a fortnight before he used blood again, with Kevin Owens covered in it here. You’re fooling no-one, Hunter. You’re as big a geek for this stuff as the rest of us. Blood is cool. Triple H when asked about blood in a public setting, requiring a professional answer. Triple H actually booking his shows.

This episode made me wonder if they’re building towards a Blackpool Combat Club vs. Don Callis Family Blood and Guts and/or Anarchy in the Arena match. It’s around this time of year they start doing a big faction war to build towards those matches, and they’re the only factions really beefing right now. Ideally they just drop the idea of doing these matches annually, it’s the worst type of contrived booking to always have specific stipulation matches at the same time every year. But if they are going to do it, I can’t really see who else could fit the bill. Maybe a miracle happens, Omega is healthy and they do Elite vs. Elite? Have Hangman and Omega return with their own back up? Can the Motor City Machine Guns still go?

I simply cannot anymore. There needs to be an intervention. We all shouldn’t be punished for eternity, just because Jericho doesn’t want to go home to his nutcase MAGA wife for an extended period of time. Just get a divorce, Chris. You hope Jericho was watching that opening segment. Moxley went away for weeks and it already felt exciting and novel to have him back. It’s not rocket science and requires little to no effort. You can even give those poor bastards at the trademark office a break. Just fuck off for a bit, please! Alas, I’ve given up hope. It won’t happen. I reckon we’re three weeks from him trademarking, “Jericho needs to fuck off.” It was a good go-home show. Everything settling back down after two weeks of their heads falling off because of CM Punk. The momentum’s not there like it could have been, but still a positive sign to see them steady the ship again. Who knew that ignoring people in other companies and just cracking on could produce positive results?! Really good mixed tag. Copeland had some great hoss chemistry with Brodie King. They should do a singles match. Brilliantly fun spots when Willow came out and started diving on Brodie, too. She rules. Strap her up. Interesting the way they had Copeland nod and shake hands with Mercedes. Hopefully what Copeland has been doing is contagious because he and Mercedes couldn’t be more different right now. Copeland is doing all this new, interesting, exciting stuff, whereas Mercedes is very slowly dying on her arse. She looks the absolute business - the rainbow hair from this week may have been the best look yet - but fuck me if there’s nothing there beyond the look and ability to carry yourself like a star. Weeks and weeks of bad, NXT-style promos. Each time they release a, “WE HEAR FROM MERCEDES,” graphic it’s sounding more and more like a threat. It’s the pits. I had to check Wikipedia to confirm, and was not surprised to see Mercedes hasn’t had much of a career beyond NXT and WWE. It seems ingrained in her. Like it’s all she knows. That WWE cadence and rhythm, where everything half rhymes. It stands out as so fake and shit in AEW. The phoney, robotic delivery is only compounded by the crappy, spooky, attacked-in-the-dark storyline. I thought we’d all admitted this Scooby Doo shit belongs in the bin? MJF’s career nosedived trying to make it work in this environment. We had to do a whole G1 tournament to distract everyone from it! Have we learnt nothing? The idea of Mercedes keeping this up, doing these bad promos, crappy acting and not wrestling until the end of May sounds absolutely dreadful. Instant return to form for The New Elite. Great match, fun character work, excellent dickhead-ery. I laughed out loud at Mathew still talking into the microphone as he got suplexed. I saw The Bucks were teasing a surprise at Dynasty. I assume Jack Perry joins The Elite after helping them win the ladder match. Providing they keep the Punk stuff to a minimum and focus on being So Cal Twats, I think it’ll work. Perry looked like a superstar on that New Japan show. Bryan Danielson doing a Bunkhouse Brawl the night before his dream match pay per view headliner. Never change, Bryan. Fantastic match between Ospreay and Claudio. It remains amazing how quickly Ospreay has adapted and became such a complete North American pro-wrestler. Superstar. Great night for Swerve. Good promo and then an amazing spot where he took out everyone with a stomp before landing on his feet. Top guy stuff. It’s time to pull the trigger. Learn from WWE. Pull the trigger when the time is right. We always knew the right time to pull the trigger on Cody was Wrestlemania 40. Definitely not Wrestlemania 39. Same applies here. You can taste it. It’s now or never. Nothing less than a Swerve victory will suffice on Sunday! But yeah. Almost goes without saying. Full support for Nyla, who’s great, massively under-utilised and an absolute hoot on Twitter. This should kickstart a new push.

I had no idea Cool Hand and Ruby were a couple in real life. Double brilliant news!

I don’t know if he’s paid some big bucks to push his stuff recently, but yeah. I’ve gone from not even knowing who Joe Hendry is, to fully believing in him. He’s all over my socials. Feel like every other post on my For You page is his cheeky grin spinning into shot. Catchiest entrance music ever. Get this lad in AEW!

When it comes to, “dream matches,” I try my best to keep my excitement and expectations at a reasonable level. I don’t want another Okada vs. Danielson. Or a modern-day Edge or AJ Styles match at Wrestlemania. But then they release a poster like this and I can’t control the hype. This is class! Love the ferocity on Danielson’s face. Like to think he’s racing to knock a Peri Peri Chicken out of Will’s hands, to suggest a plant-based alternative. The Title match had an equally as cool poster. Two bad ass, cool motherfuckers. The fucking lads. This needs to be Swerve’s moment.

I’m here all day long to watch World Sports Entertainment bomb worse than the XFL.

This shot in particular is absolutely magical. Up there with The Rock walking out of the darkness. Whoever is directing their shows these days is infinitely better than the previous shit show. Super fitting the way the camera zooms out from Sami to reveal the packed house. Metaphor for the last three years. I still attribute this new boom period to Sami’s performance in the Bloodline. Turned the whole company around. Great to see him getting his flowers.

Chris Jericho has trademarked, “The Jericho Vortex.” Because of course he fucking has. All this time and effort to try to play into it and make it a meta character. Surely it’d be easier to just fuck off for a bit, like everyone wants you to? If he’d accepted this six to twelve months ago it’d already nearly be time for him to come back and feel fresh and exciting again. Someone should send him this on Twitter. Try and inspire him to take a break and achieve new goals. Not that it matters though. I’m more convinced than ever he’s trying to burn through his contract to go back to WWE. Any time away is more time he needs to pay back before his contract can expire. He’s probably already sniffed around Hunter about a Hall of Fame induction to get him back in the fold.

It’s something straight out of the school playground. “If you’re Champion of the World, then I’ll be Champion of the Universe!” You could see over Wrestlemania weekend that enough people want to get rid of the stupid, “Universal,” moniker though. Samantha Irvin didn’t even say it when announcing Cody was the winner. So typical of them to still use the word, “Undisputed,” though, when they’ve spent the last year pushing that there’s now two belts that are supposed to be of the same importance. Sounds quite disputed to me.

I didn’t rate this stuff when Bray was doing it, but could at least admit he had some interesting ideas, even if they never went anywhere or concluded satisfactorily. Bo Dallas, and now potentially Matt Hardy, continuing it? Ooof. My hopes are not high. Sami Zayn’s entrance was the stuff of legend. Reminded me of that time Eddie Guerrero did something similar. Do you think Kevin Dunn watches Raw tutting and rolling his eyes? Or does he sigh softly, admitting to himself that he’s a rubbish director who created dog shit television for decades. For a medium in which everyone fights in their underwear, I can’t explain the intangible nature of it. But every now and then, someone just looks like a Dad at the swimming baths. I love Sheamus, but unfortunately that’s exactly how I’d describe his new look. “Twenty five lengths? Think I’ve earned myself a KFC!”

Rhea beat everyone. Looked boss. Vacated the title without putting anyone over. Shawn Michaels truly teaching these rookies THE BUSINESS.

Danhausen to WWE is an interesting idea. Looking at Danhausen’s Twitter Likes the last week or so, that appears to be what he wants, too. He doesn’t seem to be particularly shy about supporting Punk over AEW in this never-ending war of shit. Can Bryan Danielson fine the roster for Likes? Or does it have to be Tweets? Checking Cagematch, Danhausen hasn’t been on AEW television for months, yet continues to wrestle independent shows, so something is definitely up. They’re actively opting to not use him. Fools. Maybe it’s best if they let him go to hang out and drink Pepsi with Phil on Monday nights. I don’t believe he’d be more successful there though. WWE has improved massively, and is far looser and more enjoyable these days, but I’d still have zero faith in WWE doing that type of comedy or character work. It’s a million miles from their style. I don’t even think Hunter would get it. Honestly, it might be Punk’s greatest crime. I love me some Danhausen. It’s a crying shame all this has led to him being in this weird limbo, not making me laugh on TV.

Literally this graphic from Collision. A genuine rush of excitement. Forget the Punk bullshit. He’s back to save the day yet again.

Max Holloway with the greatest finish I’ve ever seen. Phenomenal. They need to change that Islam vs. Dustin Title fight into a Triple Threat involving Max after this!